Stool Pigeons

The Chinese are very involved in racing pigeons. They raise the birds in their home loft - then carry them est. 400 miles away - release them - and the first one home is declared the winner. These pigeons can fly 80 miles per hour. Two scamps tried to game the system by carrying the birds on the bullet train and then releasing them - but they arrived much to soon to be recognized as legitimate and the handlers confessed to their misdeed. You might call them "stool pigeons". The teller of this tale recalled the gal from Brooklyn who - halfway thru the New York Marathon - jumped on the subway and arrived at the finish line in remarkable time. Of course, this was an era when the subways ran on schedule!!
tjs

Braking News

It was discovered during the Spanish Civil War that a book must be at least 350 pages long to stop a bullet. So if Donald Trump should ever take that shot at you on Fifth Avenue, just hope it is just after your visit to the library.

Royalty versus Loyalty - The NYT reported that when the Royal marriage of Charles & Diana broke up after fifteen years, the royal purse clapped shut immediately. Some 40 of the Princess's favorite stores were instructed to begin sending their bills to Diana, not to Charles. Fortunately, she received a few Quid in a settlement.
tjs

All Politics is /are Local

The quote of the week: Both senior editors of the Washington Post and New York Times were interviewed on CNN this weekend. The NYT gent revealed he had been a young reporter in New Orleans some years ago and recalled the most famous quote he ever received from a politician.
He was riding the campaign bus with Gov. Eddie Edwards of Louisiana who was a scamp and had been in prison for skullduggery, etc. He asked the Gov. if he ever thought he might lose. The answer came back "Only if they find me in bed with a dead girl or a live boy!" All politics were Vocal!
tjs

Quoth the Raven

The second largest theme park in France has its falconers training six black crows to pick up cigarette butts and other trash which humans drop.
They are placed at the gate each morning so that visitors can see the feathered creatures in action and maybe the idea will catch on. There is no way the Frenchman will give up his Gauloises with the blue smoke. Lest New York get excited about the idea it was felt that pigeons are not very smart.
tjs

A Dog's Life

These surely are the dog days of Summer but dog owners take heart. We read in the news today of an entrepreneur offering climate-controlled doghouses that are illegal in New York City but have been installed at rest stops along the New York Thruway. Made of aluminum, air conditioned and with internet connectivity for dog owner to pay 30 cents per minute. Apparently, one size fits all. Of course, with the meter running one would want to make haste at the rest stop. The units are officially called DogSpots.
tjs

Word Play

Charlie was in banking on the "street" - the wife and kids were at the beach for the summer - he joined them on the weekends. But Mon. thru Thurs. he was restless. He finally accepted his colleagues' suggestion to join them for some bar hopping in the city. Late in the evening they entered an establishment where "nobody knows your name". Approaching a comely female they began to describe friend Charlie as "celebrating his new found summer bachelorhood". Without missing a beat she said "And how long have you been celibating?" Charlie was too rusty for this type repartee - he actually blushed, excused himself and caught the last train home to Scarsdale.
tjs

Piling On II

Paul Manafort's first trial opened this week on fraud, tax evasion and money laundering. While he appeared at his hearing wearing prison garb he showed up for the trial in one of his $50M tailored suits. (He left the ostrich feathered jacket with his valet) For that kind of money I hope he got two pairs of pants. My only leap of luxury was a two piece plaid velour suit by Bill Blass which I wore to cocktail parties and women couldn't keep their hands off me. But Blass was stingy with fabric in the crotch area. Trump has compared Manafort's treatment to Al Capone but Alphonse had a luxurious cell in the Eastern State Penitentiary in Philadelphia where he did his meditations. The place is now a historic site. They say crime doesn't pay but Paulie will soon find out.
tjs