Local Color

 They say all politics is/are local so political bribery can also be local - this time in Allentown, Pa. northwest of Phila. where the mayor is on trial for fraud, bribery and conspiracy. As criminals have nicknames they also have code words for the payoff - in this case it's "meatballs" as in "can I come over for some meatballs" - to sound convincing to the judge one miscreant said he kept Tupperware in his car to handle the leftovers. Last year in Maryland the code word was "lollipop". In Boston Whitey Bulger's boys would say "the balloon is rising" when a target made a move. And most people who say they have to see a man about a horse are not equestrians. Tony Soprano would be envious.
tjs

Five Rings

The Russian Olympic Committee has been banned from the 2018 Winter Games due to doping in the last events at Sochi, although an estimated 167 "clean" athletes can compete under a neutral flag.

North & South Korean hockey players will play together as a team and march under one flag. But the South athletes are not happy about this.

A sprinter from the 2016 games was exonerated from a doping charge explaining that the substance in his body was from the sinus medication taken by his girl friend and was the result of passionate kissing. The appeals court sided with the passionate "osculation" defense.

Due to time zone differences it appears most of our viewing will be in the evenings. The games leading off are "curling" - stay tuned.
tjs

Did You Know?

First there were wine bars and tasting rooms - now the "in" thing in Manhattan is a tasting room for beer devotees. And a beer sommelier is called a cicerone. (Sounds like a guy who played first base for the Yankees) A far cry from the growler craze. And women are leading the way with the NY Times headline reading "More Women are calling the Shots!"
- Are you planning any travel to Europe? When the Euro was designed with all countries participating, it was one Euro to one U.S. Dollar.
Gradually, "fluctuations" ensued and a year ago it cost you est $1.14 to buy one Euro. But to encourage exports our government has allowed our dollar to weaken so now it costs $1.24 to buy one Euro. The Paris bistros will eat your lunch rather than the other way around. Better to take that trip to Canada - their Loony dollar will only cost you US$.81 cents. And all those greenbacks that I have under the mattress were just diluted.
Boo Hiss!
tjs

Believe It or Not

Dateline - Frankfurt, Germany: further on Volkswagen's practice of deception on exhaust emissions it was revealed that they commissioned laboratory tests with an unusual experiment: Ten monkeys squatted in airtight chambers watching cartoons for entertainment as they inhaled fumes from a diesel Beetle. Except the scientists conducting the test were unaware of one critical fact: The Beetle provided by VW had been rigged to produce pollution levels less than would be experienced on the road. Nobody asked the monkeys' opinion of the cartoons. How to destroy a "brand"! See Enron, Wells Fargo, Weinstein, etc.
tjs

Fake News

Let Trump fly to Davos to frolic in the snow - we still have breaking news at home.
-Pope Francis chimed in on "fake news" - said it all began when "the serpent in the Garden of Eden hissed the first fake news to Eve and it all went downhill from there." Arguing that the crafty serpent's effective disinformation campaign to get Eve to eat from the tree of knowledge began the tragic history of human sin.
-Below the fold but also with a reference to "faking" is the article on the Saudi Arabia Camel Festival involving 30,000 camels - some to race but most in a beauty contest. It seems twelve camels were disqualified as their owners had injected their lips with "botox". Lips too droopy!
(Both items NYT 1/25/18)
TJS

Pondering

Did you know what your U.S. Supreme Court was up to recently? - those nine robed thinkers with no term limits?
- They ruled in favor of the police who raided a noisy party in a vacant house. The defendants pleaded that it was a bachelor party but Justice Clarence Thomas broke his silence by asking "How can you have a bachelor party without a bachelor?"
-The court agreed to hear a case on the habitat of an endangered animal, the dusky gopher frog. Weyerhauser vs. U.S. Fish & Wildlife.
-And still unsettled is the issue of the baker who refused to bake a wedding cake for a gay couple.
-These are all weighty issues to ponder and keep them up late but they will take a break to attend the State of the Union address and show off their finery. Oyez! Oyez! All rise!
tjs

Flying Circus

Delta Airlines is tightening its rules for transporting service and support animals. Service dogs are specially trained. Emotional support animals providing comfort are not.  Both types ride free. But some pet owners trying to avoid the $100+ charge are declaring their pets as comfort animals. Some have attempted to fly with comfort turkeys, gliding possums, snakes, spiders and more. Delta said they carry 500 support animals each DAY. It isn't just an obese passenger you will have to fight with over the arm rests. On the bright side, JFK Terminal in New York is opening a luxurious animal center with "pawdicares" for dogs and high end horse stalls. And all you wanted was a little leg room.
tjs

Government Speak

St. Paul's Epistle Sunday began "Time is running out........." With the Government shut down all the bureaucrats are lingering over their coffee. Which recalls the dilemma faced by Joe the plumber from Grand Rapids, Michigan. He was about to begin a complex operation and needed to know the effect of sulfuric acid on cast iron. (This was pre-Google) He decided to contact the U.S. Labor Dept. in Washington, D.C. - they would know the answer. After his initial inquiry the exchange went something like this:
L.D. - (hard mail) Sulfuric acid is contraindicated for your project.
Joe - Thank you for your interest - I have ordered a carboy of acid.
L.D. - (overnight mail) Be advised this acid is deleterious to cast iron.
Joe - Thank you -the acid just arrived and I am starting my work tomorrow.
L.D. (via Western Union Telegram) DON'T USE THE ACID - IT EATS THE HELL OUT OF CAST IRON!
tjs

Tough Town

Congress: The difference between being part of negotiations or being outside the talks: "If you aren't at the table, you are on the menu.!" (NYT)

POTUS told Ivanka, who was being berated by Bannon, "I told you this was a tough town, baby!"

Which recalls that old saw - If you need a friend in D.C. buy a dog.
tjs

Testing 1-2-3

POTUS took the Montreal Cognitive Assessment test and his doctor said he scored 30 out of 30 - with a 26 normal. He is truly remarkable - repeating five words after five minutes without a cue. Recall that he accused Hillary of receiving the debate questions in advance. The easy part was identifying three animals - a lion, rhino and a camel. He, being a RINO - (Republican in Name Only) had no trouble with this 3 point question. Now it's on to the treadmill and that fish diet - and perhaps walking eighteen holes.
tjs

Language Usage

Dateline Turkey - a 737 while landing skidded on a wet runway, went down an embankment with the nose resting feet from the Black Sea. The airline statement said they had a "runway excursion incident".

I keep hearing the phrase "chain migration" coming out of our nation's capital. Don't they realize that some of our ancestors arrived in chains? POTUS says "he knows words" - would think he could find a better "link" than chain. Wiliam Safire, where are you when needed?

Trump with his 5th grade vocabulary is parsing the difference between "I" and "I'd" - he's taking on that quirky apostrophe. Reminds one of Bill Clinton's "it depends on what the meaning of "is" is!"
tjs

Calendar Quirks

2018 is providing some calendar quirkiness. Both January and March have "blue" moons - a blue moon is the second full moon in a calendar month.
In February we find Valentine's Day falling on Ash Wednesday so those chocolates have to be consumed on Shrove Tuesday. And All Fools' Day coincides with Easter Sunday. A friend used to remind me that April 1st was the opening of trout season - no fooling! But trout have too many bones for me.
tjs

Tales/Tails of Two Cities.

Two news items from opposite sides of the world:
-Beijing, China - The president of France, Emmanuel Macron, arrived in China bearing gifts. One was a brown horse named Vesuvius, the pride of the French cavalry, except his name is Italian - but he wasn't a Greek Trojan horse - all of which must have confused the Chinese - particularly when he segued into Mandarin saying it was time to "make our planet great again." This guy is a comer.
-Ottawa, Canada - The hottest book selling in Washington is "Fire & Fury" and is flying off the shelves. But the same title was published in Canada ten years ago which applied to the British bombing of German cities. This book is having a renaissance north of the border, but, alas, some of these may be returned.
tjs

On the Block

 Four years ago - Jan. 9, 2014 my blog was titled "Class Distinction" which referred to Downton Abbey with all its kitchen help, etc. Now picture such a manor on the auctioneer's block selling off all its contents. Two scullery maids came to witness the execution and sat in the back row. As the silverware and the clocks went under the hammer, these ladies began to sob and soon a cry went up that sounded like the following:
"Don't sell the biby's chair, the one that we held so dear - you can sell old grandfather's spittle (cuspidor) - but don't sell the chair with the hole in the middle- 'twas knocked down for two shillings and with it went many a tear - til up stepped a Navvy (stevedore) - a stout hearted navvy - and knocked down the auctioneer." If you find me near an open mic I will sing for you the melody.
tjs

Where's the Proof?

A stolen bottle of Vodka made headlines in Copenhagen, Denmark after it disappeared from a cafe after being on loan from a Latvian car manufacturer. The only time I sample this beverage is if/when I am at the Russian Tea Room in midwinter. But this bottle was gold & silver encrusted and the contents were made with melted snow from the French Alps. Stoli & the Goose take notice. The distiller said it was very tasty - smooth & round - not like the wheat based variety.
The bottle was recovered but the contents were gone - probably sampled by an Alpine skier.
tjs

The Plight of the Iguana

A play on the 1964 movie "The Night of the Iguana." During my twenty-two years in Florida we did encounter a few cold periods usually symbolized by ice in the birdbath. But the current freeze with temperatures in the low 20s has had a peculiar effect on the local fauna. Green iguanas -
stunned by the cold - have been dropping out of trees. One seen in Boca Raton was lying with his feet up - and he lived. One has to wonder if these geckos have their Personal Injury insurance with GEICO!
tjs

Buttoned Up.

Word just in from the "Navel" Observatory by way of the school yard that "my belly button is bigger than yours! And you're an outie and I'm an innie!"
And throw in a "your mother wears army shoes!" so the insults are flying. Which recalled that old puzzling fact that Eve in the Garden of Eden was the only woman without a navel. But never mind, I am returning to contemplate my navel as I watch the "liberal" snowflakes fall.
tjs

POTtering Along.

California became the latest state to legalize recreational marijuana. This makes all the blue states on the west coast now under a haze of blue smoke. The early states - i.e. Colorado had a frustrating experience trying to bank all their cash. The Federal regulations forbade the largest banks from accepting this "tainted" money. Unless things have relaxed in recent months, the admonition is to bring "cash" for your brown paper bag of "pot".
tjs

Jimmy Breslin, R.I.P.

This is the time of year when we re-discover the notables and celebrities who have passed on during 2017. One was Jimmy Breslin a newspaper columnist for 50+ years.
-In 1969 he ran for City Council of NYC on a ticket with Norman Mailer. Their pitch was to make New York City the 51st state.
-In 1977 he was instrumental in the arrest of the serial killer "Son of Sam" who lived several blocks from me in Yonkers. (Thanks, Jimmy)
-In between he survived a beating from the Mafia.
He never drove a car but when he heard a siren he wanted to chase after it. One of his deep thoughts was "The test of a good idea is its ability to last thru a hangover." He was a rarity.
tjs