Mad Men

In the era of Mad Men, Madison Avenue was saturated with advertising agencies. One such had as a client a Japanese auto manufacturer. One Friday afternoon as Happy Hour beckoned they received an urgent message from Tokyo and the CEO called his creative staff to a meeting. It seemed the client had designed a new model and they wanted a "name" for it  - and they wanted it by Monday morning Tokyo time. A voice from the rear called out "DATSUN?".......Happy New Year!
tjs

I'm The Greatest!

The caption is a quote (repeated often) by Muhammad Ali who left us in 2016 at age 74 after battling Parkinsons Disease and various pugilists in the boxing ring. He was a colorful and controversial athlete. He was also a poet spouting "float like a butterfly - sting like a bee!" Some years ago a friend was in Manhattan for March Madness and was lobby hopping and encountered Ali in his hotel lobby. Ali was housed in the penthouse and my friend squeezed on the elevator with him to witness a constant line of patter from the champ. After reaching penthouse level my friend begged Ali to ride down again and keep the moment alive. Said the champ "Brother, when I reach the top I ain't never going down again."
tjs

The Twelve Days

You know that inflation is under control when the cost of sending twelve days of gifts to your true love is only 1% higher than a year ago i.e. $44,002 including shipping. It seems that partridges became plentiful but there was a shortage of turtle doves. There was no change in the prices of swans, calling birds, geese or French hens. But pipers and drummers got an increase  - they must have been in the union. Lords are still leaping if they are not sleeping in the back benches of Parliament. Twelve days later you will get the bill and it will certainly be an Epiphany!
tjs
http://www.nytimes.com/2016/12/22/business/economy/cost-12-days-christmas.html

Pole Dancing

When I worked in NYC in the late 1970s I rode the Lexington Ave. subway and the only quadripeds I shared a ride with were mostly comfort dogs for the afflicted. But recently on a 3AM ride into Queens on the N line there was witnessed a rat climbing up and down a pole doing a "pole dance" - this was copied on video by a brave fellow passenger. But to allay your concern I have been assured that the new extension of the Second Avenue subway, soon to open on 1/1/2017, is currently rat free, at least until the first passengers arrive.
tjs
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wYUBo2FnRr8&app=desktop

O, Canada!

Montreal is celebrating its 375th anniversary and some folks had an idea to have a Christmas tree taller than that at Rockefeller Center which their research told them the average height was 74 feet. So they duly found a 78 footer in Ontario that was amazing. But in November they learned that the 2016 tree in Manhattan would be a 94 foot Norway spruce. Undeterred they scrambled to find a balsam fir in Quebec but on arrival it only measured 88 feet, was slightly misshapen and had a flat top. A tree only Charlie Brown could love. But the citizens are coming around to appreciate this "naughty fir". And the Rockefeller tree is gorgeous.
tjs
http://www.nytimes.com/2016/12/16/world/canada/in-montreal-an-ungainly-and-unloved-christmas-tree.html?src=me&_r=0

On Dasher, On Dancer etc

Arctic reindeer are getting smaller due to climate change having lost 12% of their body weight over a sixteen year period. Because there is more rain than snow their lichen food gets encased in ice. They will need more than Rudolph to help pull Santa's sleigh. Climate change deniers take note.
P.S. Can you name all eight of Santa's deer?
tjs

Christmas in Catalonia

Please excuse the indelicate material appearing in the press during the Christmas season. But the Spaniards in Catalonia (think Barcelona) have a peculiar practice of depicting Christmas figurines in a squatting or crouching position. They are called "caganers" which translates to "poopers" and they are placed among the characters in a Nativity scene. They say it is an irreverent tradition harking back to a time when human waste was used to fertilize the fields. Just wanted to clarify that the aroma emanating from the stable scene may not come from the animals.
tjs
http://www.nytimes.com/2016/12/05/world/what-in-the-world/caught-with-your-pants-down-must-be-christmas-in-catalonia.html?src=me&_r=0

Cue the Librarian

Most presidents when leaving office usually deposit their books and papers in a presidential library often attached to a university for research by scholars and historians. While Donald Trump has not yet been in office it may be unfair to ask "Can you have a library when there are no books?"
He could set it up at the ephemeral Trump University but I think the logical choice would be a nook off the lobby of Trump Tower where a few shelves might contain the following:
- A Gideon Bible  - a copy of The Art of the Deal, Midas Touch and Time to get Tough and a Treasure Trove of Twitter Tapes. (I do love alliteration) - believe me!
tjs

Primarily Political XXIII

The other night the President-elect introduced his incoming Sec. of Defense, General James Mattis a four star Marine officer. They say the General is well read - which his boss is not - and that he even quotes Plato. The only association Trump might have would be his frequency at Plato's Retreat a swingers club in NYC circa 1970/1980.

A few weeks ago President Obama made his 23rd visit to Walter Reed Medical Center at Bethesda Naval Hospital to visit our injured veterans. This was while Trump was planning his victory lap. What a contrast!

As to the incoming Prez. I can only paraphrase Donald Rumsfeld: "He doesn't know what he doesn't know."
tjs

A Wall Too Tall

We know about Trump's two golf courses in Scotland but he also purchased one in Ireland on the west coast in Doonbeg in County Clare. To keep the Atlantic Ocean at bay they want to build a wall but local environmentalists are protesting its effect on the dunes and the habitat of the whorl snail. The developers are in a hurry so they have revised their plans to include shorter barriers. The headline reads "The snail prevailed"! or you might say "Escargot -go - go".
tjs
http://www.nytimes.com/2016/12/07/business/international/britain-ireland-trump-golf-snail.html?ref=world

Lest We Forget

Today, December 7th, is the 75th anniversary of the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor. I was twelve years old when we heard the news on a Sunday afternoon but none of us knew where Pearl Harbor was. We quickly found out. Panic ensued on the west coast and blackouts were instituted from Seattle south. Back home mobilization commenced and Chrysler quickly converted from autos to Jeeps and tanks. There were scrap metal collections, ration books, Savings Bond drives and consumer shortages in a full wartime effort. Twenty years later when visiting Honolulu I took the tour boat to  the USS ARIZONA memorial where many of our sailors are entombed. The vessel cut engines and the silence was deafening. Back then they collected our cameras before entering as this was still an active naval base. I shall always remember that day.
tjs

Give Me Liberty

During the recent political "season" I learned a new word. No, I don't mean Alt-right - the slurred word is "biglig" - and now I read where Jerry Falwell of the Christian Liberty University wants to go "big league" and make his football team a power house. To do so he has hired as athletic director a man who recently departed Baylor U. under a cloud of scandal. What caught my eye was Falwell's statement: "He is a good man who found himself in a place where bad things were happening and decided to leave." And who will throw the first stone?
tjs
http://www.nytimes.com/2016/12/03/sports/ncaafootball/baylor-liberty-university-sexual-assaults.html?rref=collection%2Fsectioncollection%2Fsports&action=click&contentCollection=sports&region=rank&module=package&version=highlights&contentPlacement=2&pgtype=sectionfront&_r=0

A Sterling Development

Anglophiles Alert! You thought Brexit was a surprise! Now the Bank of England has revealed that the new five pound note (having printed 440 million to date bearing the Queen's likeness) contains a small amount of tallow in the polymers used in the printing process. Tallow is a fatty substance usually made from rendered beef. So now the vegans  and vegetarians are outraged and want their "pound" of non-flesh. There are also 800,000 Hindus in the U.K. who consider cows sacred. They might have to trek to Scotland whose five pound note is free of animal products. The sentiment seems to be anti "Quid" and not "pro"!
tjs
http://www.nytimes.com/2016/11/30/world/europe/new-five-pound-note-uk-vegetarians.html?ref=world

Ghostwriters in the Sky

Attention! Grammarians!
Donald Trump, in announcing his forthcoming press conference about divesting his properties, used a triple tweet (140 x 3) and not a word misspelled for a guy who types with his thumbs. At his conclusion he used the word "hence" which I didn't think he had in his lexicon. Of course, I didn't expect him to say "ergo" - more likely "so".
It all leads me to suspect he is not writing all these lengthy messages but has a ghostwriter lurking somewhere up in that tower.
tjs