Have You "herd"?

Republicans like to tout the elephant as their party symbol. But Sen. Jeff Flake (R) of Arizona was leading a fact finding group in Mozambique investigating wildlife

 poaching when a herd of elephants charged his vehicle forcing them to flee for their lives. The Senator later tweeted "These elephants have no respect for a fellow Republican!" After reading of these "bull" elephants attacking a sitting Senator I turned on the "R" debate only to watch a "bull-y" also attack a sitting Senator. Deja vu or whatever!
tjs

Let the Bidding Begin

The NYTimes yesterday wrote of the state of the Egyptian economy with President Sisi reciting a list of the economic woes. At one point he said he would put himself up for sale to help the economy. In short order a listing went up on Ebay for "a slightly used former field marshal" which quickly attracted six figure bids before Ebay took down the posting. Fortunately, our own economy is not in such dire straits that we have to put POTUS on the block but if necessary we could rent out the Lincoln bedroom.
tjs

The Fallen Warrior

My first and only attempt at elocution in high school was a recitation of Marc Antony's oration "I come to bury Caesar, not to praise him...........". Well, last week the pundits buried Jeb Bush but the NYTimes praised him for his decency, civility and humanity - he was just the wrong man for the season. The Times also itemized how his supporters could spend $130 million in a losing cause:
-Advertising ..............$84 million.
-Consultants...............$10 million.
-Branding...................$88,387
-Clubbing/Fund raising $94,100
-Valet parking.............$15,800
-People/staff................$8.3 million
-**** Hotels................$48,544
-Pizza...........................$4,837.
So a lot of folks milked this cash cow before the barn door closed. In the film "Bridge on the River Kwai" in the last scene a British medical officer says one word "Madness!"
tjs

Primarily Political X

Donald J. Trump prides himself on being self funding and his expenses for the month of January have just come in:
-Hair pomade...................$50.
-Sheep's clothing .............$200.
-Extra long ties from Macy's....$100.
-Hand wipes......................$ 30.
-Spanish lessons (Rosetta Stone)....$150.
-Diction lessons to smooth the Rs...$200.
-Attitudinal adjustment (N.Y. Values)$300.
-Altoid mints to sweeten the tongue..$20.
-Concealed weapons permit..............$100.
-Lip balm...........................................$ 20.
-Jet fuel..........................................$10,000.

Yes, he really is self funded. On to Super Tuesday!
tjs

The "male" must go through!

The following inscription can be found on the General Post Office in New York City: "Neither snow, nor rain, nor heat, nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds." They didn't seem to anticipate a barrier from turkeys. There are approx. 25,000 turkeys in New Jersey and last week five of them surrounded a letter carrier and forced him to remain in his truck until the police arrived to free him. The State Agency chalked it up to premature Spring fever on the part of "crazy jakes"i.e. teenage males. You might say the TOM TOMS were beating in the wilds of New Jersey.
tjs

Primarily Political IX

Compare the following statements:

"How many divisions does the Pope have?"- Joseph Stalin

"When ISIS attacks the Vatican the Pope will wish that I was President!" -Donald Trump.

In the financial world Carl Icahn
 Enterprises was down 11% last Friday. You may recall Icahn is the financial wizard that Donald Trump will bring on board to handle China. Don't drop any, Carl! (In fairness, Mr. Icahn, age 79, has indicated "No way" is he interested in any cabinet post in a Trump administration.

Sorry no humor to start the week.
tjs

Up in Central Park

There are approx. 26,000 trees in Central Park, each one affixed with a small metal plate each containing a four digit number. The first two digits indicate the street nearest and the last two digits reflect which side you are near i.e. even number = east side and odd number = west side. This provoked the quip "all the odd people live on the west side." You cruise travelers will recall that "even numbers on the port side" apply to lifeboats and staterooms so that when you are staggering back from that midnight buffet you can tell whether you are walking towards the bow or the stern.
(The rule of thumb = EVEN - PORT and LEFT all have four letters.)
tjs