Wednesday, August 30, 2017

Marquess of Queensberry

They say that "what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas!" But last Saturday night there was a "bout" in a hotel arena matching a martial arts athlete versus a forty year old "boxer". The martial fellow was handicapped as he was not permitted to kick with his feet. After waltzing around for nine plus rounds the referee stopped the contest. Dan Barry writing in the NYTimes called it the "fleece of the century" further commenting "The match belonged here - deserved quarantining here!" But the contestants embraced each other as they clutched their million dollar checks. Apparently, the odor didn't stay in Vegas.
tjs

Friday, August 25, 2017

Wine Tasting

For $4000. you can accompany the infamous Sheriff Joe of Arizona on a European tour of Normandy and the Champagne Region of France. I didn't know the gunslinger had such expensive tastes. He could return with an educated palate and become a sommelier in an Arizona saloon if he is not in jail. Oh, pardon me! It reminds me somewhat of the glory days of U.S.Lines when each year our London V.P. (Guvnor) would be invited to visit the Burgundy Region and after much fanfare and tasting he would be honored with the title of Chevalier du Tastevin with a chain around the neck and suitable paperwork. Our Yankee bosses loved it.
tjs

Monday, August 21, 2017

Two Points of View


The following two articles appeared in the same edition of the NYTimes:
-About 71% of Americans over the age of 20 are overweight or obese.
-Sugar arrived in Japan from China in the eighth century and for nearly a millennium it was treated like a controlled substance, hoarded and administered like medicine.
And I thought it was their fish diet that kept those Asians svelte. We could learn from them.
tjs

Friday, August 18, 2017

Brexit Remorse


NYTimes writes that more than 10,000 pigs are exported from Ireland to Northern Ireland every WEEK! That's a lot of hog bellies! I guess this may be reflected in the old saying "Irish as Patty's pig." The flow was smooth when both countries were members of the European Union. Now that the U.K. has "exited" the Union taking Northern Ireland with it, there is a problem at the border and the pigs have become a trade issue. As the roads back up it is too bad that pigs can't fly!
tjs

Thursday, August 17, 2017

Total Eclipse

The total Solar Eclipse will occur on Monday August 21st. While the total exercise will take about two hours, the maximum period of darkness will be 2:41 minutes in downstate Illinois with lesser time as the phenomenon proceeds from Salem, Oregon to Charleston, S.C. Since I  can't be in Illinois  I will settle for Cape May N.J. with best viewing around 2:26PM. With darkness you might observe the following:
-Many animals appear baffled.
-Deer become restless - sheep stampede and bleat.
-Birds scatter and screech - mosquitoes emerge.
-Crickets and owls begin their concerts.
-Biological clocks are affected.
-Temperature may drop as much as 13 deg. Fah.
-A sudden shift in wind direction.
Special eclipse sunglasses are recommended.
Lastly, that halo around the eclipsed sun is called a corona, which happens to be the eclipse beer of choice. Don't miss it but pray for clear skies.
tjs

Wednesday, August 16, 2017

'Tis an Ill Wind...


The founder of EBay, who has some property in Hawaii, would like to create a dairy farm on the island of Kauai about a mile and a half from The Grand Hyatt Resort. The hotel folks are complaining to the EPA fearing flies and odors wafting on the wind in their direction and a serious negative effect on tourism. Each dairy cow produces ninety pounds of manure per day x 699 cows and Hyatt's lawyer says "That's a lot of manure!" To ameliorate the situation the dairy folks plan to introduce "dung beetles" to help process manure. That is one beetle this city boy is not familiar with. (Sorry to end on a preposition)
tjs

Monday, August 14, 2017

Overcrowding.

You've heard of man-spreading on the subways - now we have Beach-spreading at the Jersey shore.
When I was a youth the only irritations at the beach were the green head flies and an occasional sea gull dive bombing on you. Now the crowds come with their tents and cabanas - tables and grills and block the views of folks on their towels and chairs. It came to a head last year in Seaside Heights when a guy brought a wooden coffin on to the beach containing his food and drink. He was banned due to an absence of a corpse.
tjs

Sunday, August 13, 2017

Neither snow nor rain......




Above is the lead in to the postman's motto. But pity the poor delivery man in Kabul, Afghanistan where very few streets have names and there are dozen of Mohammads in every block. He rides a bicycle over unpaved roads and tries to deliver 100 parcels per day. While he doesn't contend with snow he does tolerate 90+ fah temperatures. The story reminded me of the situation in Japan told by our manager in Tokyo during the 1960s. It seemed the postal authorities permitted you to designate your house address and everyone wanted Chome Number One. Figure that out on your bicycle.
tjs

Wednesday, August 9, 2017

Primarily Political XXXI

Quote of the week: Re POTUS - "there is no vacation from grievance and frustration." - Peter Baker NYT.

Whoever coined the phrase "Fire and Fury" must have had an affinity for alliteration but was not the Good Book's "fire and brimstone" adequate?

Recent wet weather has spawned wild mushrooms springing up on lawns and gardens. Don't eat them! Recall the disgruntled ex-employee speaking of his employer  - "They give you the mushroom treatment - First they keep you in the dark, then they cover you with manure, and finally they can you."
tjs

Monday, August 7, 2017

Retail.

The famous Saks Fifth Avenue store is feeling the squeeze from Amazon as are other retail emporiums. Their entire second floor is a wellness center featuring salt baths and other amenities. It is not selling merchandise - rather making the customer feel good. In a similar vein it is said that in 1935 they opened a ski center teaching skiing lessons while selling ski gear. This is surprising as 1935 was in the middle of the Great Depression when the only downward slopes were in the stock market. But that would take superb salesmanship of the highest order.
tjs

Friday, August 4, 2017

Gender Equality

This just in from Copenhagen: The biographer of Prince Henrik of Denmark,  has announced that the Prince Consort no longer wishes to be buried next to his wife of fifty years, Queen Margrethe II because he was never made king or king consort. "He said he loves his wife, but has difficulties with the Queen as an institution." His grudge has been festering for some time going back to a grievance about not having his own salary and having to ask his wife for pocket money for cigarettes. Most guys could sympathize with that but the law on gender equality does not apply to the Royal Court.
A twin glass sarcophagus is being prepared, but alas, the Queen may rest there alone. To paraphrase Richard III "My hearse, my hearse, my kingdom for a hearse."
tjs

Thursday, August 3, 2017

Hardball

When Sen. Lisa Murkowski (R) of Alaska voted NO and helped sink the skinny repeal bill, it did not go over well in the administration or with the new Interior Secretary. He is the fellow who arrived to work on the first day on horseback and controls vast real estate in Alaska. It is alleged that he made veiled threats of retaliation against the people of her state. As a former congressman he should have known that Sen. Murkowski is the chairwoman of the committee that funds appropriations for the Interior Department. Biting the hand that feeds you! Poor horsemanship with a touch of saddle sores.
tjs

Wednesday, August 2, 2017

Making Merry

The late Drew Pearson was a famous investigative reporter in Washington, D.C. spanning the years from FDR to early Nixon. He began his column, Washington Merry-Go-Round in 1932 and it was a must read by all within the Beltway. He was both feared and cultivated across party lines. I thought of his title while observing the revolving door going on in the White House. And it's a far cry from the carousel I rode as a child chasing after that elusive brass ring.
tjs

Tuesday, August 1, 2017

My Gal Friday

When I was about forty I entered the hospital for a tonsillectomy. I recommend you do it younger. I had the procedure on a Thursday, spent a restless night and was discharged in the morning which was a Friday. As I was to spend the weekend at my family home, I stopped at my apartment for weekend supplies. My cleaning lady came on Fridays and as I burst thru the door unannounced, she was having a cup of tea with a neighboring cleaning lady. They stared at me in surprise and as I couldn't speak I reverted to sign language and was soon out the door leaving them to interpret what they had just witnessed, perhaps by searching thru the tea leaves.
tjs