Unintended Consequences

I am indebted to an anonymous Fbook contributor for the following:

An elderly farmer in the midwest was facing another season of tilling the soil to plant his potato crop but his son who usually helped out was in prison. The old man told the son that he would probably have to go it alone. The son got a message back to him that read "Don't dig up the south acre - that's where I buried the guns." The next morning the F.B.I. arrived and dug up the entire area but finding no guns. The father asked the son "What shall I do now?"  The son replied "Start your planting, Pop - I've done as much as I can from here."
tjs
Next - TBA- Blogger will be away from the keyboard next week - have a safe and sane Fourth!

Potpourri

Elaine's Restaurant was a popular watering hole on the east side of New York in the eighties (88th St) frequented by many celebrities and locals and Elaine made them all feel comfortable. It became a neighborhood hangout for many. She died several years ago and one regular was heard to say "I miss Elaine with all my heart and half my liver."

Since moving back to the Philadelphia area I have engaged a new primary care physician. He has been "practicing" for over twenty years. But they still call it a "practice." I think George Carlin could have done a riff on this ponderous question.

I had to put my car in a body shop for some minor work. They have a motto "We met by accident."
tjs
Next - Unintended Consequences

Drinking Partners

Recently we spent a few days at the family beach house in Cape May, N.J.  The town was spared by most of Sandy's wrath and we are fortunate to be two blocks from the beach - but close enough that at high tide and when the wind is right we can hear the roar of the surf - which is worth the price of admission.  One evening while savoring a pre-prandial glass of Chardonnay on the front porch I was called to the kitchen and upon my return I found three fruit flies performing an aquacade in my drink that would make Billy Rose smile  - one was doing the backstroke - but probably better than having them mating. If I were in a pub I could have sent it back but I didn't have that luxury so I snuffed them with a paper napkin and they died happily. Those of you who attended Catholic school may recall that the nuns always told us to "pray for a happy death." A friend suggested that I should opt for a dryer and less sweet vintage but that would only make me pucker up.
tjs
Next - A Friendly Game of Golf

The Underworld

The underworld was in the news last week:
-Tony Soprano took the early train as my brother used to say - he was only 51.
-Whitey Bulger's trial continues in Boston. A witness described - matter of factly - how and why he killed - he had a code of honor to uphold.
-Brooke Astor's son - though with clean hands - went to jail for embezzeling his mother's fortune - he is 89 and in a wheel chair. He had a home in Northeast Harbor, Maine which is a repository of old money.
-And finally we again query the fate of Jimmy Hoffa who hasn't been seen since he went out to lunch in 1975. The F.B.I. dug up a plot in Michigan last week with no results. Then a new informant came forth saying the Teamster boss had been chewed up in a wood chipping machine. Ouch! But I still cling to the rumor that he may have taken up residence in the New Jersey Meadowlands, perhaps under the Giants stadium although I think he was a Detroit Lions fan. Of course the END zone would have been a fitting location.

It all proves that truth is stranger than fiction.
tjs
Next -Drinking Partners

Current Events

The Rolling Stones rolled into Philadelphia last week. I had thought that these old stones had gathered some moss by now.

Last night was the Super full moon - the closest it will be to earth this year. This following the Summer Solstice which causes various types of celebrating in the northern latitudes. From today the sun heads south again but let's enjoy these longest days of June.

Baseball is very popular in Japan. But their baseball commissioner has admitted that they have "juiced up" the balls to make them livelier to create more home runs as the balls fly out of the park.
This makes the pitchers unhappy but you can't please everyone.

Last night the Discovery channel covered live the death defying high wire walk across the Grand Canyon gorge above the Colorado River by Nik Wallenda - a fifth generation member of the Wallenda clan. It was twenty-two minutes of high drama and the winds were more than he anticipated. A remarkable feat provoking a flurry of twittering.
tjs
Next -The Underworld

Bloomsday

June 16th is celebrated as Bloomsday in Dublin, Ireland by literary devotees of James Joyce. The followers dress up in period costumes and trace the route of  Leopold Bloom as he meanders thru that famous city visiting his favorite haunts circa 1912. My last visit to Dublin was in 1978 long before the Celtic Tiger roared and while smoking was still allowed in the pubs to accompany the "craic" and Guinness. Our agent had an office on Grafton St. and his favorite meeting place was the Paddock Bar in the Shelburne Hotel - also very smokey. Ah, but so was the salmon! But it all beat traipsing thru cemeteries in the rain.
tjs
Blogger will be out of pocket for the next week - resume upon return.

Flag Day

Today, June 14th is celebrated as Flag Day when we run Old Glory up the flagpole and salute.  When we pledge allegiance in our schoolrooms we still say "under God". Last week at a family funeral the cemetery was covered with small flags the week after Memorial Day which used to be called "Decoration Day" to honor lost service men and women. And if a departed member of your family served his/her country you will always recall the moment you were presented with the neatly folded flag - triangular - with the stripes folded into the stars. For those of you too young to remember WWII, war with Japan was declared December 8, 1941 - the day after the attack on Hawaii. It lasted until August 15, 1945. During those 40+ difficult months the Philadelphia Daily News each day printed a picture of our flag in the upper corner of page one with the inscription "She'll fly over Tokyo." Some things you never forget.
tjs
Next -Bloomsday

Quotes of the Week

The U.S. Golf Association is holding the U.S. Open Tournament this week at the Merion Golf Club which happens to be located about 1-1/2 miles from our home. The Association is currently having a public relations effort to speed up play and their motto is a line uttered by Rodney Dangerfield in the film "Caddyshack".  R.D.s partner was fidgeting and waggling over his tee shot when Dangerfield yelled to him "Let's go - while we're young!"

In Boston this week the trial is under way of the notorious James "Whitey" Bulger on a raft of charges. One observer said he expected him to use what he called the "Irish Alzheimer's defense. That's where you forget everything but the names of your enemies."

You Francophile observers may remember D.S.K. who lost his job as Managing Director of the International Monetary Fund for his sex-capades in hotel rooms and participating in dubious parties.
He has insisted that he was unaware that prostitutes had attended the parties and argued that lust is not a crime! NYT 6/12/13.
tjs
Next - Flag Day

Urban Slang

Apparently the aroma of "maryjane" is still in the air and wafting west. The states of Colorado and Washington have legalized "recreational marijuana" (cannibis). They now have the task of determining when a driver is impaired with the drug in their system - and this is proving not quite as easy as setting an alcohol level.  Wikipedia lists the urban slang phrase "toke it up" as referring to the smoking of cannibis - which provokes the question "How many tokes does it take to get pulled over?" I admit that I had not heard this phrase before and I chalk it up to leading a sheltered life with too much sub-urban replacing the urban. The NYT 6/9/13 elaborates for you curious readers.
tjs PS - This post only available to those 18 years of age or older.
Next - TBA
http://www.nytimes.com/2013/06/09/automobiles/redefining-under-the-influence.html?ref=automobiles&_r=0

The Changing Times

Some fifty years ago we used a term (not disparagingly) "a couple of Scarsdale matrons" to describe the ladies with the blue hair wearing their white gloves and riding the train from Westchester County into Manhattan to shop at Saks and Bergdorfs. Fast forward and now we see the modern "matron" driving a Mercedes SUV and raising a marijuana farm in a Queens warehouse. (see NYT 6/8/13) Wow! That's chutzpah! Instead of blue hair we only smell blue air! But just don't inhale.
tjs P.S. The Googler says this is post number 600 or in SuperSpeak it is DC.
Next - Urban Slang
http://www.nytimes.com/2013/06/08/nyregion/scarsdale-ny-woman-is-charged-as-marijuana-farmer.html?ref=nyregion&_r=0

Where's the Proof?

There was a recent news item of a tank wagon containing scotch overturning on a highway in New Jersey. The vehicle then caught fire, the source of which was either the vehicle's fuel or the 100 proof contents, no one was sure.  Some years ago U.S. Lines transported this liquid in 5000 gallon tank containers from Scotland to Philadelphia. One snowy night during vessel's discharge operations it was noted that one of the tank's seals was missing. Fearing possible contamination, the terminal worker was instructed to take samples and hold overnight for surveyors' examination. He duly dipped several mason jars thru the manhole cover extracting this ice cold 100 proof elixir, filled the jars to the brim and screwed the lids on tightly and placed in his bottom desk drawer awaiting the morrow.
After several hours in the warm confines of the desk drawer the cold liquid began to expand and the poor fellow heard POW - POW as the jars exploded beneath him. A scare like that could make a guy swear off the sauce for life.  And you thought all scotch was bottled in Scotland?
tjs
Next - The Changing Times