Friday, December 31, 2010

New Year's Eve

I see where CNN is reprising this year with the team of Anderson Cooper and Kathy Griffin at midnight. I always thought this was a strange match up and was disappointed that the potty-mouthed Griffin was back. Before there was Cooper/Griffin there was the ageless Dick Clark handling the countdown as the ball descended on Times Square. But I must be an old fogey as I recall an erudite gentleman named Ben Grauer, a seasoned broadcaster, wearing a black overcoat and homburg hat, who handled the mike solo and was never lost for words - in all kinds of weather. To paraphrase Adlai Stevenson, I found Grauer appealing and Griffin appalling - but each to his/her own taste. And at midnight the scene would shift to the Roosevelt Grill in Manhattan where Guy Lombardo and the Royal Canadians would be playing the sweetest music this side of heaven and the dancers actually touched each other. Happy New Year.
tjs
Next - O Dem Golden Slippers

Thursday, December 30, 2010

My Kind of Town

Since my son immortalized me in the Chicago Tribune December 28th I feel the urge to salute the Windy City. I won't call it the Second City. In former days the U.S. Lines had their offices at 327 S. LaSalle St. a prestigious address in the Loop. When the passenger ships stopped running we moved the Freight Sales office to Oakbrook in the suburbs.Yesterday's theme reminded me of the following story: On one of my sales visits we were entertaining clients at Johnny Lattner's Restaurant - he of Notre Dame fame. It was a large dining room and there was a group there called the Turtle Society who were inducting new members in this very public forum. Their theme was that the turtle was a clean minded amphibian and any member had to be of a clean mind. One of the questions they posed to prospective inductees was as follows: What does a man do standing up, that a lady does sitting down and a dog does on three legs? If you didn't answer "SHAKE HANDS" you were not accepted.
We canvassed our tablemates on the same question and it appeared that none of us would be swimming with turtles that night.
tjs
Next - New Year's Eve

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

The Handshake

Before there were high fives, fist bumps or bear hugs there was the ordinary handshake - some firm - some soft and some in between. It was useful in sealing a deal, confirming an agreement, starting an athletic event, etc.  I once called on a customer in NYC who was a fitness buff - every morning swimming laps - his handshake almost brought me to my knees. A real macho guy - I counted my digits on the way out and couldn't write for the rest of the day - but I needed his business. Another time while on the South Jersey shore a friend suggested we drive down to the Delaware beaches i.e. Dewey Beach which was still unspoiled. LBJ's daughters used to hang out there - they let you have bonfires on the beach which Jersey would never permit. While searching for his friend's cottage we passed a fellow plucking his guitar on his cottage porch wearing a tee shirt and three day beard - he pointed us next door where the hostess had a visitor - call her Mary Byrd - after introductions all around, the guitar plucker appeared in the doorway - Mrs. Byrd introduced him as her husband Charlie - THE Charlie Byrd whose LPs I had played at home. He and his wife played the clubs around Annapolis Md. and Washington D,C. and his handshake was soft as silk. His hands must have been insured for big bucks. Lastly, back in Philadelphia I was introduced to a prominent female plastic surgeon who was doing pro bono work in Taiwan under the auspices of Madame Chaing Kai Shek.
Her hand was also soft and almost withdrawing. The message seems to be if/when you run into a musician or surgeon, go easy - or maybe just rub noses like the Eskimos do.
tjs
Next - My Kind of Town

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Happy Trails

I read in last Friday's N.Y. Times that they shut down the Roy Rogers/Dale Evans Museum in Missouri and many of the artifacts have been sold at auction - some to the Gene Autry National Center. But several taxidermied animals were sold thru Christie's to an Omaha TV station owner - these included Roy's palomino horse Trigger for $266,500. and Trigger's companion German shepherd, Bullet for $35,000. This owner has sent the animals on a yearlong traveling exhibition, the "Happy Trails Tour." As they say, watch for it in your neighborhood - and Happy Trails to you.
tjs
Next- The Handshake

Monday, December 27, 2010

In the Hood III

Growing up we had several German American families in the neighborhood who had their own social clubs with the oompah bands and picnics on Sunday with names like Kanstatters and Schutzen park. With the outbreak of WWII there was a sensitivity on their part and they Americanized the names of these facilities. Obviously, they had families back in Germany but two families had sons drafted into our armed services and they were loyal citizens. When I walked to school I passed a building that was a National Guard Armory and I often watched them lower the Stars and Stripes at sundown. During WWII this building housed German POWS and circa 1943 they were probably captured in the North African campaign. The armory was adjacent to several athletic fields and in the afternoons they would be marched to a vacant athletic field and we could see them playing soccer with several U.S. sentries standing guard. But they weren't going anywhere - their war was over - and we housed and fed them until the war's end.
tjs
Next - Happy Trails

Sunday, December 26, 2010

Boxing Day

December 26 is Boxing Day throughout the United Kingdom which usually gives our British cousins an extra holiday. The recent heavy snows did close Heathrow Airport but a bit of snow could not deter these hardy folks. I have always considered myself a closet anglophile ever since those twenty-year old R.A.F. pilots battled the Luftwaffe in the Battle of Britain in 1940 thereby, perhaps, preserving western civilization. And in the same year the heroic evacuation of the British army from the beaches of Dunkirk to fight another day. And these people endured rationing long after WWII. Today, I salute my English friends with a song Noel Coward wrote when asked to write something quintessentially English. He chose the subject of his pub called "The Rose and Crown." It goes like this:
"Saturday night at the Rose & Crown is quite the place to be - soldiers and sailors, tinkers and tailors, out on the town for a bit of a spree - if you're tired of life with your husband or wife, and the kids are getting you down - things will all come right on Saturday night - AT THE ROSE AND CROWN". Hail Britannia!
tjs
Next - In the Hood III

Friday, December 24, 2010

Christmas Spirit

On Christmas Eve morning I went into Borders Bookstore to buy a New York Times newspaper. The store was very crowded and I was about thirtieth in line.
The man behind me was wearing a fireman's sweater. We wished each other Merry Christmas. I said I wished they had an express line. He said if that is all you are buying I will take care of it when I reach the counter and you can go on your way.
I thanked him for his generosity and promised not to set any fires during the holidays. It was pure serendipity and perhaps one half an O. Henry story. Oh, and it was the last copy of the Times on the shelf.
tjs

Christmas Eve

Christmas is for family. I am fortunate to be surrounded by my extended family at this holiday time. My son is in from Chicago, my nephew arrived from Beirut and we Floridians are "freezin in Philly". A friend told me that when the two branches of his family cannot be together at this time they set up SKYPE cameras in both dining rooms as sort of a communal Christmas dinner. They can then see and hear each other and compare menus, etc. What a marvelous idea! Here's wishing you all a holy and merry Christmas from our house to yours with a better year ahead in 2011.
tjs
Next - Christmas Day

Thursday, December 23, 2010

The Telephone Call

Please pay attention as our menu has changed! This call may be recorded for training purposes-
For English press 1 - for Spanish press 2 - for all others press 3
If you know your party's extension press it now - otherwise stand by.
Your call may be answered in four minutes - we value your time.
Please do not hang up - you will lose your place in the queue.
While waiting we will entertain you with the Canadian Brass playing their holiday medley - featuring a tuba solo.

"Hallo!! can we help you?"

"Are you in Mumbai or Manila?" "If you are in Mumbai you are ahead of me."
"If you are in Manila it is tomorrow - and now I am so confused that I forgot why I called".
The other beauty is the call for a charitable pledge - it usually comes when you have something on the stove. If you succumb in a weak moment the caller will say "Thank you - shortly you will receive a call from my supervisor to confirm your pledge". so that instead of one irritating call, you now have two. It's enough to squeeze the Christmas spirit out of you. Bah humbug!
tjs
Next - Christmas Eve

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

How now brown cow

It is said that our speech betrays us. On my first visit to London I wanted to visit a music hall presentation which was similar to our vaudeville. At intermission we all went back to a small bar where the piano player was playing "The Lily of Laguna" to a singalong. I bellied up to the bar and said three words to the barmaid - "Gin and Tonic." She asked "Do you want ice, Yank?" and she spared me a sliver.
I thought I was blending in with these Brits but I guess my haircut gave me away. Years later I visited one of our ships in Jacksonville that had just arrived from Philadephia. There was a passenger on board, a writer for a maritime journal who must have had a good ear. I asked him how was the ride down from Philly. He said "Fine, what part of Philadelphia are you from?" The guy had me within five miles of my roots after twenty-five years. It was uncanny - and eerie. I recall a line from an old black & white movie where a lady says "you must be from Phil-a-del-phi-a, you slur your dipthongs.!" I guess you can take the lad out of Philadelphia but you can't take Philly out of the lad. GO IGGLES!
tjs
(P.S. - Even St. Peter was outed by the servant maid in the courtyard as his accent was so similar to Jesus the Galilean)

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Radio Days II

One of the powerhouses of daytime radio was Arthur Godfrey - with his folksy low keyed delivery he could sell anything and housewives took his endorsement as gospel. But he could be petulant and once fired his singer, Julius LaRosa on the air (in TV time) In the evening you might catch Rudy Vallee, the Connecticut Yankee who greeted you "Hi Ho everybody" and sang thru a megaphone. It was said he had the first nickel he ever earned. Jimmy Durante always closed with "Goodnight Mrs.Calabash, wherever you are." He could be great and unscripted in a nightclub. But the most commanding voice on evening radio was that of Walter Winchell a throwback reporter who wore a felt fedora behind the microphone like a scene from "Front Page" or Damon Runyon. He had a staccato delivery and opened his broadcast with "Good evening, ladies and gentlemen and all the ships at sea, let's go to press." He also had a nightlife beat and a column in the morning paper. It was said that a mention in his column could make or break a career. He had a long standing feud with Ed Sullivan, another seasoned reporter from another paper - two pros from different walks of life. My mother went out one Christmas eve and came home with a small table model Emerson which became a bedside model and with the airwaves uncluttered at night we could bring in distant cities as Pittsburgh, Cleveland and Detroit and catch hockey games and sporting events - all with the spin of the dial. Bing Crosby had a marvelous baritone voice and White Christmas was a best seller. And it wouldn't be New Years eve without Guy Lombardo playing Auld Lang Syne - and when Bing and Guy died within three weeks of each other in 1977,  I commented that they snuffed out Christmas and New Years in one fell swoop.
tjs
Next - How Now Brown Cow

We will be traveling north for a fortnight and posting may be spotty during that time. Log in when you feel the urge.

Monday, December 20, 2010

Road Rage

While working in New York I had an evening commitment that required me to drive into the city. It was a long day and evening and around 10:00PM I found myself driving north on the Henry Hudson Parkway entering Westchester County and approaching an unoccupied toll booth with the barrier down.
 As I tossed my only quarter toward the bin I missed and it fell to the ground. With the barrier down and no more coins I alighted from my vehicle to correct the situation when the car behind me blew his horn as New Yorkers will do. With fatigue and exasperation with my situation I yelled something to the hornblower - nothing profane or obscene - but nevertheless confrontational. Big mistake! I then moved on and soon found I was being followed. I sped up - he sped up. I slowed down - he slowed down. I was now approaching a remote area of Westchester and would soon need to exit the parkway and I didn't want my companion following me into my garage. I decided to slow down further in the right lane and he came along side in the left lane, looked at me and presented his middle digit (as they say in New York he gave me the finguh) - and then he went on his way. I was fortunate he held nothing else in his hand. He just wanted the last wordless word. But, boys and girls, there is a lesson here - and mum's the word, zip the lip or as Archie Bunker used to say "Stifle it."
tjs
Next - Radio Days II

Sunday, December 19, 2010

The 19th Hole

This fellow had just finished a round of golf and was relaxing with a drink in the lounge preparatory to heading for the shower when the cellphone on the table rang and he put it on speaker. The female voice said "Honey, I just heard of a great buy on a Mercedes with $10,000. off, should I buy it?" He said sure if it makes you happy. Then she said there was a steep discount on a mink coat that she was longing for, might she have it?" He said if it makes you happy go for it. Then she said she saw a dress in Bergdorfs window which she could wear to the country club dance, was it possible?" He said you'll look great, get it. She bubbled thanks and hung up.
He ambled into the locker room and said "Anybody know who owns this cellphone?"
tjs
Next - Road Rage

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Long Live the King

"As I was going to St. Ives, I met a man with seven wives." Such is the start of an English nursery rhyme. But the man was not Larry King although he has had seven wives. Larry said goodbye to his TV audience Thursday surrounded by celebrities, former host anchors and a few surprises. One was a cameo from Bill Clinton in Little Rock. Larry was getting pretty emotional with all the surprises and he blurted out to Clinton "You and I are members of the zipper club." Bill Clinton is not often lost for words but he seemed to be caught off guard by this remark. Meanwhile, a producer must have cued Larry for he felt he had to explain the zipper referred to was the scar left from open heart surgery which they both had undergone. To which Clinton quickly retorted "I'm glad you clarified that.!!" An unscripted moment which is the joy of live television.
tjs
Next - The 19th Hole

Friday, December 17, 2010

Reflection

This is my 50th consecutive BLOG - I guess I will keep trying until I get it right! But if you have stayed with me this long you are a very loyal audience. I don't expect to replace Andy Rooney and I could never replicate his bushy eyebrows - but he does only work one day a week. And I don't expect to hit a home run every time at bat for even Ted Williams in his best year only hit forty percent  of the time. I hope my PUNS have not been too PUNishing. But with your indulgence, encouragement and occasional welcome feedback,  I will continue to "chronicle" a slice of American life as I observed it over the years and introduce you to some of the characters who have crossed my path. I hope I haven't been boring.
tjs
Next - Long Live the King

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Role Playing

My last employer had a very active Human Resources Department always on the alert for any workplace shenanigans. It was mandatory that we all attend seminars yearly on the subject of Sexual Harassment. For some reason I was always assigned the role of harasser in the "make believe" activity. Perhaps it was the Lieutenant Colombo raincoat I was wearing at the time that made me look like a perpetrator.
In any event I began to dread these yearly performances - I also bought a new raincoat.
tjs
Next - Reflection

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Dog & Pony Show

In the late 1970s the steamship business was going thru transition converting from a breakbulk labor intensive operation to Containerization and we all had to adapt and learn the trucking business. I was then in staff sales in New York and I put together a slide presentation on the Container which I showed to traffic clubs, college campuses and anyone who would give me an audience. One day a salesman down south called - said his traffic club was meeting in a week and it was his turn to provide a speaker and could I come down and bail him out. Up to that time I had never been south of the Mason-Dixon Line so I asked if he had any advice. He said "Don't wear a three piece suit." On the appointed day I flew with my black box down to Alabama - the meeting was to be on the campus of the Univ. of Alabama at Tuscaloosa. Driving thru the campus there was a life size statue of Coach Bear Bryant so I knew I was in bear country. The meeting was in a small cafeteria type room with maybe two dozen attendees. Now I knew that my new owner had many friends in Mobile and might some of them be here? As I was fretting how I was going to warm up this group, the lady who was to introduce me appeared - a tall blonde wearing a crimson blazer. She leaned into the microphone and yelled "LET'S HAVE A ROLL TIDE!" The room erupted - and after a few Q&A this Yankee boy was home free.
I was glad I left my vest at home.
tjs
Next - Role Playing

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

What a surprise!

A young priest friend of mine had been assigned to various parishes in Eastern Pennsylvania including ministering to the criminal ward at the Philadelphia General Hospital so he had heard his share of the dark side. This day in question he was stationed in a small parish in a town near Marcus Hook Pa. a oil refining community on the banks of the Delaware River. The rectory doorbell rang and he answered to see a young man on the steps who said "My wife is out in the car and I would like to talk to a priest." Fr. Joe said "Bring your wife in and we can talk in a conference room." The man said "You don't understand, my wife is in the trunk of the car." Fortunately, the old pastor was in the house and he arrived and took over the scene and it was his name in the newspapers the next day and my young friend had been spared. But nothing they taught him in the seminary prepared him for that day the doorbell rang.
tjs
Next - Dog & Pony Show

Monday, December 13, 2010

Welcome to New York

After commuting for a year from Philadelphia to New York I finally found housing in a high rise in Yonkers overlooking the Hudson River. I arrived early November 1976 and my new commute was a one mile drive to the R.R. station - train to Grand Central - subway to Bowling Green at the Battery.  Parking was limited at the Yonkers station and many commuters parked on the street leading down to the tracks which was my routine as well. I was settling in after three weeks when on a midweek day I went into the "city" - to the office - thence to Laguardia to fly to a distant city - back the next day - to the office and home on the evening train. I was gone approx. 36 hours. As I approached my car I was shocked to find my Chevy Impala up on milk boxes. Somebody wanted my new snow tires - and rims. There was a note on the windshield "We have arrested the persons in the theft of your tires - please call the Yonkers police." Meanwhile, I had to march up the hill with briefcase and baggage to get home and reverse that route the following morning to witness all my fellow commuters gawking at my immobile Impala. Reaching the city I called the police who requested my presence to have my photo taken alongside my tires which would be Exhibit A in the courtroom. The plainclothes cops had been on a stakeout at the R.R. station a/c several complaints and nabbed the two guys after they had removed my tires. They said I would hear from the D.A. if they needed me further. I expressed my thanks and they said to come with them - they threw my tires into their pickup and off we went to the scene of the crime. Then I remembered we had tires, rims but no lug nuts!! The next scene was the two cops and me in my camels hair topcoat down in the gutter sifting among the leaves where the thieves had thoughtfully left the lug nuts. The cops jacked up the car, put on the tires and I had the foresight to bring a box of cigars which were appreciated. The D.A. notified me that the "perps" were three time losers and he would not require my appearance. So after three weeks I was now a victimized, put-upon, hardened New Yorker.
tjs
Next - What a Surprise!

Sunday, December 12, 2010

The Guinness Book of Records

It seems the Guinness people may have overlooked two of the most impressive feats in modern history indicated by the following riddles:

What was the largest plumbing project ever attempted?
Answer - Flushing , Queens.

What was the most delicate medical operation ever attempted?
Answer - Lansing, Michigan

Perhaps they will include in their next printing.
tjs
Next - Welcome to New York

Saturday, December 11, 2010

The Heisman Award

Whether you are a football fan or a sports fan in general you are probably aware of the Heisman Award ceremony to take place tonight Saturday December 11th to nominate the most valuable college player of the year. This ceremony is followed up by a gala dinner several weeks later in a Manhattan hotel. Some years ago - circa 1982 - the USLines V.P. was on the dinner committee and we entertained several tables of guests - black tie, etc. The winner that year was Hershel Walker from the University of Georgia in Athens, Ga. and the black & red colors of their team were in evidence thruout the audience. As I stepped on the crowded hotel elevator in the lobby I glanced down at my feet and there was their Bulldog mascot called UGA II wearing his red sweater. It was a slow ride up to the ballroom and I began to fret about my ankles and also my rented tuxedo. But UGA II was well behaved and was admitted to the ballroom. I didn't ask if he liked white meat or was a vegetarian. His successor today is UGA VII  and the line goes on. Tonight - 8PM EST ESPN.
tjs
Next - The Guiness Book of Records

Friday, December 10, 2010

Humor in the workplace

In Sunday December 5th edition of the New York Times - Business Section - there was an interview with a female CEO who said she looks for "wit" in new hires and that "they laugh all the time" in her company. What a boss! When I was in sales for USLines our V.P. in New York - call him Jim R. - had a keen mind and a quick wit - but he had a bad set of choppers - think Bugs Bunnyesque. One day he arrived at the Waldorf Astoria Hotel for a luncheon engagement and the lobby was teeming with conventioneers. The ladies were arrayed behind their card tables and curious Jim went over and asked "What's going on?" They replied that it was the National Convention of Orthodontists. He said "Where were you when I needed you?" Customers loved him and the new management did also and sent him to London as V.P. for all Europe. This lofty position came with a few "perks" - a car and a driver. He inherited a vintage British saloon car which he quickly updated to a late model Bentley - and outfitted his driver with a Long Island R.R. conductor cap - kepi style. Soon this extravagance filtered back to the home office and when he came home on leave the Chairman grilled him on the issue, saying "Jim, we know about the Bentley but we can't find it in your expense account - where are you hiding it?" Jim said "Try the medical expenses - I leased it from a doctor." Big Jim left us this year at age 91 soon after breaking 100 on the golf course - I told him if he lived long enough he could shoot his age. A great guy to work for - once he gave up the martinis.!
tjs
(P.S. Read where Dec. 8 was John Lennon's 70th birthday - his widow said the two of them laughed a lot.)
Next - The Heisman Award

Thursday, December 9, 2010

E.E.O.C.

In Philadelphia our office was on the top floor of a high rise building and our neighbor down the hall was a tugboat company. Word filtered thru the building that the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission known as E.E.O.C. was visiting. They entered our neighbor during the lunch hour when only Richie the tug dispatcher was out front and Roy the manager was sitting in the back with his feet up on the desk reading the Daily Racing Form. The team leader with the clipboard asked Ritchie how many people were employed there. Ritchie said "eight" but some are out to lunch. Then they asked if there were any minorities working there. Richie said "only one, the manager in the back of the room". Now Roy the manager had a swarthy complexion and with a three day beard (which he often shaved off in the mens room) he could "pass" and his countenance was partially hidden by the Racing Form. The Team squinted at Roy but seemed to be satisfied that they had a "coup" - a manager - and having made their quota - like Elvis - they "left the building". But we were ready for them if they came as we had on staff a young lady from Guam. We felt a female Guamanian must have been worth a few extra points but we never had a chance to show our cards. Chalk it up to the bureaucracy.
teejay8232@aol.com
Next - Humor in the Workplace

Monday, December 6, 2010

Radio Days

Before we had television we had only radio. Radio was a very personal medium. You felt the voice was speaking only to you. There was usually only one radio in a household and the entire family gathered around the console in the evening to mutually hear the news and the variety shows. During WWII the news was broadcast by such as Gabriel Heatter who intoned"There's good news tonight" or more often "there's bad news tonight." And Ed Murrow broadcasting from London during the blitz with his deliberate cadence - you could almost see the cigarette in his hand. After the news you waited for Amos & Andy, Gang  Busters, The Shadow, Jack Benny, Fred Allen et al - to try to forget the war. FDR's voice was made for radio as he gave his fireside chats. My first exposure to opera was listening to Fred Allen's show where he did parodys on Carmen and The Barber of Seville - with the original music but special lyrics. And the Lone Ranger's theme was Rossini's William Tell Overture. Some of the entertainers included Eddie Cantor who they called Banjo Eyes for obvious reasons. He was a mentor to young people as Dinah Shore and Eddie Fisher. He had been a singing waiter on the east side of New York.
He always closed his show with "I love to spend each Sunday with you - as friend to friend I'm sorry it's thru etc" - Ben Bernie the orchestra leader with the southern drawl always closed with "Au revoir, pleasant dreams, think of us when requesting your themes - until the next time then etc." Then there were the sports broadcasters - Bill Stern did mostly football but also had a radio show which he closed with "And that's the three o mark for tonight." The word "thirty" being a newspaperman's code for the end of a column. Clem McCarthy had a staccato delivery and did mostly boxing matches and horse racing. In his excitement he once called the wrong winner in the Kentucky Derby and had to correct himself. He would never get away with that today. But what a voice.! Baseball announcers had the syrupy flavor of the south - Mel Allen - Red Barber - By Saam - they brought the game alive to you
and heaven forbid you had to listen to a game fed by teletype. Radio was king until Milton Berle appeared on the twelve inch black & white screen in your living room. more later.
tjs

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Floor, please?

You recently met my friend the Port Chaplain. One day he was visiting a sick parishioner in the hospital, he wearing his full cleric suit and Roman collar. After stepping on the elevator the elevator operator turned to him and said - "Reverend, Ise the same as you is, except I work during the week." Badda Bing! I think Father Tom replied in Latin and perhaps extended a blessing on the fellow's parentage.
teejay8232@aol.com

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Ethnic Humor

A Frenchman, a German and a Jew were trekking thru the desert apparently having lost their camels or run out of gas. The following exchange ensued:
Frenchman said "I am really thirsty, I would love to have a cool glass of French wine."
German said "I am dying of thirst, I could crave a cold glass of German beer."
The Jew said " I am really, really thirsty - I must have diabetes."
teejay8232@aol.com

Friday, December 3, 2010

True Confessions

A Catholic priest, a Baptist minister, a Rabbi and an Episcopalian priest went on a fishing trip together to further the spirit of Ecumenism with no cell phones, hand helds or other distractions. The quiet isolation provoked discussion and it was suggested that each "confess" their most serious transgression to the group presumably to foster group absolution. The following ensued:
A - Catholic priest said he sometimes went to the race track and overbet.
B- The Baptist Minister admitted that when on vacation he headed to the nearest bar.
C - The Rabbi acknowledged that when traveling he yearned for a pork sandwich.
D - The Episcopalian was reluctant to participate but after coaxing said "I am the town gossip and I  can't wait to get home."
teejay8232@aol.com

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Vaudeville

Recently, I introduced you to the late Fr. John Seary, O.S.A. - he had a sister Catherine who had a lovely cultured voice and she teamed with her friend Tilly on piano and they joined a vaudeville tour riding the rails - unchaperoned - thru the small towns of America. This didn't last long and they both found other pursuits. Tilly landed in a music store in midtown Manhattan playing piano from sheet music which was how you sold songs as many homes had pianos as the central source of entertainment. One day her store manager came to her and said "There is a Broadway entertainer staying at the Biltmore Hotel and he needs an accompanist to rehearse, so hurry over there - they are expecting you," The entertainer turned out to be Al Jolson  at the peak of his career- Oh Mammy!
Tilly married my friend Stew T. and their house parties were lots of fun - with Tilly tickling the ivories and Stew doing his Ted Lewis imitation of "Me and my shadow" as he strutted across the floor.
One night I jumped in behind him with my collar up as his shadow. It was all impromptu and in the long ago.
teejay8232@aol.com

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Timing is everything

In the Philadelphia pier office we had a fellow who drew our stowage plans for the ships. He went by Sam M. but his real name was Salvatore M. a native of South Philly - very volatile personality - we always thought he might be "connected". Sam had a large home on South Broad Street with an equally large front lawn - the kind you might see with a couple of flamingoes on it. It was a time when the city was building a new Food Center about seven blocks east of Broad St. and the excavation was causing the rodents to migrate west and some took up residence on Sam's lawn. He railed about this to all within earshot and someone suggested he call the Mayor. The mayor of Philadelphia at the time was Richardson C. Dilworth, a fiesty Wasp politician with a nasal voice who always wore double-breasted pinstripe suits custom made on Savile Row in London. But he had been a U.S. Marine officer in WWII and was no pushover. Sam - (thru his connections) obtained Dilworth's private phone number and with fellow pier workers egging him on he dialed the Mayor. Dilworth answered the phone and Sam gave him an earful.
When the caller paused for breath Dilworth said the following "Now you listen to me, I just got off the sinking of the ANDREA  DORIA, I lost all my baggage and wardrobe, this is my first day back in the office and you have to call me about rodents!!!" For the first time in his life our friend Sam was speechless.
Timing is everything!
teejay8232@aol.com