A Cicada Year

The New York Times reminds us that this is a Cicada Year. They appear every thirteen years like clockwork by the millions thruout the Southern states and working their way as far north as Iowa. Their insect shells litter the lawns, the adults die and the offspring go underground for another thirteen years.
It only lasts a few weeks but the buzz they make sounds like a rattling car engine. For bug watchers a cicada year is a boon but it is very hard to do research as they come and go so quickly, but at least they know that the buzzing will return in 2024.
tjs
Next - George Plimpton

Memorial Day

Today, May 30, is celebrated as Memorial Day. In bygone times it was known as Decoration Day when we decorated the graves of military veterans. But the word "thirty" is also a newspaperman's term for "the end" of a column or article.  The late Bill Stern always ended his radio broadcast with the phrase "well, that's the THREE-O mark for tonight." An old Irish lady once said "Marry in May and you'll rue the day." But I married my wife THIRTY years ago on May THIRTY and I haven't rued nor has it been the end - rather a blessed continuation.......
tjs
Next - A Cicada Year

Rotary Club

The Rotary Club is considered probably the premier service club with no slight to Lions or Kiwanis. Rotary members include the business and professional leaders in a community. They have a quirk in their membership application in that only one representative of an industry can be a member. So it came to pass back in Philadelphia circa 1960 that the U.S. Lines Manager applied for membership and was put on the "wait list" as the manager of Cunard Line was the current occupant of the "steamship seat". Our man had to cool his heels until his Cunard competitor retired a few years later. Talk about being stymied. In 1964 I was passing thru the Port of Manchester, England a red brick city of the time and our agent invited me to their monthly Rotary luncheon. He reminded me of the protocol that nobody lights up a cigarette until the Queen is toasted. That was the same Queen who hosted President Obama recently and someone should have clued him in to the etiquette of dealing with royalty. The Brits do have their protocols.
tjs
Next - Memorial Day (Mon.)

Stymied

It was a slow afternoon at the office so my friend John thought he could steal away to the golf course for a weekday round. He knew he would be a "onesome" and that the golf pro/starter would probably match him with a compatible player. When he arrived at the club the only one waiting to play was an elderly gent and the starter said you are a twosome and have a good round. For three holes they were relatively even when my friend's drive strayed off the fairway and landed behind a tall tree with no view to the green. As he was weighing his options his "partner" finally spoke up and said "Johnny, when I was your age I could clear that tree with a seven iron." John stared at him as he pulled a seven iron from the bag.
 He swung and the ball just caught the top of the tree and fell into the rough. John was livid and challenged his new found partner "I thought you told me you could clear that tree with a seven." The old gent said "But Johnny when I was your age that tree was only six feet tall." Ouch.
tjs
Next - Rotary Club

Norman Mailer

Norman Mailer, a prolific writer and author and denizen of Manhattan died in 2007 at age 84. His sixth wife passed away in 2010 and now his Brooklyn Heights apartment is up for sale. It is said that it is a cross between a Victorian parlor and the cabin of a sailing yacht. Mailer published thirty books - both fiction and non-fiction. Some of his noteworthy achievements were: he debated with Wm. F. Buckley, he sparred with Jose Torres then the light heavyweight boxing champion, he hob-nobbed with John Lennon, Woody Allen and Bob Dylan but his most outrageous show of hubris was running for Mayor of New York in 1969 with writer Jimmy Breslin on the ticket with him - here were two writers trying to tame the bustling metropolis of Manhattan during the raucous sixties. It is said that there are a million stories in the naked city and this guy provided his share. One of his mantras was "One must grow or forever pay the price of remaining the same." After six wives he also said "Alimony is the curse of the writing class." Oh, the apartment is priced at 2.5 million minus contents - with a view of the Statue of Liberty.
tjs
Next - Stymied

Estate Sale

As my extended family is going thru an estate sale, I recalled the following story told to me by a WWII veteran who was stationed in England at that time. Perhaps he heard the lyrics at an English Music Hall.
 It seems a family homestead with all its contents was being sold at auction which meant all the maids, butler and nannies were out in the cold. A group of them were huddled in the rear of the auction house and as each heirloom came on the block the tension rose in the room. Finally, there came a plaintive cry that was heard thruout the premises and went like this:
DON'T SELL THE BIBY'S CHAIR - THE ONE THAT WE HELD SO DEAR -
YOU CAN SELL OLD GRANDFATHER'S SPITTLE (cuspidor) -
BUT DON'T  SELL THE CHAIR WITH THE HOLE IN THE MIDDLE -
'TWAS KNOCKED DOWN FOR TWO SHILLINGS - AND WITH IT WENT MANY A TEAR -
WHEN UP STEPPED A "NAIVY" (seaman) - A STOUT HEARTED "NAIVY" -
AND KNOCKED DOWN THE AUCTIONEER.

Second verse same as the first. Don't forget the Kleenex.
tjs
Next - Norman Mailer

Congressional Hearings III

Another contentious hearing was held by Sen. John McClellan (D -Ark.) in 1957 investigating corruption in labor unions. A young Robert Kennedy was chief counsel of this sub-committee and did most of the grilling. His principal target was Jimmy Hoffa, president of the Teamsters Union and it soon became a vendetta. Early in his organizing career Hoffa contacted members of the "mob" to please do not interfere with his efforts. This contact became his undoing later when Las Vegas individuals began getting loans from the Teamsters Pension Fund. When JFK was elected in 1960 he named brother Bobby as Attorney General in the Justice Department and Hoffa knew things would be heating up - and Kennedy went after him with a vengeance getting several indictments in 1962/1963 and finally Hoffa was imprisoned in 1967  in Lewisburg, Pa.  After JFK's shocking death in 1963,  President Nixon finally commuted his sentence and he resumed his union activity. But in 1975 Hoffa went to a luncheon meeting and never returned. His car was found unlocked and empty. Widespread searches proved futile. Over the years many rumors persisted - one was that he was buried under Giants Stadium in the New Jersey Meadowlands. But a mobster "talking" later said he knew the answer. His story was that Jimmy Hoffa was "whacked" in Chicago and his body driven to the New York area in a Cadillac limo and Jimmy in the limo delivered to an auto wrecking site where the crushing machinery finished the job. A bit gruesome but don't let it spoil your lunch.
tjs
Next - Estate Sale

City of Lights

My son arrived in Paris this morning on holiday. He had been there before. I was last there in 1978 when the French Franc was about six to the dollar. Today it takes $1.43 to buy a Euro - so turn back the clock.
My company put me up in the Hotel Meurice, a comfortable hostelry which had been the Nazi headquarters during WWII. Hitler wanted to torch Paris but fortunately his officer corps were enjoying the fruits of the city too much - and the wine - so they didn't want to spoil their temporary enjoyment. Speaking of nostalgia and turning back the clock Woody Allen's new movie "Midnight in Paris" opens in New York next week. The New York Times film review called it "a charming new film with a blend of whimsy and wisdom." And goes on to state "The good old days are so alluring because we were not around." I am marking my calendar as a "must see." Ah, Paris in the Spring!
tjs

Longevity

The dateline is somewhere in the United Kingdom. It remarks on the passing of the last British veteran of WW I at age 110. When asked his secret for a long life he said "I have a bowl of porridge every morning and an occasional bit of chocolate and some mango juice." Now I have a bowl of oatmeal every morning and my pharmacist says eat only dark chocolate but I can't conceive of hanging around that long. Right now it takes four twenty- somethings to provide for my monthly Social Security check so it would be very selfish of me to keep blogging and spending for another thirty years. But this old chap was born in the year 1901 - think of what he has witnessed - the advent of the horseless carriage, the airplane, the abdication of his King, the London blitz, the Dunkirk evacuation, DDay, losing his shillings and guineas, the Beatles and a man on the moon. He should have a wealth of stories to tell St. Peter. But with all the advances to date the Brits still drive on the left and wrap their fish and chips in yesterday's newspaper.
tjs
Next - Congressional Hearings III (Mon.)

Jury Duty

My wife has been summoned for jury duty in the Federal Courthouse. I think she will make an excellent juror. As the TV network advertises she is "fair and balanced" coupled with sensitivity, curiosity and a rare ability to listen - and perhaps even play the devil's advocate. Her second favorite movie (after CASABLANCA) is TWELVE ANGRY MEN which showcases Henry Fonda at his best. When teaching her high schoolers a Sociology class she often showed this classic black and white presentation and always the students were riveted to the action and chemistry taking place in a jury room. When I lived in New Jersey I was summoned to serve in Elizabeth, the county seat of Union County. As I was still in the work force I showed up wearing a three piece suit and when the defense counsel saw my vest he rejected me - it's called a "preemptive challenge" - but a rejection no less. I tried to perform my duty as a citizen but I knew my in-box would be backing up. Oh, and the going per diem rate today is forty dollars plus mileage which helps to replenish the petty cash drawer. But bring your knitting or a good book as the scales of justice move very slowly and sometimes you can even hear that big clock on the wall ticking.
 tjs
Next - Longevity

Waiter! Waiter!

My son and his cousins all waited on table to garner tips to defray costs of education. It was a marvelous experience to improve their people skills and social graces. When I was in the work force a group of us went to lunch at a steak house in the Dock Street area of Philadelphia. It was the first time for my friend Frank. The waiters were mostly old and crochety. The menu included "soup du jour". Frank asked what was the soup today. The waiter answered "Same as it was yesterday." We had to hold our friend in his seat. When the U.S.Lines passenger ships were competing with Britain's Cunard Line, some trans-atlantic passengers had both experiences. One passenger offered that the difference in service between the two was that on the American Flag liner the table steward was in your conversation. This would never happen with the Brits. Then there is the old vaudeville joke - the diner asks "Waiter, what is this fly doing in my soup?" Waiter says "I think he's doing the backstroke."  In Manhattan many of the waiters are unemployed actors. I'm waiting for one to say "You talkin' to me?" But I do have an empathy for these hustling folks and as a Moderate Conservative I try to tip Liberally.
tjs
Next - Jury Duty

Ye Olde Barber Shoppe

Before there were tonsorial parlors or unisex hair salons, there was the very masculine barber shop. The pre-WWII shop had a swinging screen door and a table fan whirring slowly and the scent of witch hazel permeating the place. But there were no girlie magazines - just the Sporting News, the Daily Racing Form and the local newspaper which sold for three cents and with the local ball game on the radio. Life was slower. My brother and I walked the eight blocks to Charlie Kohler's shop. We always went in tandem as we passed thru strange neighborhoods and with a quarter in your pocket you were fair game circa 1939. There were three chairs in the shop but since we didn't tip we always waited for the owner as you didn't have to tip him. The barber chair was akin to a throne - it raised and lowered and swiveled and had a large leather razor strop for sharpening his straight razor.
Now I visit a unisex establishment where a female "stylist" shears my gray locks for $11. with a senior discount. I tell her to excise just the white hair and I don't want to see her for six weeks - but it's nothing personal. I leave feeling and looking younger with a bounce in my step and smelling nice enough to get a seat on the subway. But I do miss the witch hazel.
As an aside, in parts of Asia the striped barber pole was a symbol for a brothel. And in early days in Europe barbers performed certain surgeries and kept leeches on hand for blood letting. Ugh. But don't let that spoil your day.
tjs
Next - Waiter! Waiter!

Congressional Hearings II

 In 1954 Sen. Joseph McCarthy (R-Wisc.) was on a one man crusade to ferret out perceived Communists from the government. He had zeroed in on an Army dentist at Fort Monmouth N.J. who allegedly had connections to Communist sympathizers. As the issue heated up his committee summoned the Secretary of the Army to the witness stand where he was roughed up by McCarthy. Pres. Eisenhower was furious but he kept out of sight. The Army engaged a civilian counsel led by a courtly gentleman from Boston named Joseph N. Welch.  McCarthy segued away from the dentist briefly to personally attack a young staffer in Welch's Boston legal firm who had earlier belonged to a lawyers guild with alleged "pink" associations.  McCarthy named the young man at this televised hearing and kept up his personal attack.
Finally, the dignified Joseph Welch could take no more and he rebuked the Senator thusly - "Senator, until now I didn't realize the extent of your cruelty and recklessness. Have you no sense of decency, Sir, at long last?"  Welch had punctured McCarthy's ballooon and the hearing room broke out in applause. It also took the steam out of his Red hunting, his health began to fail and he died three years later. This was riveting theater and You Tube has an two minute video titled Joseph McCarthy vs. Joseph Welch which is worth seeing as it recaptures the atmosphere in Washington at that time.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MO2iiovYq70&feature=related

tjs
Next - Ye Olde Barber Shoppe

Epitaphs III

Today is Friday the thirteenth so don't walk under any ladders. Some say it is only a number but then why do so many hotels and skyscrapers omit the 13th floor? Below is this week's offering:

Stranger, approach this spot with gravity - Dentist  Brown is filling his last cavity.

Gee, he was here a moment ago.  (George Carlin)

There goes the neighborhood..... (Rodney Dangerfield)

Better here than in Philadelphia.  (W.C. Fields)

And away we go!                        (Jackie Gleason)

Hold my drink, you're gonna love this................(Anon.)

 Anyway make sure you whistle when you pass this graveyard.
tjs
Next - Congressional Hearings II (Mon.)

Poet's Corner

I heard this anonymous ditty many years ago and while it certainly does not qualify as "elocution" I did sense several messages from it.
"One evening in October when I was far from sober - and lugging home a load with manly pride -
why my feet began to stutter - so I sat down in the gutter - and a pig came up and sat down by my side.
I remarked that it's fair weather when good fellows get together - til a lady passing by was heard to say -"You can tell a man who boozes - by the playmates that he chooses' - and the pig got up and slowly walked away."
In those few lines I read snobbery, intolerance, humiliation, an aversion to pork and the evils of drink.
Hope I haven't wasted your time.
tjs
Next - Epitaphs III

I must go back to Bequia.

One of my favorite sea captains was Capt. Archie Horka a Scandinavian gentleman who had sailed before the mast on barkentines circa 1926 around Cape Horn and was proud of his Cap Hornier status.
 One of his shipmates during those voyages was a fellow named Nils Thompson who later joined the U.S. Coast Guard retiring as a Captain and then made some money in Alaska with fishing and mail boats. He then invested his money in The Friendship Bay Hotel on the Atlantic side of the Island of Bequia in the Grenadine island chain. When Capt. Horka heard I was considering a sail thru those islands he said if we ever called at Bequia to look up his friend Capt. Thompson. As it came to pass with a short deviation we dropped anchor in Bequia harbor and with a few shipmates we took a taxi over the hill and there was the Friendship Bay Hotel up on a hill overlooking the Atlantic. It was April 1st - the high season was over - and the hotel was empty but for Thompson and a few ladies in the kitchen. He greeted us and when I dropped Archie Horka's name he had the ladies lay on a seafood spread and the beer from his cooler was cold. His dining room had a large picture window overlooking the blue Atlantic ocean with his ketch bobbing at anchor and beyond was Europe. A neighboring island was celebrating the rare catch of a whale using hand held harpoons and they had beached the whale and were cutting up the meat and blubber and the whole village came down to get their allocation - similar to a cooperative. It was a festive day for them and we took an outboard back thru the coral reef to rejoin our schooner. If you get down that way Bequia is just below St. Vincent and near Mustique where Princess Margaret of Great Britain used to hang out. So much for name dropping. A lovely part of the world.
tjs
Next - The Poet's Corner

Azorian

If you Google search the word "Azorian" you will find a fascinating story of the attempt to salvage a sunken Russian submarine from three miles down in the Pacific ocean. It was made into a film titled "Raising the K-129" and was scheduled to be shown on the Discovery channel in early April but was pulled from the schedule even though the story was public information. The cover story took place in early 1970s when the "cold war" was still in progress.  The C.I.A. reportedly used Howard Hughes as a front to build a vessel to mine the ocean floor and the story goes on from there. Interesting reading and all true. I have a personal friend who worked on the planning team back then.
tjs
Next - I Must Go Back To Bequia

Congressional Hearings I

There was a time when Congressional Hearings were handled primarily by the committee counsel which was how Roy Cohn and Bobby Kennedy first came to our attention. Now with CSPAN panning the room every Senator and Congressman/woman wants to make a showing back home and even tho they have nothing to say - they say it.                                                                                
During a fifteen month period in 1950/1951 Sen. Estes Kefauver (D-Tenn.) chaired the senate committee investigating crime in the U.S.A.  This was live television at a time when daytime TV had very few shows so these continued hearings became the best show in town. You had the dignified Kefauver in the chair and the committee counsel was the steely eyed Rudolph Halley with his New York delivery.  The witness list highlighted Frank Costello who succeeded Lucky Luciano as a crime syndicate boss and his girl friend Virginia Hill. It was better than a Hollywood movie. Costello refused to have his face on camera so the TV camera fixed on his hands. The hearings ran for fifteen months in fourteen cities and called 600 witnesses. During the highlights TIME magazine said the dirty dishes sat in the sink and all the department stores emptied out while these live hearings were on. Another witness was the infamous gambler Mickey Cohen who complained to Kefauver about Halley's grilling -" Senator, why can't this fellow ask questions "nice" like you." Sen Charles Tobey was a older senator from New Hampshire - a Yankee Republican - he would rise up and lecture these crime bosses with phrases like "Be Ye Clean!"   C SPAN would have loved it.
tjs
Next - Azorian

Mother's Day

Sunday May 8th is Mother's Day. When we were growing up and going to church on Mother's Day Sunday they gave out carnations - a pink one if your mother was living - or a white one if your mother was deceased. For the most part white carnations were worn primarily by adults but on the rare occasion that you might see a child wearing "white" it always made one appreciate your own mother. In 1914 Howard Johnson wrote the following lyric:
M is for the million things she gave me -
O means only that she's growing old -
T is for the tears she shed to save me -
H is for her heart of purist gold -
E is for her eyes with love-light shining -
R means right and right she'll always be -
Put them all together they spell -M-O-T-H-E-R
A word that means the world to me.

If your mother is living, cherish her - if she has passed on, cherish her memory. And have a happy Mother's Day. I'll be wearing a white carnation.
tjs
Next - Congressional Hearings I

Respect the Law

This retired couple went into town on their weekly shopping trip. Exiting a store they found a policeman writing a parking ticket next to an expired meter. Approaching the officer the elder gent said "Gee, officer, can't you give a senior a break?" The cop ignored him and kept writing which irritated the old man who began cursing him. This prompted the cop to write another ticket for "abusing an officer". Then the wife chimed in hurling some invective his way and he kept writing and by now there were a half dozen tickets on the windshield. Just then their bus arrived and they hopped aboard and rode home. So you see, retirement doesn't have to be boring.
tjs
Next - Mother's Day

Cinco de Mayo

Today May 5th is celebrated as Cinco de Mayo - but moreso in the U.S.A. than in Mexico. It commemorates the defeat of the French Army by the Mexican militia at the Battle of Puebla on May 5, 1862. Emperor Napoleon III  of France wanted a foothold in Mexico in order to support the Confederate cause in the war between the states. If the French had succeeded it could have made a difference in the outcome of our Civil War.
BTW, lest I forget, today is also my wife's birthday. So we will don our sombreros and seek out a Mariachi band. Please hold the salt on the margaritas. Ole.
tjs
Next - Respect the Law

Be Happy

The dateline is Somerville, Mass. a town of 75,000 people. They are doing a city census and they received a new question "On a scale of 1 to 10 how happy do you feel right now?"  A lot depends on the mood one finds oneself in at a given moment. One resident wrote "Does it matter that I am a little manic right now?"  But he still gave himself a 10 - perhaps it was the medication. Another question was "How satisfied are you with your life in general?" One man gave himself only a 6 explaining "I would like to be three inches taller and speak Quechua fluently." The questions were drawn up by a Harvard psychology professor and the undertaking was endorsed by the mayor. In Britain and France similar surveys are being conducted primarily as a result of riots. I recall an old Harold Arlen tune "Happiness is just a guy named Joe" sung by Judy Garland some years ago. Anyway, have a nice day. (:
tjs
 Next - Cinco de Mayo

Vetting the Veep

It used to be that our Vice-Presidential candidate was chosen by the convention, sometimes in the smoked filled rooms. In recent years it seems the person on top of the ticket chooses the running mate.
 The job was primarily ceremonial - waiting in the Senate to break a tie vote or attending dignitary funerals.  Anyway, the level of vetting was not always adequate and we experienced some surprises.
1940 - Henry Wallace - had been Secretary of Commerce - but turned out to be too pink for the party and was dropped in favor of Harry S. Truman in 1944.
1944 - Harry S. Truman - (the S stands for nothing) - was an unknown haberdasher from Missouri and a member of the Prendergast political machine in Kansas City. But he surprised everyone with his spunk and spine in the decisions he made.
1952 - Richard Milhous Nixon - was a young turk Communist hunter from California - was accused of some funding irregularities and Eisenhower was ready to drop him from the ticket. Then came Nixon's famous Checkers speech when he mentioned his wife's "cloth coat" and this saved his career - for the time being.
1960 - Lyndon Baines Johnson - was as surprised as anyone when JFK offered him second place on the ticket - much to the chagrin of Bobby Kennedy - and we know how this decision changed history.
1968 - Spiro Agnew  - had some financial problems back in Maryland and eventually resigned in 1973.
1972 - Thomas Eagleton - during the campaign it was learned that he had undergone electric shock treatment and George McGovern dropped him from the ticket and had to scramble to find a replacement during the heat of a campaign.
 1984 - Geraldine Ferraro was the first female to appear on any ticket - she was criticized for her husband's business but hung on throughout the campaign with Walter Mondale.
1988 - Dan Quayle - Bush 41 surprised us all with this young fellow from Indiana.
2000 - Dick Cheney - was chosen by Bush 43 to vett candidates for Vice-President - after doing so he selected himself for the job.
2008 - Sarah Palin - perhaps the ultimate example of inadequate vetting.
Conventions still sixteen months away - still time to stir the pot.
tjs
P.S. Recently read where Julia Louis-Dreyfus (Elaine of Seinfeld) will soon have a new show on HBO titled "Veep" where she plays number two on the ticket and is disappointed in the duties assigned to the job.
Next - Be Happy

Thoughts at Random

I read recently where a certain school district was teaching fifth graders the game of bridge. The theory was counting card value would improve their math - playing with a partner would stress teamwork - and getting them away from a screen would improve their social graces. What a marvelous idea! A trifecta! When I was learning "beginners bridge" I happened to be on an ocean cruise and met three women of a certain age who were seeking a fourth for a bridge game. I quickly found I was in over my head. They were very gracious and I didn't get kicked under the table but I swallowed a large dose of humility. As to the fifth grade class the teacher had to explain that a bid of NO TRUMP was not a political statement.
tjs
Next - Vetting the Veep