Flash Alert

I have just read that due to drought conditions in Texas there is a shortage of mistletoe this holiday season. Sorry to be the grinch who stole a kiss away. But they say mistletoe was just a type of parasite anyway.  Perhaps holly will do just fine - check overhead before you pucker up and let auld acquaintances be forgotten this New Year's Eve.
tjs

Christmas Greetings

On Christmas Eve we will be flying north to land in daylight before the FAA closes the north/south corridors to give Santa and sleigh and reindeer a wide berth. I hope he visits your home. I will be out of pocket until after the New Year. Here's wishing you and yours a blessed Christmas - look for me in January - and if you happen to be in Philadelphia on New Year's day don't miss the Mummers Parade.
tjs

The decline of political humor

Brian Lamb led a discussion on CSPAN regarding political speakers and their ability to inject humor into their campaigns. Back in 2008 the old Mitt Romney was running for the GOP nomination and stopped in at a St. Patrick's Day dinner in South Boston. The Massachusetts legislature had just recently enacted a bill on marriage and while Romney wanted to avoid a discussion on the subject, he could not. So he addressed this group of Southies "Well, I'm a Mormon and I believe that marriage is a union between a man and a woman -and a woman - and a woman." The Romney of today would never tell that story - and they blame it on the consultants. While Gov. Perry can joke about his gaffes the rest of them are dry.
When Abe Lincoln was confronted by a woman who called him "two-faced" he replied "Madam, if you think I had another face would I be wearing this one?" That's what is missing and they blame it on  the consultants.
tjs
P.S. Today December 22nd is the Winter Solstice when the pagans celebrate the shortest day and that the sun is now on its way north again.
Next - Christmas Greetings

Censored - or uncensored?

Is it time for a Rooney rant? Humor is getting edgier hand in hand with the loss of civility. I do not get HBO so I am spared the brunt of it. But on the networks I lose count of the bleeps from Jon Stewart and Bill Maher prides himself on being the first to utter "sucks" on TV. It is spawned in the "comedy" clubs where even the female "stand ups" are injecting rape into their acts in a frivolous way. It wasn't always this way. You had to be squeaky clean to get on Ed Sullivan's show. Even Sophie Tucker had to modify her blue material. Young talent like Cosby, Newhart and Allen were entertaining without shocking. Danny Thomas and Myron Cohen were story tellers and Sam Levenson the school teacher was homespun. Earlier, we thought Lenny Bruce was outrageous but his material was more anti-establishment than vulgar. And my earliest recollection of censorship was when NBC bleeped Jack Paar for using the term "W.C." i.e. water closet! Paar walked off the set that night in protest and it took NBC weeks to lure him back. We have come a long way - I wish I could say forward.
tjs
Next - The decline of political humor

Word-Smith

NPR recently had a discussion with a language reporter for the Boston Globe. His opinion of the most used word in 2011 was "occupy" - as in Occupy Wall Street or any other city having protests - which goes hand in hand with TIME's cover as the protester being person of the year. Some runner-up words or phrases being newly coined or used might include:
"humblebrag" or false humility - from England you have "hacking" as in wire tapping your phone. And thanks to Signor Berlusconi in Italy we learn that "bunga bunga" refers to partying. Egypt gave us "Arab spring". Perhaps if I spent more time "tweeting" I would learn more about what words are on the cutting edge. But back home we are still plagued by that verbal comma, that nervous tic known as "y'know" which has edged out "like" in our lexicon. Too bad.
tjs
Next - Censored - or uncensored?

Science Times

Last Tuesday's New York Times Science Section posted an article titled "The Future of Computing" where a group of experts and some non-experts predicted the road ahead. For instance:

Year 2019 - Universal Medical Database
Year 2023 - Curing Cancer
Year 2024 - Practical Robot Cars

"By 2018 freeway car pool lanes will be opened to robot-driven cars." So you will no longer have to place that stuffed dummy in the passenger seat to fool the cops - the dummy will be driving the car! And you in the passenger seat texting and tweeting to your heart's content. But me with my EZ pass stuck behind Robo who is maintaining the speed limit. Heaven forbid we have a fender bender with "it" - State Farm will never believe me. I was thinking, "What if all the taxis in Times Square were robot driven?"
No horn blowing - no lane changing - no finger waving - no swearing in several languages. (The last three drivers I had were Haitian - Nigerian and Belarusian.) And it might cut down on immigration. As Paul Simon wrote -  "The Sound of Silence." But wait - the experts also predict by year 2040 we will have flying cars! Fasten your seat belts.
tjs
Next - Word-smith

Funny? or Punny? V

1 - A prisoner's favorite punctuation mark is the period. It marks the end of his sentence.

2 - Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.

3 - A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

4 - What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway.)

5 - If you don't pay your exorcist you get repossessed.

6 - Two peanuts were walking in a tough neighborhood and one of them was a-salted.
tjs
Next - Science Times (Mon.)