Body Shop

I visit a body shop not to tone the abs or create a six-pack - but to remove the scratches and dings from my 2008 Honda. They did nice work and only kept the car four days. I particularly liked the shop's motto "We met by accident." I love a talented guy with a sense of humor. References on request.
tjs

A Point of View

Sherlock Holmes invited Dr. Watson to go on a camping trip into the English countryside. After dark they settled into their sleeping bags in the quiet of their surroundings. At about 3 A.M. Holmes shook Watson awake and the exchange went thusly:
H - Watson, look up and tell me what you see!
W - I see a million bright stars, what do you see?
H - I see that someone has stolen our tent!

Elementary? It's all in your point of view.
tjs
Next - Vacation again. As the sign in the music store window read "Out to lunch - back at 1PM but Offenbach later."................

Sequestration

An observer witnessed two landscape workers doing the following: the first would dig a hole and the second would then fill it in and they would repeat this routine. When questioned why the first said "We used to be a three man team - I dug the hole, Jamie placed the tree in it and Charley then filled it in - but with sequestration Jamie lost his job and now it's only me and Charley."
tjs
Next - Some vacation.

Riding the Rails

A visionary billionaire is proposing a hypothetical transportation project to move people from San Francisco to Los Angeles in thirty minutes - or almost 800 miles per hour. His project is called the "Hyperloop." It might cause you to spill your coffee but would certainly put the bar car out of business. I harken back to the old days of romantic train travel and am reminded of the following story.... A four striper naval officer caught the last train out of San Francisco and was the last passenger to board. The conductor escorted him to his compartment only to find it was occupied by two matrons of a certain age - and the train was fully booked. The conductor was effusive with apologies when one of the women spoke up - "Don't worry - we are all mature adults and I'm sure we can work out some arrangement." The Navy man then said "Just a moment, madam - I am an officer of the United States Navy and a gentleman - the arrangement you are proposing is totally unacceptable - one of you must leave!" Couldn't do that in thirty minutes!
tjs
http://bits.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/08/12/elon-musk-unveils-plans-for-hyperloop-high-speed-train/?ref=todayspaper&_r=0

The Sport of Kings

This year marks the 150th anniversary of racing at Saratoga, that spa in upstate New York. That means they began in 1863 during the civil war. Stephen Foster had written his minstrel song "Camptown Races" circa 1850. The meet runs for about thirty days every August when the descendants of the Vanderbilts and Whitneys and just plain racing fans gather to take the "waters" and maybe get taken as on my one visit there I noticed that prices tripled in August. A feature of the meet is the thorobred yearling sale run by that venerable firm of Fasig - Tipton under a big tent. It is a very heady environment as I once attended one of their sales in New Jersey some fifty years ago.  The horseflesh is led into the ring by a groom in evening clothes. The young horses are identified by a number adhered to their "hip" which correlates to the number in the program which lists the breeding and bloodline of the animal. You don't dare scratch your ear or you could own a yearling - which at Saratoga average sale was $330,000. with some much higher. These sessions are open to the public, just keep your checkbook in your pocket and don't wave to a friend.
tjs
http://www.nytimes.com/2013/08/11/fashion/the-hamptons-on-the-hoof.html?ref=style

Humor in the Workplace

Jim R. was V.P. sales for U.S. Lines in New york and could always be depended upon to lighten our day. One evening he was out with a young salesman entertaining a VIP customer at dinner when he asked the waitress if they had any "cheap gin" - the poor salesman was mortified and the clients roared. By and by Jim was sent to London to become our "guv'nor" for all of Europe. The perks with the position included a car and driver and upon arrival he upgraded to a Bentley. The new management was tight with spending but try as they might the bean counters couldn't find the Bentley in any expense accounts. When Jim was home on leave he was challenged by the Chairman of the Board who said "we know you are hiding it somewhere, please tell us where?" Jim said "Look under medical expenses, I leased it from a doctor." Jim left us in 2010 but the memory lingers on.
tjs
(Reprinted from EagleBlue No. 34 May 19, 2006)

The Great Bull Run

A correspondent reminds me that the Great Bull Run inspired by the Pamplona, Spain  event is coming to the U.S.A. The first run with the bulls is set for August 24th in Richmond, Va, where 5000 people have put their bravado on the line. A run in Conyers, Ga. is scheduled for October and six other states later. They say politics isn't beanbag and this craziness sure isn't either - you can REALLY get hurt.  I doubt if Obamacare will cover you. And that's no bull!
tjs
Next - TBA

The A Team

Last Sunday the N.Y. Times did a two page spread with photos on a competitor - The Washington Post. The following day the Post was sold. Stunning in its timing. While we were preoccupied with the A Team - that's A-Rod and Al Quaeda - another A man from Amazon swooped in to collect the family jewels from the three generation dynasty that is/was WAPO. This type blockbuster isn't supposed to happen in August in D.C. when the under-achieving congress has gone home and the rest of us are trying to sneak away to Saratoga for the waters or to Martha's Vineyard with our Blackberry to pick blueberries. Even Nixon waited til October for his Halloween Massacre. Will this be the end of those cozy Georgetown dinners where friendships and deals are made? And what about the Boys of Watergate? The late Al Capp, the creator of Lil Abner of Dogpatch, Kentucky had a phrase "It's confusin but amusin!" Now it's "Amazin but it's Amazon." Stay tuned.
tjs
next - TBA
http://www.nytimes.com/2013/08/04/fashion/katharine-weymouth-takes-charge-at-the-washington-post.html?pagewanted=all&_r=0

Schooner TIKI Final Voyage

A few years went by and it became difficult to make ends meet in the headboat passenger trade. Captain Ted announced that he was considering carrying cargo inter-island. He knew I was in the steamship business and he inquired as to how much he could charge. That kind of trade was built on a handshake, a promise and your reputation. And you gained a reputation if you could transport liquor with a good outturn. The thought of carrying cargo in this majestic vessel brought tears to my eyes. Anyway , he found a merchant to entrust him with 200 cases of rum as a nucleus and he was in the cargo business. Mr friend Lou P. and I flew down to Antigua(Br.) and looked for him in the yachting area around Nelson's Dockyard but he had TIKI on the St. John side of the island at a working pier.
And along side were the 200 cases rum, four crates of refrigerators and some lumber to be lashed on deck. His young crew wrestled the spirits on board and stowed the cases in the passenger staterooms along with the refrigerators. Lou & I in adjacent staterooms could hear the cargo creaking as we made our way down to Monserrat and then on to Martinique(Fr.) where the officious Customs & Immigration inspector wearing his kepi style cap greeted us.  I knew that a repeat of this cargo operation would beat hell out of the boat. Then Ted announced that a prospective buyer was coming on board for the continuation of the voyage and we parted for our flight back to New York. As TIKI sailed out of Fort-de-France, Martinique  I never saw her again.
tjs
Next - TBA

Schooner TIKI (Part IV)

The Windward Islands - Another year - another voyage - this time "down Island" which required all night sailing - standing watches and keeping on course. Our destination was St. Lucia in the Windward Islands whose unmistakable landmark was the twin peaks of the Pitons which we could see from a distance during daylight. These mountains rose up from the ocean floor and it was hard to believe there was an anchorage there. As we came around the bend we found a sheltered lagoon with a neighbor already anchored there - the famous ketch TICONDEROGA.  With the turning basin narrow our captain dropped a bow anchor and tied the stern to a palm tree on the beach - a type of Mediterranean mooring.  This lush patch was famous as the site where the Dr. Dolittle movie -1967 British version starring Rex Harrison - was made and relics of same were left there.  Being at the wheel of a 90 foot schooner sailing down island has to be one of my greatest thrills made possible by the irrepressible Captain Ted Charles out of City Island in the Bronx.
tjs
(To be concluded)