Auld Lang Syne

When the Ball drops tonight in Times Square I think about Eves gone by as we seniors are prone to do. Before there was potty mouthed Kathy Griffin teamed with Anderson Cooper and before the ageless Dick Clark, there was a fellow named Ben Grauer, an erudite gentleman and a senior announcer for NBC. He worked alone - wore a black homburg felt hat and a stylish black overcoat and braved the outdoors during the 1960s. Later he worked with Guy Lombardo a New Year's Eve fixture. Both Grauer and Lombardo died in 1977 the same year that we lost Bing Crosby provoking the comment that both Christmas and New Year's were snuffed out together.  I will try to stay awake tonight to witness the festivities and wish all of you a healthy and happy 2015. BTW the Social Security granted a modest COLA for the coming year which every senior welcomes.
tjs

The Camels are Coming.

As a former habitue of the race track I couldn't let this one go by. Right now it is racing season in the United Arab Emirates i.e. Dubai and Abu Dhabi. This time it is camels - not horses. Since they outlawed child jockeys they have been replaced with small robots wearing owner's silks and sitting on metal saddles. The robots are equipped with light weight whips to urge on their mounts. The owners ride along side the track in their SUVS equipped with walkie-talkie so they can speak to their steeds via the robot. There is no pari-mutuel betting - just bragging rights and the winning mounts get a saffron bath. This is not the sport of kings - rather that of Emirs but I doubt it will sell at Saratoga or Belmont.
tjs
http://www.nytimes.com/2014/12/28/sports/camel-racing-in-the-united-arab-emirates-is-a-blend-of-centuries-old-traditions-and-modern-technology.html

Standing Room Only

Continuing underground this is a story about a fellow living on the upper East Side of Manhattan. He was changing the fluorescent bulbs in his studio and they were about six feet long. The building super said the trash men would not take such fragile items. He then recalled a construction dumpster near his downtown office and figured that might be a suitable disposal site. So the next morning he boarded the crowded subway with his white "pole" in hand. As there were no seats he stood holding the pole upright. As other passengers came aboard several grasped a hold on the "pole". By and by his station arrived and he quietly stepped off the train sans "pole". Cue the M.T.A. Lost and Found.
tjs
Christmas Greetings to all my readers - will see you in the New Year - 2015.

A Riddle on the Rails

An article in Sunday's N.Y. Times concerning the habits of some Manhattan subway riders recalled my experience on the M.T.A. system. In the late 1970s  I rode the Lexington Ave. Number 4 line daily between Grand Central and Bowling Green. These rides were mostly uneventful with a few panhandlers and musicians breaking the silence. One evening a fellow boarded the train feeling happy and asked one and all this riddle: "What has four legs and chases cats?" There was no reply. As he was about to exit the car he yelled out the answer "Mrs. Katz and her lawyer." He was so pleased with himself and we could hear him laughing all the way down the platform.
tjs

Exit Singing

The Colbert (the T is silent) Report (the T is not silent) had its grand finale last week and the host was joined by a cast of thousands in a sing-a-long at the end that was something to behold. His exit song was "We'll meet again" which was one of his favorites and also one of mine. It was made famous by Vera Lynn in England during WWII which helped Britain make it thru the war. Her rendition is available on YouTube and her lilting voice will take you back to that era.
tjs
http://www.lyricsfreak.com/v/vera+lynn/well+meet+again_20343933.html

The Four Letter Word

There are certain four letter words that one does not use in polite society or in a family BLOG. There are a few i.e. DOLE and GORE residing in the dustbin of time. But this past week headline writers received a "bonanza" - BUSH III - SONY - CUBA and the POPE. Short - concise - and loved by the tabloids POST and NEWS and cherished by tweeters. Recall the New York headline of long ago "DROP DEAD - PRES. FORD. The "fives" including Obama, Putin and Rubio will have to settle for page two for now.
 But stay tuned -  we may get an encore. As the old desk editor demanded of the rookie reporter -"Are there any NEWS?" To which he replied "No, there is no NEW."
tjs

Nuts to You!

Many of you are familiar with the imbroglio on the Korean Air Lines plane when a company executive who was also the owner's daughter threw a fit when she was served macadamia nuts in a bag rather than on a plate. She had the taxiing aircraft return to the gate and fired the chief steward. It has spurred concerns for safety and may result in flight suspensions. But sales of macadamia nuts took off and what was a five percent market has become over fifty percent. Koreans have discovered the nut which is native to Australia and Hawaii. This is what is meant by unintended consequences. If a shortage occurs watch the price rise. Uber calls that "surge pricing."
tjs

A Dairy Tale

Word out of Japan reports that they are encountering a shortage of "butter" and with the holiday baking season approaching they have resorted to rationing - no more than two packages per family. Several reasons given for their predicament include stressed out cows and aging farmers. Wow! A surefire combination for disaster. They will now have to resort to imports reluctantly. Which reminds me of our food rationing during WWII and my errands to the local butcher shop. After giving my order for ground beef and a few pork chops I quietly asked for a quarter pound of butter. The butcher was king back then and more concerned with counting the ration coupons than the money. If you were a female he might even squeeze your hand.
tjs

The Omnibus Bill

The HUGE Omnibus spending bill passed in the Senate last weekend had something for everyone in it. Just shows that pork still has a lot of fat on it.
-The sage grouse will NOT be considered as an endangered species.
-The E.P.A. will NOT control the lead content of fishing tackle. I always called them "dipsys" but this provision is a "doozy".
-Marijuana will NOT be legalized in the District of Columbia.
-And they instituted a freeze on Joe Biden's salary. In Bidenese this is a REALLY big ___ deal. Let's hope that Amtrak doesn't raise their fares.
Congress is now in recess and will see us in the New Year. And life goes on.
tjs

Dog Heaven

The headline read "Dogs in Heaven? Pope leaves Pearly Gate Open." To console a little boy whose dog had died the Pope said "paradise is open to all of God's creatures." So perhaps there is still a chance for our late Scottish Terrier, Bonnie Lass who departed this world ten years ago at age thirteen. The Vet who put her to sleep told us her ashes would be disposed of at sea whereupon a relative commented "My Bonnie lies over the ocean." Bonnie bonded to the family and snapped at everyone else so we have always thought she might be languishing in Purgatory. But now redemption may be at hand thanks to Pope Francis.
tjs

A Magical Date

Today, Saturday, December 13, 2014 has a particular significance to anyone contemplating marriage. In the western world the date will appear as 12-13-14 and such a numbering sequence will NEVER appear again for another 89 years. Accordingly, it was expected that there would be a "run" on weddings on that memorable date. If you received more than one invitation you will understand why.
tjs

Christmas Gift List

I read somewhere that if you ask Google the question "I want to buy?" - the third most popular item is a Drone. It didn't mention numbers 1 & 2 which presumably might be a Lamborghini or a McMansion. The FAA is currently wrestling with the issues of potential licensing, maximum altitudes and the difference between a toy/hobby and a commercial operation. I always knew that Big Brother was watching me but now he may be peeking thru the curtains. So if you see a flying object it may not be a bird - a plane or even Superman - it may be a Drone soaring lazily which reminds me that in my youth we always thought of drones as lazy.
tjs

The Forward Slash

It has become fashionable in certain circles to describe oneself as having more than one career - and to insert the "forward slash" i.e. / - as outlined in Sunday's NYTimes style section. This not necessarily because you need two jobs to pay the rent. Consider these combinations: Forensic Psychiatrist/D.J. - Lawyer/Actor/Producer - Life Coach/Writer/Singer - you get the idea. This takes multi-tasking to a new height. I wonder if I might get by with Blogger/Punster/Limericist but wouldn't want to wear out that "forward slash" on the keyboard.
tjs

Sunday Night Syndrome

A poet/teacher was quoted in the Sunday NYTimes "There's something very melancholy about Sunday evening, right? The week is starting; you feel a little agitated about what you have to do." When I first began working in Manhattan I was still living in Philadelphia and my commute included two trains plus a PATH tube and the reverse in the evening which meant rising at 0500 to face the day. Sunday afternoons were as the poet says - I called it "Sunday Night Syndrome." And the winters of 1976/1977 were particularly severe and the open train platforms were desolate. At North Philadelphia station in the evening we commuters would form a posse to advance en masse when the train's headlight appeared. Later in life I used to visit the port on Sunday afternoon to observe, touch and feel which gave me a leg up to hit the ground running on Monday morning. To each his own.
tjs

A Bridge Too Far

From the recent episode of "Bridgegate" we learned that the George Washington Bridge is the most busily traveled span in the country. Last week it was reported that the tolls will rise to $15. It was $11. six years ago and when I traveled it daily circa 1979 I seem to recall it was $5.00 - and that's "round trip". Although the Port Authority denies it, many commuters think these increases are assessed to offset overruns at the new W.T.C. construction. Moving north on the Hudson River we have the old Tappan Zee Bridge still charging $5.00 - and these monies go to Albany and not shared with the Port Authority as it spans two New York counties. The new replacement for Tappan Zee ready by 2017, alas, may also see a big increase. But the Staten Island Ferry is FREE! (But NO cars)
tjs

The Big Dipper

Most sports fans know that Wilt Chamberlain was a seven foot one inch basketball player who once scored 100 points in a game and this was before the three point goal was introduced. His high school team played my school for the Philadelphia City Championship and our coach set a table in front of the basket during practice with a player standing on top imitating the tall opponent. Now fifteen years after his death he is being honored by the U.S. Postal Service with a postage stamp of his likeness. In recognition of his height and stature the stamp is two inches "long". They are printing fifty million of these "forever" stamps and that's a lot of mucilage!
tjs
http://www.nytimes.com/2014/12/05/sports/basketball/wilt-chamberlain-the-stilt-postage-stamp-philadelphia-76ers.html?module=Search&mabReward=relbias%3Ar%2C{%221%22%3A%22RI%3A6%22}

Brain Drain

Back in the 1980s the University of Texas at Austin received an estimated 200 brains from a state mental hospital for storage  and presumably for later research. Recently they have discovered that 100 or half of the brains are missing and later announced that they were destroyed due to poor quality for research. This is not the type of "brain drain" we are accustomed to. (Sorry to end in a preposition.) But "Hook 'em Horns, anyway"!
tjs

Giddyup!

The Mayor of NYC is trying to rid the city of the carriage horse. The N.Y. Times Jim Dwyer reports that there are approximately 220 equines living in comfort in sprinkler equipped homes with regular veterinary examinations - and five weeks off in the country annually. Their vacations are spent at a sanctuary in Massachusetts whose owner describes these horses as "well adjusted and selected for their intelligence and their temperament." And these attributes come in handy when sharing space with taxi cabs, limos, Uber cars and jaywalkers. The proposed ban would NOT affect mounted police horses which speaks of some kind of class discrimination. The protest line forms on the left.
tjs

Slaking Your Thirst

Budweiser, that behemoth of brewed beverages, has suffered a loss in market share in recent years due to the proliferation and popularity of assorted craft beers eating into their profit margins. So much so that they are retiring the Clydesdales to the barn over the coming holidays and they will not appear again until the Super Bowl early February. Considering the variety of all these craft beers a pundit remarked that there is no better time in all of history to be a drinker! So Skoal, L'Chaim and Slainte!
tjs