Win Some - Lose Some

Recently we learned that the Humane Society in California were successful in forcing egg farmers to allow more room in the cages for the hens to flap their wings and strut. Flushed with success they were unable in keeping the ban on foie gras  off the menu. This delicacy is the result of force feeding geese and ducks for their enlarged livers. A Federal Judge has okay'd the practice. So for now it seems that the gourmands have won the battle of the fatted duck. Win some - lose some!
tjs

Mea Culpa!

A family member is planning to attend a Religious Retreat at a local venue. I am reminded of a penitent who visited the shrine of Ste. Anne de Beaupre near Quebec, Canada on a similar mission. Part of the ceremony involved going up a set of steps on one's knees in prayerful meditation. Halfway up his route was blocked by a woman also doing an act of penance. It seemed she had the hem of her skirt caught in the heel of her shoe and she asked him to assist with the entanglement. His reply was "Not me, lady! It's for doing that that I'm doing this!" Mea Culpa!
tjs

A Dog's Life

We live in a twenty unit apartment building whose lease prohibits pets although there are several dogs on the premises one of whom barks incessantly while the owner is away. I am reminded of the following which may have occurred in a Manhattan rental building: This fellow who worked nights slept days. His next door neighbor who worked days had a dog of unspecified breed. He noticed that when his phone rang it excited his canine who ran throughout the limited space and he devised a routine that every day at noon he would call his apt. - let it ring eight times knowing his dog would be getting his daily exercise. This gambit particularly annoyed neighbor No. 1 who thereupon approached the building super and on a pretext was admitted to his neighbor's domain. Precisely at noon the phone rang - after six rings he picked up the instrument and breathed heavily into it and replaced it on the cradle. The pet owner was dumbfounded and I would like to think they lived happily ever after. However, I think I will have a word with my super tomorrow.
tjs

Rooney Rant

I have just suffered thru my third Cialis ad in six hours. My mute is wearing out. Their ads seem to feature smiling couples and the models seem to be getting younger all the time - whatever that message is. Their major competitor - "V" exhibits rarely but only showing a sultry female - sans partner - seeming to lure one as does the Lorelei on the Rhine. The audience they are attempting to reach will all be watching the Super Bowl first weekend in February and expect them to duke it out there at $4 million per half minute. Lilly vs. Pfizer - yellow vs. blue - wait for the coin toss but let me control the remote.
tjs

Holy Cow!

Holy Cow! was the strongest expletive I ever heard from the mouth of Phil Rizzuto. I just read where our Government has lifted the ban on Irish beef which was put in place sixteen years ago due to an outbreak of Mad Cow disease in Europe. Back in the 1950s the U.S. Lines ships calling at Dublin regularly brought home tonnages of frozen Irish beef. Now the import cycle resumes. But won't this mean more beef on the market and maybe less "chikin" consumed? This would turn those advertising bovines into MAD COWS for sure.
tjs

The Perfect Word

I always promised that if I had nothing to say I would say it in as few words as possible. Many are the authors frozen with writer's block at the keyboard or typewriter searching for that perfect word or phrase. Dick Cavett attributes the following to Mark Twain: "The difference between the almost "right" word and the right word is the difference between the lightning bug and the lightning." In a contest for the perfect word or phrase I would submit the following: When prepping for a medical procedure requiring flushing I read the instructions on the bottle which included the following phrase: The urge to evacuate! What perfect use of the English language.
tjs

What Came First?

I hope you enjoyed your holiday Egg Nog. It appears that the price of eggs will rise in the new year. Californians are the largest of egg consumers and the Humane Society there has lobbied into law that hens must have more room in their cages to stretch and flap their wings. This will mean larger cages, fewer "layers" in each cage and requiring heaters to replace the cheek by jowl body heat exchanged between the hens. And think of the poor rooster with a diminished size of his harem - expect him to crow louder in the morning. Even egg producers in the mid-west supplying California are subject to this law and they are crying FOWL!
tjs