A Fair Way

When Covid 19 arrived in New York, those who could, fled the city, with the wealthiest heading to Eastern Long Island. The membership at East Hampton Golf Club runs to $400 thousand but with the shortage of caddies, some members are using robot caddies on wheels which follow them from tee to green. They remain silent but think if those personal assistants (i.e. Alexa or Siri) were on board...........
"Alexa, did you see where my ball went?"
'It went left, you hooked it'
"Siri, hand me my six iron"
'I think you need a five, sir'
"Alexa, what's my distance to the hole?"
'Never mind, you can't reach it'
That would make the game interesting.
tjs

A Coughin' Fit

The Covid virus is overwhelming the Undertakers and surviving family members are being surprised by the burial costs. The FTC is being urged to make "on line" pricing mandatory. The median cost for full burial in 2019 was $7640. A Minister in Kentucky describes how she helped a young man save $3000. by directing him to Costco to buy a coffin for his deceased mother. Who would have thought? As the saying goes "It isn't the cough that carries you off, it's the coffin they carry you off in."
tjs
(NYT 6/13/20)

The Sporting Life

Sports are slowly returning in Britain. Among them was pigeon racing with a  4000 bird race underway. (Lookout Tippi Hendren). Horse racing, dog racing and  "snooker" also started up. There was no mention of "darts" which every pub crawler thirsts for. The jockeys all wore masks ala the Lone Ranger. Soccer (futball) soon to follow.
On the home front Belmont Park is racing again. But the Belmont Stakes was postponed until June 20th and was reduced to ten furlongs from twelve which will necessitate an asterisk * for years to come.
tjs

Alcoholic intake

NYT Science section reveals that elephants really can't handle their liquor. They lack a key enzyme that we humans enjoy. It goes back to a time when living changed from arboreal to terrestrial when diets changed and (ready) "....richer in fallen, fermenting fruit on the forest floor." As to the latter the story told is that birds gorged on fermented berries so that "there wasn't  a tern left unstoned." (Groan)
tjs
NYT 5/26/20

Pub Crawl

The NYT proposes "Will Britain's Pubs Survive?"   The current Covid virus has caused a lockdown that has everyone imbibing at home. Noel Coward, the famous British playwright, was asked to write a song that was intrinsically British and he decided to write about his favorite Pub, the Rose and Crown. It goes something like this:
-Saturday night at the Rose & Crown is quite the place to be - soldiers and sailors, tinkers and tailors, out on the town for a bit of a spree - if you're tired of life with your husband or wife and the kids are getting you down - things will all come right - on Saturday night - at the Rose & Crown! Hail Britannia!
tjs

Quotes of the mid-week.

About POTUS: The pandemic has left him shaken, not stirred. - Jennifer Senior. I thought she was describing James Bond.

-Trump's new catch phrase - "Transition to Greatness" - you can expect to hear it again, and again - right out of Madison Ave.

-"I may never get an obit......from the New York Times" - (The late Jerry Stiller) (He did get a half page 5/12/20)

- Catch phrase II - "We have met the moment and we have prevailed." (DJT) Not quite "Mission Accomplished". It recalls Pogo's famous "We have met the enemy and he is us."
Anyway it would seem that POTUS has a new ghost writer.
tjs

Pachydermia

Today's NYT crossword puzzle contains the clue "16th century pope who owned a pet elephant". Answer is LeoX from the di Medici family who was elected in 1513. The Indian elephant's name was Hanno and was a gift from Manuel, king of Portugal, to curry favor with the Vatican. The story was written by the Smithsonian in 2015. For Hanno's first appearance before the Pope it is alleged that he (Hanno) bowed and then showered the assembly with water. The "pet" is buried in the Vatican courtyard minus his tusks(?)  and his skeleton was discovered during recent excavation.
Crossword puzzles can be so "puzzling" but also educational.
tjs
(NYT 5-1-20)