Revenge is Sweet

My friend Joe B. grew up in South Philadelphia and was very street wise. After working with me for several years he left to rescue a family member who was losing money on a ARCO gas station on the north side of the city. Working twelve hour days and with his people skills he put the business on its feet. He even attracted commercial clients - one we will call Atkins Home Decorating - who brought in their van for service. Later they brought in a second van and soon ran up a mid-three digit bill - and then they stopped coming in. Phone calls to resolve went unanswered. The debt was high enough to hurt but not enough for legal action - so Joe was ready to write it off. Then one night he went home to New Jersey and his wife announced that a man visited that day and gave an estimate on new drapes. The letterhead read "Atkins Home Decorating". She said she liked the drapes and Joe said get them installed, give him a check and call me at the station. When all this was done Joe called his bank and stopped payment on the check - and waited. Several nights later his phone rang - the caller identified himself as "Atkins" and said there seemed to be a problem with the check Joe's wife gave him. Joe said "Do you know who I am?"
 There was a long pause - then Atkins said - "Oops, you got me" Joe said "I guess we're even." Atkins said -"I hope you like the drapes." This whole scenario recalled the famous Bogart line in CASABLANCA - "With all the gin joints in the world, she had to walk into mine." Or - with the thousands of homes in New Jersey, he happened to walk into that one. God is good.
tjs
Next - The Altar Boy (Mon.)

St. Patrick's Day

                                                                                  (Photo by Gerry Smith)

We are all Irish today! It's March seventeen and even the Chicago River is running green. Some cities paint green stripes down the middle of the street. And then there are the parades - with all the counties of Ireland represented by their societies - the fife and drums bands - and the pipers in their kilts. I recall them parading up Fifth Avenue in New York and up Broad Street in Philadelphia. But the most famous of all is reported to be in Savannah, Georgia. Now the search is on to try to find Irish soda bread in a northeast Florida town. But there are enough Irish pubs to keep the Guinness pouring, the fiddles playing and conversation and conviviality long into the evening. Hopefully, you all receive a dispensation from the Lenten fast as I claim as a senior. Erin go bragh! (Ireland Forever!)
tjs
PS - I found some soda bread.
Next - Revenge is Sweet

The Black Sheep

I recently introduced you to my former colleague, Cletus K. He must have been a hell raiser in his youth. His father's law firm was counsel to USLines so we knew he was "connected". When he was in his last year at Georgetown his father inquired what he wanted to do next. He replied that he would like to join his firm. The old man said "I have a stellar reputation in my field which I would like to keep - I suggest you find another endeavor." So Cletus bounced around, then joined the U.S. Air Force where he became a pilot of multi-engine propeller aircraft ferrying notables around the globe during WWII. He once carried Jimmy Byrnes who was Secretary of State at the time. His stories of flying into places  like Calcutta and Karachi are hilarious but too long to tell. In later years he wore a hearing aid and when he had his ears fixed he said he could hear the cat purring. His brother (the white sheep) became an Abbot in the Trappist Monks. They usually had their monasteries in the mountains - which happened to be near ski resorts. When Cletus would visit his brother he always brought his skis and some liquid anti-freeze which he shared with the monks and brothers who stopped making jelly to join in the celebration much to the consternation of the Abbot.
tjs
Next- St Patrick's Day

The Ides of March

 March 15th - this is the day that Caesar should have called in sick - and not gone to the senate. He thought his "friends"  had his back - but what he had was a "shiv" in his back. (And in his front) Fast forward to our own Senate where the call for civility is sometimes being ignored. The statesmen of old have long passed on. The tone is changing - although no knives have been flashed. One thing that fascinates me about Washington D.C. is that any members of congress who are either defeated or choose not to run do not want to go home. They all want to segue down to K Street to become lobbyists. No wonder housing is tight. New people coming in - old people staying.
March 15th used to be the I.R.S. filing date - now they give us until April 15th  - another month to chew our nails. Anyway, Spring is just around the corner.
tjs
Next - The Black Sheep

Writer's Block

 S.J. Perelman was one of my favorite humorists. A native New Yorker to the core, he had also done some script writing for the Marx Brothers, but his roots were in Manhattan. It was a time when many authors and writers were moving to Bucks County in Pennsylvania following James A. Michener and others seeking inspiration in the quiet wooded surroundings. But soon Perelman moved back to Manhattan and his friends were concerned for his safety and curious why he would leave the leafy Pennsylvania enclave.
His answer was that by going to Bucks Co. he "lost the New York idiom" and couldn't turn the phrase as he once did. Only a writer would understand.
tjs
Next - The Ides of March
(P.S. - The keeper of the blogosphere archives reminds me that today is my 125th posting. To date I have not encountered any "writer's block" so far. I'm sure that someday I will hit the wall.  But every writer likes to receive feedback. I hope you enjoy my writing and I appreciate that your time is valuable and limited.)

Sales Calls III

One of our young salesmen invited a V.P. to accompany him on calls in the Atlanta area. The client was a manufacturer/exporter of contraceptives and the Traffic Manager was a woman and to relax her visitors she threw a sample of her wares on the desk as souvenirs. She then said that she was soon to be married and might the ceremony take place on one of our ships with the Captain presiding? Our V.P. was not one to back off a challenge and so ordered the marine department to have the S.S. AMERICAN ALLIANCE
in the port of Jacksonville on the appointed day and also to request the Captain to perform the ceremony wearing his dress whites. And so the knot was tied and the happy couple came down the gangway clutching a ship's life preserver with our salesman showering them with rice. Now, the ALLIANCE has long gone to the scrap yard but we like to think that the "alliance" formed that day has endured.
tjs
Sequel - A manufacturer of condoms received an order from Russia with the size requested in centimeters but way off the charts. They puzzled how to treat it and called in the production manager
to review. He thought they might be bragging and suggested they fill the order as requested and stamp all the cartons MEDIUM.
Next - Writer's Block (Mon.)

The longest walk

As a young gofer one of my tasks was to escort our sea captains to the Customs House to perform the bureaucratic paperwork to enter and clear their ships. This Monday morning we had two ships in port and I was to take the two masters at the same time. What I did not know was that these two seasoned seafarers were not on speaking terms. They came from different backgrounds and cultures. Capt. Archie of the SCOUT was Scandinavian, very stoic - he had sailed before the mast on clipper ships around Cape Horn in the mid 1920s and proudly wore his Cap Hornier crest on his blazer. Capt. JJD on the PLANTER was a tall southern gentleman, had been thru Annapolis and was a bit eccentric in that he always wore sandals and grew flowers on the ship i.e. the PLANTER. We walked the four blocks in silence. But they did have one thing in common - they had both been prisoners of the Japanese in WWII and their differing experiences may have been the source of their enmity. In any event, words were exchanged on parting and it was the longest walk of my life.
tjs
Next - Sales Calls III