Wednesday, August 24, 2016

What a Crock!

Dateline - Northern Territory, Australia. On a slow news day the NYTimes reports from the town of Humpty Doo that four shirtless men broke into a school office after having hurled three crocodiles thru the plate glass window to scare off any occupants. A computer was stolen but the invaders escaped, however the crocs were detained as material witnesses. Anyway, have a g'day mate!

Monday, August 22, 2016

Habla English?

New York City announced that no longer would a English test be required for aspiring taxi drivers which would then put them on equal footing with Uber drivers. Since most of the current drivers come from Bangladesh, perhaps we should study their tongue for the ease of communicating. I recall that when with a tour group in Rome staying in a second class hotel I wanted to take a bath and the chambermaid spoke no English and the best I could do was fall back on my altar boy Latin and say "lavabo - lavabo" until she gave me the key to the common room and a large towel. I grew up with Greek families and my playmates taught me their curse words phonetically but such linguistic ability would be no help when hailing a cab in New York. Thank goodness for Google Maps.

Wednesday, August 17, 2016

What's on your lawn?

Years ago, depending on your location, you might observe an occasional jockey or flamingo on your neighbor's lawn. But in residential New York City the most popular statuary was the Madonna or the Blessed Mother. A masonry dealer in Brooklyn used to sell 300 Blessed Mothers a month. As demographics changed this number is down to a trickle being replaced by elephants for the Indian population, lions for the Chinese and all kinds of Buddhas for many others. As the Blessed Mother's popularity diminishes she still has one thing going for her - on August 15th the feast of the Assumption - New York City's alternate side of the street parking regulation is suspended.

Tuesday, August 16, 2016


Is nothing sacred? It seems that Russian hackers have penetrated our political arena but it shouldn't be surprising. In 1982 we were building a new U.S. Embassy in Moscow using Russian contractors and it was discovered they were planting listening devices in the walls. They had to halt construction which was 65% finished and we had to start over at a different site using American workers. Then I recalled how we confounded the Japanese during WWII by having Navajo Marines assigned as Code Talkers using their native tongue and the enemy never broke their code. Our electronic systems are so vulnerable - but we could always revert to carrier pigeons.

Monday, August 15, 2016


This is not about marking cattle. The several companies I worked for were meticulous about protecting their "brand" even to trademarking their logos, etc. The mantra was always "Don't do anything to damage the "brand". Then comes Volkswagen cheating on exhaust emissions causing heads to roll costing billions of dollars and seriously damaging their global "brand". Now we have Donald Trump using terms like "cheating" and "rigging" as he lays the groundwork for his potential loss. His reckless assault on our election process is damaging his "brand" which he has plastered on so many facades and this will affect his children for years to come.

Tuesday, August 9, 2016

Mondo Cane

I wasn't aware that BIG D stood for DOG. But I just read where there are 8700 loose dogs roaming the streets of South Dallas - Texas that is. But not all at one time. Some residents are carrying a big stick on their neighborhood walks and dog bites have increased 15% - not good for the tourist industry. And be careful where you walk. But if you are thinking of adoption you will have the pick of the litter. As they say around Washington, D.C. "If you need a friend, buy a dog."

Friday, August 5, 2016

The Alpha and Omega

The alphabet according to Donald Trump with apologies to Noah Webster:
A - Arrogant (alpha male)
B - Bombastic
C - Crass
D - Delusional
E - Ethically flawed
F - Fatuous
G - Greedy
H - Hyperbolic
I -  Impulsive
J - Jealous
K - Knee jerky
L - Lyin' Donald
M - Mendacious
N - Narcissistic
O - Obnoxious
P - Pompous
Q - Questionable Stability
R - Reckless
S - Stubborn
T - Thin Skinned
U - Uncompromising
V - Vindictive
W - Withholding Taxes
X - Xenophobic
Y - You gotta be kidding
Z - The Omega (End)
......and now you know your ABCs.