Can you top this?

At the recent G7 meeting in Taormina our POTUS made a reference to "Justin from Canada". Some readers thought he was referring to Justin Bieber, but "not true tho." I thought perhaps he said "Just in from Canada", which would mean he had visited our neighbor up north where there is no wall. It was also reported that at the same meeting GSixers went for a stroll in the garden with old number seven following in a golf cart. That has to be fake news - or is it.  Or as the little boy said to his disgraced baseball idol "Say it isn't so, Joe."
tjs

A State of Mind.

Dr. Ben Carson, the brain wizard now in charge of our housing was recently quoted saying "poverty is just a state of mind." Not to be confused with Billy Joel's "New York State of Mind." I grew up during the great depression - my friends fathers were out of work - their mothers took in laundry. They were just above the poverty level. Perhaps the good doctor should concentrate on the "brain" and we will pay him no "mind."
tjs

The Robots are coming.......

Several inventive minds are promising to bring laundry folding robots to the home market by end 2017.  The Japanese model is the size of a small refrigerator and retails for $16,000 as of now but expect to bring cost down to $2000. Every laundress' dream. Whirlpool is also tinkering which could put the Maytag Man on the sideline. Another dreamer has a laundry hamper that automatically washes clothes when full. These entrepreneurs are attracting big money from backers. The Japanese inventor doesn't sleep much as he also has on the market a tube that slides up the nose to stop snoring. This should keep a lot of
 marriages intact.
tjs
https://www.nytimes.com/2017/05/24/business/entrepreneurship-laundroid-self-folding-laundry-machine.html?src=me&_r=0

A Ford in Your Future

Ford Motor has just made a management change at the top. The new fellow spent twenty years in steel office furniture so he is  now switching to aluminum. He then dabbled in college athletics going from quarterback to hatchback. But the aim now is the driverless auto. I have wondered if/when such a vehicle should ever cut me off, to whom do I offer the finger. A century ago old Henry Ford said you can have any color you want as long as it's black.
tjs

I Dig You!

Recently I posted my fear that the rise in ocean levels might begin lapping at the shores of Mar A Lago Resort in Palm Springs,Fl. Now we read in Palm Beach news outlets that a four foot by four foot sinkhole has appeared at the entrance to the resort which closed after Mothers Day. Now, the Chinese president flew in to Mar a Lago recently so his people really didn't have to dig that hole from the opposite side of the globe. Better check those bunkers and sand traps around his Bedminister N.J. course where he will be teeing off this summer. Whom can you trust?
tjs

Dinah Shore

When some Philadelphians vacate to the Jersey beaches we sometimes say we are "goin' Dinah Shore". As a child I was exposed to Sea Isle City in a third floor walkup, as a youth I graduated to Ocean City and later in life to Cape May where Henry Clay was reported to have frolicked on the sand. A recent trip down the Garden State Parkway revealed an exit sign reading "4 A - formerly 4 B" - I kept looking for 2 B - not 2 B. But I am indebted to Chris Christi for eliminating those three red lights that were impeding our race for the happy hour.
tjs

Comedy Central

Just read where Conan O'Brien is being sued in U.S. District Court for stealing jokes from a freelance blogger. This is an eyebrow raiser considering he has a roomful of writers trading wits with each other. Milton Berle used to brag about stealing jokes from other comedians but that was in bygone days and Uncle Miltie was a veteran of vaudeville and shameless about the issue. Bob Hope used to kid about it but this was all before we became a litigious society.
tjs

Follow the Money

An obscure section of the U.S. Treasury Department is their Financial Crimes Enforcement Network. They are a treasure trove of data for law enforcement agencies. The NYTimes article reads "The little known bureau, which operates out of a "toilet bowl" shaped building in the suburbs of Washington, serves as the financial intelligence network of the U.S.A." But they assure us that their paper chase activity involves Euros, Rubles and Greenbacks and not Scott tissue. They seem to be flushed with all types of data. Who knew?
tjs

Roman Holiday

Frank Bruni writes that the Roman Colosseum is being spruced up. I can't believe they are bringing back the gladiators - which recalls that famous headline "Lions 7 - Christians 0". They are also scrubbing the Spanish Steps and cleaning up the Trevi Fountain - all thru donations from merchants as Bulgari and Fendi. All this for the tourists but the city is not collecting the trash. And you know the furor in Manhattan when Mayor Lindsay did not pick up the trash. That new Roman mayor could end up in the gladiator pit with a thumbs down verdict.
tjs

Horsing Around

During Derby weekend the NY Times published an article on how thoroughbred and other sporting equines travel. They all are pampered and travel in style and the point is to avoid any stress. Some star horses fly with an entourage - AMERICAN PHAROAH travels with his lead pony next to him. I was surprised to learn that a four man polo team could travel with thirty to forty horses. In loading trailers they avoid putting hormonally charged colts and fillies too close together. "Fillies have to be loaded on the back of the bus so the colts don't catch wind of them. Otherwise you can have fireworks. Shipping horses is not like shipping cabbages or toilet paper." Little did we know.
tjs

Derby Aftermath

The one eyed horse PATCH was assigned post position twenty on the far outside. That combined with the muddy track and PATCH was no match for those conditions.

THUNDER SNOW was flown in from Dubai just for the Derby. He stumbled out of the gate and walked back to his barn. A long flight for a short walk.

The winning horse ALWAYS DREAMING is owned by a billionaire Wall Street trader. He allowed  his jockey to wear tights embazoned with an ad for a steak house. I hope he changes his pants before they get to Saratoga in August otherwise the Vanderbilts and Whitneys will be aghast. (And I doubt that Andy Rooney would approve either.)
tjs

Compassionate Conservative

Dr. Ben Carson, Secretary of HUD, toured facilities for the poor in Ohio. This time he did not get stuck in an elevator. His gritty childhood in Detroit has colored his attitude toward these folks.
"Compassion means not giving people a comfortable setting that would make somebody want to say 'I'll just stay here.  They will take care of me'. And certainly no television sets for the homeless shelters. The Doctor is the Trump Administration's point man on alleviating poverty.
Rather a chilling thought but don't let it spoil your weekend.
tjs

The Oracle

This Saturday, May 6th, thousands of people will be descending on a mid-Western city. No, I don't mean Louisville, Kentucky. The crowd is headed for Omaha, Nebraska, where Warren Buffett, age 86, the Oracle of Omaha will be holding forth with his annual message to stockholders of Berkshire Hathaway. They sit on every word he utters and he covers a broad range of subjects. He will surely be questioned about his investment in Wells Fargo who have suffered a/c banking misadventures. Given his age he will be pressed to identify a successor. We all look forward to his sage comments.
tjs

Mint Julep Day

While Friday is Cinco de Mayo Day, Saturday May 6th will mark the 143rd running of the Kentucky Derby in Louisville. There are twenty horses entered which makes for a stampede to the first turn. A sentimental choice might be a one eyed thorobred named PATCH - but he doesn't wear an eyepatch. And, no, the Derby is not a handicap race. I always enjoy the parade to the post to the strains of Stephen Foster's "Old Kentucky Home" and let's hope PATCH doesn't get scratched.  And don't let them dilute your mint julep.
tjs

Not Guilty!

At my advanced age I can be excused for reading the obituaries but the following raised eyebrows. A hot shot Texas lawyer cut his teeth on capital punishment cases, his specialty being referred to as "Smith & Wesson divorces" in which wives solved their marital problems by killing their husbands. "I won all but two of those cases and I would have won them too if my clients hadn't kept reloading their gun and firing. He died at 90 of natural causes - no gunshot wounds noticed.
tjs

The Curse of O'Hare

As if United Airlines didn't have enough trouble right now we read where a Continental Giant rabbit named Simon died during a flight from Heathrow, London to Chicago. He was only ten months old and could grow to four feet long. The veterinary checkup before departure indicated that Simon was "fit as a fiddle" but he may have hit a few sour notes down in the cargo hold of a 767.
I was recently reminded of U.S. Lines experience carrying cattle to Germany in the 1950s. If we lost a calf in transit we had to save an ear to prove we earned our freight. I hope poor Simon didn't have to suffer that fate.
tjs