Friday, February 23, 2018

Sleep Tight

Donald Trump is advocating guns in the classroom. Ivanka is in Korea doing soft diplomacy. Don Jr. is in India on business but plans to give a Foreign Policy speech. Eric has been quiet but may be pre-occupied planning his next safari. Melania hasn't been heard from but does anyone think that - absent the Secret Service - she would want gun toting teachers in her son's classroom? To paraphrase the Godfather "It's all about the family."

Thursday, February 22, 2018

Quote of the Day

Three busloads of students traveled 450 miles to Tallahassee to interface with their elected representatives. One group told of visiting the office of one legislator and were told by a staffer that he was "not a morning person" and couldn't see them. One wonders what he was doing the night before. Perhaps he should indicate such conditional caveats on the ballot. I lived in Florida for twenty-two years - the land of the Hanging Chads - but this is a first in politico-speak.

Wednesday, February 21, 2018

Digital Theft

As a long suffering Philadelphia sports fan, I was
heartened by the recent Super Bowl victory. We had long been pilloried from the outside - insulted by Howard Cosell from the broadcast booth and criticized for throwing snowballs at Santa Claus. So just as we were basking in the sunlight we read in the NY Times of "a man wearing a Phillies cap broke off and stole the thumb of a statue at the Franklin Institute of a terra cotta warrior made in China 2000 years ago". This didn't read well in Beijing and bringing shame throughout the neighborhood enclaves of Philly. So let's extend a collective middle finger to the dumb crumb who stole the thumb.


Monday, February 19, 2018

Lighter Than Air.

Yesterday, being a holiday, proved to be a slow news day. So much so that several reputable outlets reported on a flight from Dubai to Amsterdam that had to be diverted to Vienna as an altercation broke out over a passenger who allegedly "refused to stop passing gas". But isn't this why planes carry gas masks? Vienna may not have been the best choice as the offender could recharge on those spicy Austrian sausages. The reporter closed by saying "this was one flight that would not run out of gas."

Royal Spat

Prince Henrik of Denmark died last week. He was a native Frenchman married to Queen Margrethe II. For years he lobbied for the title of King Consort but was denied by the Queen. He asked to be a 'majesty' but was refused. Unhappy with the title of Prince, he considered it a mark of "gender inequality" so last summer he announced that he did not want to be buried beside his wife - which was unprecedented in six centuries. Rather he will be cremated with his ashes spread on Danish water and gardens. Forget the glass sarcophagus held by silver elephants - the Queen will have to go it alone. And this after fifty years of marriage.

Friday, February 16, 2018

Quote of the Week

A Florida parent of a child exposed to recent carnage at the Parkland high school was being interviewed. When he learned that the President was coming down to offer comfort he replied -I hope he doesn't bring the rolls of paper like in Puerto Rico. I am paraphrasing but the comment is SPOT ON! Please no Bounty!

Runner up: Scott Pruitt is the EPA administrator - and not a popular fellow. He insists he has to fly First Class because his experience in Coach has been contentious vis-a-vis other passengers. He calls it "politically toxic". Perhaps he likes those warm moist face cloths.

Thursday, February 15, 2018

Everyone's a Critic

Over the years many comic teams have made movies to box office success i.e. Abbott & Costello - Hope & Crosby - Laurel & Hardy. etc. But one team who crashed was Allen & Rossi who made their one and only film in 1966. The NY Times critic skewered them .."it was lacking in both wit & vitality."......and dismissed the film as a "vehicle made of plywood and cheesecloth". I'm sure it "frizzled" Marty Allen's frizzly hair. They did better on the Las Vegas circuit. His obit said he worked until age 94. His parting shot was "I work out every day. Just yesterday I was on the treadmill for an hour. Then some idiot turned it on." "Hello, dere!"