Frigidity

"Noses are red, I'm feeling blue!" It's three degrees in Chilly Philly. I thought the third degree was confined to prisoners. Exit January - the cruel month. There's ice in the birdbath, mother. So, cover up, even though that may be worse than the crime. Anxiously awaiting the Groundhog's verdict. Stay tuned - stay warm - stay safe.
tjs

Recomposition

Dateline Seattle, Wash.. - A bill before the Washington State Legislature would make this state the first in the nation to allow human remains to be disposed of and reduced to soil through composting. Funeral directors are cringing. Death certificates do not have a "box" for this. Pete Seeger, the folk singer, crooned about the idea: "If I should die before I wake, all my bone and sinew take. Put them in the compost pile to decompose a little while. When radishes and corn you munch you may be having me for lunch." (Sounds like Ogden Nash). The folks in the Pacific Northwest march to a different drumbeat  - but if you're moving there, be aware!
tjs
NYT 1/27/19

Double Play

Baseball fans of a certain age will recall the double play combo - Tinker to Evers to Chance. A later Cubs trio was Baker, Banks and Bilko. Now we read that the senior White House negotiating team is comprised of Kushner, Mulvaney and Pence. It reads like a second tier law firm. And this is their "A" team? Jared is half Pelosi's age and she may have to spank him. And Pence won't meet with her without his wife present. To paraphrase James Comey, "Lordy, Lordy!"
tjs

Whom do you Trust?

The Supreme Court has declined to accept the case for the DACA children this term but they have agreed to decide a case on vulgarity. A clothing line is seeking a trademark "FUCT" allegedly standing for "Friends You Can't Trust." The Trademark Bureau declined and now it is a First Amendment issue. In 1964 Justice Potter Stewart was quoted "I know pornography when I see it" - after viewing several reels! Too bad Antonin Scalia isn't around for this dissertation. Some are calling this vulgar term the "phonetic twin." Stay tuned all you SCOTUS followers.
tjs
NYT 1/22/19

Quotes of the week

The great thing about America used to be that anyone could grow up to become President. Now you don't even have to grow up. - Brent Kigner

The Speaker of the British House of Commons is a colorful character whose voice is described as "that undrownoutable voice, something like an air-raid siren with postnasal drip."

"My father was a builder of bridges, not walls." Son of MLK Jr

All is not rosy at the World Court in The Hague - a retiring administrator said "If I could collect the knives put in my back over those reforms, I could open a restaurant."

Two days after flipping his Land Rover, Prince Philip of Britain, age 97, was seen driving a second "Rover" - without a seat belt!  He's giving us old folks a bad name.
tjs

Commuting Delays

Manhattan riders are not the only ones suffering thru transit delays.  A lady commuter in Bavaria had a forty minute ride to Munich which with track repairs switched her to a bus and a two hour ride. When returning home, instead of kicking the dog, she began to knit a striped, colored scarf varying on the length of delay that day. At the end of 2018 she had a four foot long beauty, auctioned for 7550 Euros which went to a charity assisting people at train stations. Knit one, purl two!
tjs
NYT 1/17/19

Elementary

Sherlock Holmes & Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. At sundown they paused to rig their tent and crawl into their sleeping bags. Around three A.M. Holmes awakened and shook his friend. "Look up - what do you see?" The Doctor said I see a constellation of stars. Holmes said "Somebody stole our tent!" Elementary, my dear Watson.
tjs

The Friars Club

The Friars Club is in the news  - this group founded in 1904 by vaudevillians who were shunned by the elite clubs of the time i.e. The Players and the Lambs. It was a hangout for Milton Berle, Jack Benny et al and the home of celebrity roasts. The old gag defines the differences: "The Players are gentlemen pretending to be actors. The Lambs are actors pretending to be gentlemen. And the Friars are neither trying to be both."
tjs
NYT 1/9/19

A Whale's Tale

The NYT did a lengthy article on the Humpback Whale and their ability to sing songs. But only the males do the singing and can change tunes when a rival appears. Juveniles may hum jingles altogether different from the adults. It's a fascinating story but in this year of the woman its curious that the females remain silent.
tjs
NYT 1/8/19

FORE!

NYT reported that Malaysia's king has resigned becoming the first monarch to abdicate in the country's history. His duties were primarily ceremonial so we haven't heard much about this fellow. One of the most notorious "royals" was King Mahmood of Johor who was accused in the 1980s of fatally beating a golf caddy who had laughed at his putt. (The instrument of death was probably a "mashie"). I always found my caddys to be intimidating and while not laughing out loud they probably were discreetly snickering at my game. Coincidentally, in the same edition of NYT there was a crossword clue "played on the green" - I was afraid to answer "putted" as I feared the laughter from the gallery or the Sultan's revenge.
tjs

Quotes of the Week

"O Lord, make my enemies ridiculous" - Voltaire

"Thanks - a - latte!" - by our Postman for Christmas gift. (A government employee working without pay hasn't lost his sense of humor.

"The gavel makes a big difference" -Nancy Pelosi
tjs

Get the Point?

The game of Darts has moved out of the smokey bars & pubs into the world of TV. There is a certain protocol involved i.e. no over-celebrating, etc. but this is not the only offense frowned upon.
One world champion was accused last month of passing gas so pungent it threw an opponent off his game - an offense dubbed "fartgate". But the offender turned the blame on his opponent proclaiming "he who smelt it - dealt it". And they assured us the "game" had graduated out of the smoky pubs. What were they serving as bar food?
tjs
(NYT 12/29/18)