Monday, March 30, 2020

Easter Duty




As we approach Holy Week, a pastor in the area is pursuing a way to do drive thru confessions. Presumably the driver would roll down window, remove his/her mask and pour out any indiscretions to the padre also wearing his mask. Sort of like driving up to McDonalds - shouting your sins into the speaker then moving up to the window to receive your penance. Hopefully, you didn't get "The Stations of the Cross." I can just hear Ronald McDonald exhorting me to "Go and sin no more." - as he waves me thru.
tjs

Friday, March 27, 2020

Day's End


As they say "At the end of the day" TGIF.

NYT writes of the wild goose who raced a New Jersey commuter train for 20 miles and did it again the following day. If he was training for the Olympics, someone should have told him they were cancelled. This occurred long before California banned foie gras.

Yesterday was opening day for baseball but all diamonds were idle. Someone once asked the great Rogers Hornsby what did he do in winter when there is no baseball. "I'll tell you what I do. I stare out the window and wait for spring." So part the curtains and lift the blinds to improve my view.
tjs
(NYT)

Wednesday, March 25, 2020

Sheltering in place I


With serious discussions winding down, Nancy Pelosi said she would pray to Pope Francis for enlightenment. Her opposite number, Treasury Sec. M'nuchin, said he would pray for the economy. Pelosi thought he might have chosen something from the Old Testament.

POTUS has set Easter Sunday for his target date to reopen the country. Someone should remind him that Easter is a movable feast.

It is rumored that Bacardi and Tito's will be switching their line to hand sanitizer. So don't be surprised if your drink has a lower alcohol content.
tjs

Thursday, March 19, 2020

Tradition





Today, March 19, in addition to being the feast day of St. Joseph, is also the date that the swallows come back to Capistrano - the song written in 1940 and recorded by the Ink Spots and Glenn Miller. Of course, this is all contingent on the State of California letting them in. And one has to wonder where they spent the winter. Anyway, we are sheltering in place and practicing "social distancing" - until we meet again.
tjs

Monday, March 16, 2020

Virtual assistant


A writer was discussing her plans for her 50th birthday celebration but did not want to reveal her "new age". But a friend shouted into his house - "ALEXA, how old is ________? He had the answer in seconds.
Across the street a neighbor asked "SIRI, can you reproduce the sound of flatulence?" I am told she performed as requested. And I hear all these exchanges are in their memory boxes. So keep it down to a whisper.
tjs

Wednesday, March 11, 2020

No Seconds




NYT Food section reported on recent studies about last meals requested by prisoners on death row. Last October, in Missouri, an inmate consumed a gyro, a smoked brisket sandwich, two portions of fries, a cola and a banana split. With nary a belch he went on to meet his maker. Contrast that menu with Timothy McVeigh's request for a double order of chocolate chip ice cream. Over all the study determined that seventy percent of inmates requested fried foods. Sort of eating fried before getting fried. Ouch!
tjs
(NYT 3/11/20)

Thursday, March 5, 2020

What? No room service?




The above photo is a replica of Al Capone's luxurious cell in the Eastern State Penitentiary in Philadelphia. It comes to mind as Harvey Weinstein awaits sentencing and to learn of his next address. He has recently added to his team a paid professional known as a "prison consultant" whose duties include making sure the inmate understands the details of their "journey." - i.e. a shaving of the head and the wearing of handcuffs.
They are hoping he can be housed  in a facility with a protective custody unit apart from the general population. Mr. Weinstein also wants a prison that is close to New York City or to one with a significant Jewish population. Wow!
tjs
(NYT 3/5/20)