Potpourri 2016 -III

Denmark's approach to receiving Middle-eastern immigrants is to relieve them of their valuables to pay for their future lodging. They have kindly agreed to exempt wedding rings and other mementos.

Kiev, Ukraine: A veteran of the recent skirmish with Russia has opened a pizzeria and is hiring only veterans of that exercise. He is offering them jobs while Trump offers only promises.

In the realm of political correctness Amherst University is doing away with their unofficial mascot Lord Jeff (Amherst) due to his eighteenth century abuse of native American Indians. But the Washington Redskins have not followed suit.
The president of Iran is visiting France and Italy in the wake of sanction easing. In Rome they have covered all the nude statues to avoid offending him.
tjs

Primarily Political VI

Quotes of the week:
-I could stand in the middle of Fifth Avenue and shoot somebody and I wouldn't lose votes. (Donald J. Trump)
-"What do you want me to do - bring a mop?" (Chris Christi to a Jersey flooded community.)

There is a GOP debate tonight - with or without Trump. If he boycotts I hope they place an empty podium on the stage similar to Clint Eastwood's empty chair at the 2012 GOP convention.

(P.S. - If you are traveling in Manhattan I would avoid Fifth Avenue  - suggest Madison or Sixth.)
tjs

Behold the Gerrymander

Elbridge Gerry was James Madison's vice-president but also had been governor of Massachusetts when he approved a legislative map including an irregularly shaped district drawn to benefit his party. A cartoon of the time observed that the map resembled a salamander. After which a local editor remarked "Better say a gerry-mander" and the term was coined. The practice has created so many safe "seats" that of 435 in Congress some estimate that only 15 are in play which has contributed to the gridlock in Washington which cannot be addressed until after the 2020 census. But don't hold your breath.
tjs

Cabin Fever

Being snowbound and fighting off cabin fever there is a tendency to seek solace with a few friendly spirits:
-An Iowan editor with a Labrador puppy named Margaux said "We name all our dogs after wines we can't afford."
-Bing Crosby used to say he was going to Nashville to visit Jack Daniels grave.
-I had a friend who drank cheap rye because he liked its lumps.
-My late friend, Cletus K., told me he liked restaurant X because their martinis were so dry that in the mens' room instead of urinals they had dustpans. That's pretty dry.
-And all this shall pass.
tjs

Primarily Political V

Donald Trump is again extolling the merits of the Bible by quoting from St. Paul's second letter to the Corinthians. But this is not the first time that Paul was invoked in campaign dialogue. In the 1952 (D) race Adlai Stephenson was addressing a Baptist audience in Texas. The presider announced that the renowned Dr. Norman Vincent Peale had advised his followers to vote for your opponent. Stephenson is said to have replied "I find Paul appealing and Peale appalling." Stephenson was a brilliant man but he was up against Ike twice.
tjs

The Cold War

Our apartment building - two story brick - was built circa 1950s with solid concrete walls and ceilings. A former neighbor who grew up in the building reminded me that at one time it was designated as an Air Raid Shelter with drums of supplies stored in the basement. And sure enough as I recently wandered down a passageway I saw a sign on the wall reading "fallout shelter" with the black & yellow triangles still affixed as a reminder of how things were during those days.
tjs

Primarily Political IV

As an armchair observer of the political process of primaries in an all too long presidential campaign, I am always amazed at the importance granted to Iowa and New Hampshire, each state representing only one percent of the total delegates (2472). A cross section of state delegates looks like the following:
California......172
Texas.............155
Florida............99
New York.......95
Pennsylvania..71
Illinois............69
Iowa...............30
New Hampshire 23

To add spice to the mix some states are "winner take all" and others are "proportional" so stay tuned after Super Tuesday March 1st as we could have a contested GOP convention in Cleveland in July.
tjs

New York Values

Having worked in downtown Manhattan for four years in the late 1970s no doubt some of New York rubbed off on me. But ya gotta keep your sense of humor.

Last week there was an obit for Stanley Siegel who had a radio show in New York circa 1970s. He was once quoted "It's so much better to be a neurotic in New York than in Nashville. There they liked me but they didn't understand me. Here they like me and understand me." It's those values!

Then there was that earlier visitor, Nikita S. Khrushchev reflecting on his visits to the city: "There is no greenery. It is enough to make a stone sad." Someone should have taken him to Central Park - after he put his shoes back on.
tjs

Potpourri 2016-II

Such irony! As the Dow Jones was hemorrhaging last Friday, it was the American Red Cross ringing the final bell. And they didn't even offer a band-aid!

Headline Moscow: New prison rule in Russia "NO SWEARING!" Detainees will be banned either addressing one another or their guards in the traditional, foulmouthed slang of the Russian prison system. Too bad we didn't have such a rule on our waterfront where I heard a few choice words.
Dateline London: A group of aging thieves pulled off a twenty million dollar heist from a safe deposit bank in London aided by the book "Forensics for Dummies" and diamond tipped drills. And they did it over several days. But their bragging at the local pub did them in. You can't make this stuff up.
tjs

Cue the Pastry Chef

It has long been an accepted practice when you bring wine to a BYOB establishment that you pay a fee called "corkage" for the pouring, glassware, etc. Now I read of a new term called "cakeage" which is a charge assessed when you bring your own birthday cake into an upscale restaurant which may have a pastry chef on staff. Some such chefs may refuse to serve your commercial "sweet" as not wanting other patrons to think that it came from his kitchen. But most owners will accommodate your wishes as they are in the hospitality business. But better call ahead to seek permission to avoid embarrassment. So you can have your cake and eat it too.
tjs

Re-open Sesame!

After forty-five years on PBS, Sesame Street will re-debut on HBO on Valentine's Day with an upscale version of the show. Elmo has moved from an apartment to a brownstone, Oscar the Grouch has upgraded from a trash can to a recycling bin and Big Bird has moved into a tree. This is a far cry from 1970 in the Bronx. Some are debating what effect this upscale theme will have on pre-schoolers' expectations. But the initial theme will be "caring" which seems appropriate for Valentine's Day.
tjs

Potpourri 2016 I

Did you know?

-181,000 drones have been registered with the FAA during the first three weeks of January. We can expect the skies to be crowded now.
-The NY Times sports department - in an effort to be an equal opportunity provider - this week reported the results of the Snooker championships in London. That's snooker as a game - not a verb.

- Britain's young Prince George has been enrolled in a Montessori kindergarden. Our son had three years of Montessori and we recommend it for any family that can afford it.
-Ringling Bros. are retiring all their elephants to a conservation area in Florida in May two years early. The Big Top will never be the same.
tjs

Austerity at the Tap

Public Health officials in Britain are cautioning Britons of both sexes to limit their alcoholic intake to 14 units of alcohol per week - this is equivalent of seven glasses of wine, six pints of beer OR half a bottle of whiskey. This in a country where drinking is approached with "the zeal of a national sport." I recalled the late comedian Joe. E. Lewis who when suffering a case of the D.T.s was being interviewed by a rehab admittance doctor. When asked how much do you drink per day, one ounce, two ounces, a pint? Joe replied "A pint? Doc, I spill that much!" My maxim is everything in moderation.
tjs

Hay is for Horses

Some parties in upstate New York horse country have been stealing bales of hay. It has been estimated that over 3000 bales have been pilfered in three years to the tune of $30,000. The average horse consumes about 150 bales per year. And in times of drought or inclement weather hay prices can soar. At the other end of the food chain I recalled the late Bill Veeck's book entitled "Thirty tons per day" which represented the amount of manure produced at his Suffolk Downs Race Track.
tjs

The Sounds of Silence II

This is for all you holdouts still clinging to your land lines. The first modern bath tub was put on the market in 1842 in Cincinnati, Ohio. Alexander Graham Bell patented his telephone invention in 1876. So if you took a bath in 1842 you could soak undisturbed by the telephone for thirty-four years. But you might look and feel like a prune.
tjs

The Sounds of Silence

This popular song by Paul Simon high on the charts in 1966 included the line "the words of the prophets are written on the subway walls" and this was mentioned in the NYTimes this week. Back then service on the "underground" was not perfect which prompted a graffiti artist to borrow and adapt the Latin phrase "Gloria Mundi is sic of transit" - a prophet with a sense of humor which we all need to survive urban life.
tjs

Political Correctness

There was a time when candidates' children were shielded from the glare of the campaign. You never saw Amy Carter on camera. But it seems that times have changed. Cruz has his young daughters in a campaign TV ad. Trump's adult daughter is socially friendly with Clinton's daughter despite their respective parents sparring. And Christi was musing about a possible conversation with his daughter about college tuition. So I have coined a phrase "Doters' Daughters".
tjs

Holiday Weekend

I have a confession to make. During the holiday weekend I was persuaded to view the new Star Wars motion picture extravaganza wherein one of the heroes is a robot. Presumably we will hear plenty from this offering at Oscar time with their special effects and costumes. And on the heels of this dazzling creation there came Downton Abbey once again to jar one back to the twentieth century. As for Star Wars I recall the analogy with the Manhattan phone directory "Not much plot but what a cast!"
tjs

Cue the Statistician

They say that crime is down in New York City but two police commissioners differ on what constitutes a "shooting". Apparently the bullet has to actually "hit" you - a near miss is NOT a shooting! Last week a professional athlete had his Uber ambushed at 4:30AM - the thieves took his iphone, wallet and metal chains and then took his gold teeth caps before shooting him in the leg. A "combination" crime that will be a field day for those statisticians. And a kind of kick in the teeth besides.
tjs

O Dem Golden Slippers

Oh, to be in Philadelphia on New Year's Day to witness the parade of string bands down Broad Street as they have done since 1901. Facebook described it as a "folk festival" which would not sit well with the natives. The real parades take place later in the day when the bands return to their respective neighborhoods i.e. Two Street in South Philadelphia where if you were lucky the band might serenade you outside your home with a chant that might sound something like - "Here we stand before your door - just like we did the year before - if you don't have whiskey give us gin - open the door and let us in." Happy New Year.
tjs