Personal Profiles

 Cletus K. was a colleague of mine back in Philly. When he was a senior at Georgetown his father asked him what he wanted to do with his life. Cletus said he would like to join the "firm" - the firm was counsel to United States Lines. Dad said " I have an immpecable reputation in the industry, I suggest you try another endeavor." So Cletus bounced around eventually joining the U.S. Air Force where he piloted  multie engine aircraft ferrying notables around the globe - including Sec. of State Jimmie Byrnes. On one flight Byrnes rushed to the cockpit complaining of the "odor". Cletus said we are flying over Calcutta - it will dissipate soon. By and by Cletus became USLines rep in Pittsburgh - a corporate town with not much freight. At the same time our Phila. guy was being kicked upstairs to New York and it was decided to give him a farewell dinner and we invited sixty heavyweights of the Port of Phila. to assemble in the upper room of Old Original Bookbinders a waterfront landmark and as Cletus was replacing the departing guest, he was thrown in to this strange crowd. I was on the mic and had no bio for Cletus and as I introduced him his opening line was "I have heard a lot about Old Bookbinders - I understand that in the bar their martinis are so dry that in the mens room instead of urinals they have dustpans." The room erupted and Cletus had made his bones in Phila.

Profiles in Sports

 Lee Trevino was a Tex/Mex golfer who played with the best.  He lived in Texas and one day in the noon day heat he was mowing his lawn and sweating profusely thru his tee shirt when a limousine pulled up to the curb and a woman beckoned him over. She asked him what he charged for landscaping. He said "Well, it's like this - I have an arrangement with the lady of the house - I mow the lawn and she let's me sleep with her." The window went up and the limo pulled away. Fore!