Bullet Train

The High Speed Rail project between San Francisco and Los Angeles is now underway but the cost is rising. Before there was air shuttle service, the train was the preferred means of making this 800 mile trip. Leaving the Bay Area at midnight with a sleeper berth you could arrive L.A. refreshed in the morning. One night a Navy four striper raced to catch the midnight train just before it pulled out. With the conductor leading the way they entered a stateroom only to find it occupied by two women of a certain age. The train was full and the conductor was perspiring profusely when one of the ladies spoke up - "We're all mature adults - I'm sure we can work something out." Then the Captain said "Madam, I'm an officer of the United States Navy and a gentleman. The arrangement you propose is totally unacceptable - one of you  must leave."
tjs

Love on the Lake

There is an age old question "How do porcupines make love?" The answer "Very carefully!" There is also an old saw that asks "What is the worst way to make love?" That answer is "Standing up in a canoe". But now we hear from the former executive director of the Canadian Canoe Museum who advocates a horizontal position. He seems to be an expert as his first date with his wife was a seven week canoe trip in Northern Canada. He offers a few words of caution:
-Sound carries particularly well across still water.
-Keep some body parts visible above the gunwhale as an empty canoe raises alarm.
-Black flies and mosquitoes are most active around twilight.
Another author described "A Canadian is somebody who knows how to make love in a canoe". Finally, three words to remember "center of gravity" - there you have it, Eh?
tjs
(NYT Magazine 7/29/18)

Quick Study

                                                                                              

In recent weeks it was pretty evident that Donald Trump was beating up on our allies,

NATO and the European Union. So it was with some surprise that we witnessed the Rose Garden scene this week along side the European Union commissioner announcing agreement on certain Trade items. How did it happen? Apparently, the E.U. arrived with color coded flip charts with minimum words - just the combination POTUS likes. Voila! We had some agreement. So when you next appear with your proposal, bring with you a box of crayons (Crayola are best) - but stay within the lines. And keep the verbiage down.
Good luck!
tjs

Star Struck

With the stock market doing so well it is a pity to end the week on a sour note. In 2007 Donald Trump was awarded a "star" in the Hollywood Walk of Fame for his Celebrity Apprentice Show. This week a vandal visited the scene at 3:30AM  and removed a pick-ax from a guitar case and attacked the star made of pink terrazzo. This was the second such abuse of this "landmark". The perpetrator then turned himself in - perhaps asking for his pick-ax to be returned or filing a complaint about a stolen guitar. Earlier instances of marring this"jewel" consisted of smearing ketchup, painting it purple and affixing a Bernie Sanders bumper sticker. These blue Californians have a strange sense of humor.
tjs

China Spread

Chinese interests are buying up high end real estate globally, the latest listed as a 48 story building in London's East End. It's called the Leadenhall Building at 122 Leadenhall St. London EC3 and nicknamed Cheesegrate due to its wedged shape and opened in 2014. It must certainly cast its shadow on its neighbors on the street. This caught my eye as USLines had a working "back office" at number 38 Leadenhall St. in the days pre and post WWII. Earlier it was the office of the White Star Line at the time of the TITANIC sinking in 1912. An old timer reported - circa 1929 - that widows of her crew dressed in black would still come around seeking redress. Now years later the neighborhood is shadowed by a skyscraper called a"cheesegrater".
tjs

Fickle Fashion

During the recent World Cup games, England's team manager sported a vest (some Brits call it a waistcoat). As the team kept winning he kept showing off his attire while pacing the sidelines. When they didn't win it all, I guess he finally sent it to the cleaners. But now I read that the rage in Manhattan and Palo Alto is the grey fleece vest, zippered up the front, and sported by execs and interns. Fleece comes from either the ewe or the llama and the breeders must be working overtime to shear them to meet the demand. This uniform arrives several centuries late as Brooks Bros. adopted the Golden Fleece lamb as their logo mid-nineteenth century. When I moved to New York in mid-1970s I tried to reintroduce the straw boater but it didn't catch on. Timing is everything. Anyway, the mantra I hear is "If you are well vested, you won't get fleeced." Good advice but check your 401k.
tjs

Remember me?

Sean Spicer, that star of S.N.L. and the White House podium, is seeking a second career and has written a book titled "The Briefing" but not saying how brief. He is holding a book party tomorrow in Washington - admission is $250. - buy four tickets gets you into the VIP reception. His former employer has endorsed it saying "Really good, go get it!" Two days later he is having a glitzier, invitation only - party in the lobby of the Trump Hotel. The Trump family is charging $10,000. for use of the space. Ching, ching! Mr. Spicer characterizes Mr. Trump as "a unicorn riding a unicorn over a rainbow"! (Apparently searching for that pot of gold) Can't improve on that!
So get in line for your autographed copy.
tjs