Arrivederci Roma

My friend Sam stopped in to his favorite barber shop for his monthly trim and exclaimed that he was planning a trip to Rome. The following exchange ensued:
B- (barber) - Where are you staying?
S - (Sam) We are booked in the Excelsior Hotel.
B - That place is over-priced and over-rated - you won't like it. What about dining arrangements?
S - We have a reservation at Alfredo's.
B - That's a tourist trap - and very crowded - you won't like it. What else are you doing?
S - We have an audience with the Pope scheduled.
B - You'll be behind the ropes - you won't get near him.
One month later Sam returned for his monthly cutting. The following ensued:
B - How was your trip?
S - Great - The Excelsior couldn't have been nicer - polite staff , warm towels, and Champagne in the room. And Alfredo himself tossed the fettucini at our table. And we had a private audience with His Holiness.
B - Wow! I'm impressed! What did the Pope say to you?
S - He asked "Where did you get that lousy haircut?"
tjs
Next - Mohandas K. Gandhi (Mon.)