Advice on Aging

Mayor Michael Bloomberg's mother passed away last week at age 102.  It is said she was alert and active til the end. The actress Kitty Carlisle who was married to Moss Hart lived to be 96. In a conversation with her the Mayor imparted his mother's advice on longevity: "Never eat anything that tastes good." and "When you lean over to pick something up, see if there is anything else you can do while you're down there." Sage advice from a Jewish mother.
tjs

Memorable Moments

I was recalling my first attendance ever at an opera at Lincoln Center in Manhattan. I was hosting clients and made the mistake of having dinner before the performance.  Opera music can sometimes be slow and sleep inducing and I was having a difficult time staying awake. Then from the wings came Fernando Bujones flying across the stage in his tights.  He leaped and twirled and I realized that this guy was a superb athlete. I lost my lethargy at that moment although I haven't been back to the Met since.

Again I found myself entertaining clients at a performance of "Hello, Dolly!" with original cast starring Carol Channing. She has a very unique voice and after curtain calls she came down to the footlights to talk to the audience for several minutes and no one  left their seats despite the usual rush to the exits to grab a scarce taxi in Manhattan.

"My Fair Lady" was perhaps my all-time favorite musical. The English actor Stanley Holloway plays a supporting role as Alfred P. Doolittle, father of Eliza. But midway in the show he does his signature number "Get me to the Church on time." He stopped the show and was called back for several encores.
He reprised the role in the movie and again it was a stellar performance from this old pro from the English music halls.
I hope each of you has the opportunity to experience such serendipity in your lifetime.
tjs

On the road again

Today we hit the asphalt heading north for a welcome change in weather and scenery. We always talked of taking the scenic route - perhaps via the Outer Banks of North Carolina where there is a restaurant up there that displays an assortment of USLines memorabilia. Or we might consider a detour up to Tennessee to visit Jack Daniels grave and pay homage which is what Bing Crosby always talked about. But we always end up on Interstate 95 that colorless but functional thruway and layover in North Carolina to sample their grits. We like the Hampton Inn chain for their wireless and complimentary breakfasts - then it's on to Virginia heading east on US 58 where nobody exceeds the speed limit as we pass thru many small towns. Finally over the Chesapeake Bay bridge/tunnel and up the eastern shore to Delaware and a welcome ferry ride of one and a half hours to the southern tip of New Jersey i.e. Cape May. We hope to be wired but you never know up there. So my posting may be spotty but with all good intentions.
tjs
Next - TBA

Family Reunion

Tomorrow we will be motoring north to escape the Florida heat and make our way to Cape May,  at the southern tip of New Jersey. It is actually below the Mason-Dixon Line and has a lot of Victorian charm.  Henry Clay was known to frolic on the beach and Wallis Warfield Simpson had debutante parties there. But we will meet up with family members and enjoy the salt air and the "waters". I recall going up to Saratoga Springs, N.Y. one August which is the horse racing season there. Besides contributing to the improvement of the breed we took time to sample their "waters" which are very heavy with sulfur with an aroma to match. Saratoga in August is when the merchants and hotels triple their prices but that's the only month the ponies run. They were horse racing there in the  Civil War era. When Humphrey Bogart was asked why he came to Casablanca he said he came for the "waters".  His questioner reminded him that they were in the desert. Bogey said "I was misinformed." It remains to be seen whether I will be "wired" in that coastal beach town or whether a neighbor will kindly share his facility.
tjs
Next - On the road again.

Still more Friday Humor

A woman driving thru New Mexico came upon a Navajo woman walking in the same direction and the motorist stopped to offer her a ride which was accepted. They drove in silence for several miles as the driver strained her brain for a neutral conversation subject. Suddenly, the passenger spoke up. "What's in that bag?" she asked. The woman said "It's a bottle of wine that I got for my husband." The Navajo lady replied "Good trade!" (Compliments of Marlo Thomas daughter of Danny)
tjs
Next - Family Reunion (Mon.)

Mannequin Mania

The N.Y. Times headline reads "Stores demand mannequins with personality (heads optional)" out with the generic, white, hairless, skinny mannequin pushed aside by provocative alternatives that entice shoppers with muscles, unusual poses and lifelike bodies. They are featuring pierced ears and articulated fingers for rings, etc. Nike's new mannequins are taller and in thirty-five athletic poses. Ralph Lauren is using the face of a model. Armani, Gap and other retailers are getting into the act. A mannequin manufacturer in Colorado has seen sales increase by 48%. Back in New York we had a gentleman who had a habit of calling people a "dressmaker's dummy". One day a madcap staffer took a call asking for a price to ship mannequins. He yelled over to my friend "John, this call is for you!"
tjs
Next - Still more Friday Humor.

WWII Baseball

The year 1941 was notable for many events. Ted Williams hit for average .406 which has never been equaled since. Joe DiMaggio hit in 56 consecutive games which also has never been equaled. And the Japanese attacked Pearl Harbor which put us into WWII. After that season many of the players enlisted in the services so that by 1942 season teams were straining to field enough players. The Cincinnati Reds signed a left-handed pitcher Joe Nuxhall then age 16 and still in high school. He actually pitched in a major league game in 1944 and remained in baseball for two decades. The St. Louis Browns had a one armed outfielder, Pete Gray, who would catch the ball, tuck glove under his other arm stump, extract the ball and throw it back to the infield. Earlier, we talked about Bill Veeck sending a midget up to bat in a game. So we had many patchwork teams with older players mixed in with military rejects. Connie Mack was the dignified owner/manager of the Philadelphia Athletics for many years. He always wore street clothes in the dugout with a high stiff collar and a stiff straw hat. Everyone addressed him as Mr. Mack. One of his wartime pitchers was a character named Bobo Newsom who was inclined to "hit the sauce". On a day he was to pitch Bobo showed up with a hangover and Mack put him in the lineup to pitch and left him in to take his punishment and would not take him out. The defense plants were working three shifts and to accommodate these workers some games were scheduled to start at 10:00AM which was a strange time but we kids loved it. Ted Williams was a Marine pilot who served four years during WWII and was called back during the Korean conflict so he probably lost an estimated six years out of his career. And that's the way it was.
tjs
Next - Mannequin Mania

Generation Gap

Prince Philip, consort to Queen Elizabeth of England, turned 90 last week. For the last fifty plus years he has walked two steps behind the Queen and made numbingly boring small talk with hundreds of strangers every day. To cope with such public role he "cracks jokes" or makes "rude remarks". Samples below:
-"Aren't most of you descended from cannibals?" - to a museum curator in the Cayman Islands.
- "How do you keep the natives off the booze long enough to pass the test?". to a Scottish driving instructor.
-"Do you still throw spears at each other?"  - to an Aboriginal leader in Australia.
-"You look like you're ready for bed" - to the President of Nigeria in his traditional costume.

The British P.M. praised the "Duke's unique turn of phrase. A compendium of Philip's best lines is written in "Duke of Hazard: the "wit and wisdom" of Prince Philip." Somehow that sub-title sounds familiar - like that on the cover of "The Eagle Blue Chronicles." Perhaps I should call in Scotland Yard.
tjs
Next - WWII Baseball

Barney Google

Today is my 200th posting and I thought I would salute GOOGLE who makes it all possible to BLOG out into the blogosphere - and it's FREE. So here's a chorus of the 1923 hit "Barney Google" with lyrics by Billy Rose:
-Barney Google with the goo goo goo-galy eyes-
Barney Google had a wife three times his size -
She sued Barney for divorce -
Now he's living with his horse -
Barney Google  - with the goo goo goo-galy eyes.

Billy Rose was an American impresario of the day and a theatrical showman and songwriter. He was famous for his water ballets where he would have his aquanauts swimming in synchronized motion. But this song wasn't one of his better efforts. After 200 posts I may find myself easing back to a weekly thought but we'll see how far it goes. But for now "Here's to Google"!
tjs
Next - Generation Gap

More Friday Humor

A woman was sipping a glass of wine while sitting on the patio with her husband. She said "I love you so much, I don't know how I could ever live without you." Husband replied"Is that you or the wine talking?" She said "It's me.......... talking to the wine."
tjs
Next - Barney Google (Mon.)

Monkey Business

The Associated Press article was datelined London and picked up by the N.Y. Times. It described a group of researchers in England trying to prove or debunk the theory that given an infinite number of monkeys and typewriters, they will eventually produce the complete works of Shakespeare. So they placed a computer in the monkey enclosure at an English Zoo home to six "macaques - and waited. Eventually, the monkeys produced only five pages of text, primarily filled with the letter S and then a few A's, J's, L's and M's were struck. A researcher was quoted "Another thing they were interested in was in defecating and urinating all over the keyboard. unquote.
So, they had a lot of S's - and a lot of Pee - at the end a few A's and M's - that spells SPAM. Thank goodness the send key jammed. Someone should have told them that the key in the upper right spelled "delete" - not excrete! Anyway, it appears Shakespeare is safe for a while. Oh, and the project was paid for by the Arts Council further giving the Arts a bad name.
tjs
Next - More Friday Humor

Shrines

Some famous shrines around the world: (as a disclaimer I have not visited these locations)

Grotto to Our Lady of Lourdes in France where it is believed the Blessed Mother appeared to Bernadette in 1858. Hollywood did a movie on the story starring Jennifer Jones. It is said there are many crutches, canes and braces hanging on the wall as evidence of presumed cures.

Our Lady of Fatima in Portugal where three children reported seeing visions of the Virgin Mary on more than one occasion in 1917. The last child only died in 2005.

The Shrine of Ste. Anne de Beaupre in Quebec, Canada is credited with many miracles again with the crutches on display. They say there is a stairway there where penitents go up on their knees to atone for their misdeeds. There was a story of a man doing just that and as he proceeded up he caught up with a woman two steps ahead of him. The hem of her skirt was caught in the heel of her shoe. She turned to the man and asked him to assist by lifting her skirt to release the tangle. He replied "Sorry, Lady, it's for doing THAT that I'm doing THIS!" Mea Culpa!
tjs
Next - Monkey Business

A Matter of Taste III

With some pundits thinking President Obama will need every vote he can get in November 2012, we thought it might be timely to repeat the following from blog of 6/14/11 to urge the Democrats to action.

Alferd E. Packer was a gold prospector who set off from Montrose, Colorado in February of 1874 with five companions, bound for the gold fields at Breckenridge. He arrived in Lake City, Colorado  on April 16 without any companions, and was subsequently tried and convicted of having consumed them. "There were only six Democrats in all of Hinsdale County" cried the outraged judge, "and you, you S.O.B. , you ate five of them." Packer served his time for cannibalism and won a reprieve in 1901 and lived out his years peacefully. But he has since become a beloved name in the world of institutional chow with Friends of Packer Clubs springing up around the country. They pass out cards bearing his likeness with the legend "Serving his fellow man since 1874." And one of the cards reads "He never met a meal he didn't like." So if the Democrats should ever lose a close race they can blame it on good old Alferd E. Packer.
tjs
PS - Wikipedia has a lengthy write-up on this fellow. The University of Colorado at Boulder has named their new cafeteria "The Alferd E. Packer Grill with the students' motto "have a friend for lunch." The food is rated three stars.
Next - TBA

Political Debate

Tonight, Monday, June 13 CNN is hosting a debate in New Hampshire for the Republican "varsity" presidential candidates. I believe  John King  will moderate. It is a crowded team of aspiring presidents. If they all do opening statements it could be a long evening. If it's only Q&A it could prove dull. But, if there develops hand-to-hand combat it could get interesting. Trump, Daniels and Barbour have dropped out. Palin is on the bus. That leaves the following cast crowding the stage:
(in alphabetical order)
1 - Michele Bachmann - Congresswoman, house mother, Tea Party favorite.
2 - Herman Cain - Business man, Pizza owner.
3 - Newt Gingrich - glib idea man but his staff abandoned ship.
4 - Jon Huntsman - dark horse, former ambassador to China under OBAMA.
5 - Ron Paul - Congressman from Texas - Libertarian - should stir things up.
6 - Tim Pawlenty - former Governor.
7 - Mitt Romney  - old hand - former Governor of Mass. - seems to be the one to beat.
8 - Rick Santorum - former Senator from Penna.

So that's the line-up - barring any walk-ons - I didn't give you any odds. But 8PM  EDT tonight - I wouldn't miss it.
tjs
Next - A Matter of Taste

Friday Humor

                              

Larry King told this one last week on The View:

Two men walking their dogs together -#1 has a German Shepherd #2 has a chihuahua. As they pass a restaurant #1 decides he is hungry and will attempt to enter the restaurant. The following dialogue ensues:
#2 - they won't let you in with the dog.
#1 - watch me as he put on a pair of dark glasses and entered and was quickly challenged by the matre'd.
-"but I'm blind" he said - so the M'd invited him in to be seated with his dog.
#2  seeing this also put on dark glasses and attempted to enter but he also was blocked. He said he was blind. The M'd said "But you have a chihuahua!" #2 exclaimed "IS THAT WHAT THEY GAVE ME?"
tjs
Next - Political Debate (Mon.)

What's in a Name?

When I was growing up the most common names in school were Biblical i.e. Peter - Andrew - James - John - Mary - Ann. Then during WWII many boys were named Roosevelt. In 2010 The Social Security Agency indicates the following most popular names currently are:
Male - Jacob - Ethan - Michael - Jayden - William.
Female - Isabella - Sophia - Emma - Olivia - Ava.
The only reason I mention these statistics is that I noticed at our parish last week four babies were baptized with the following first names - Addison - Cardin - Nori - Preston. There was a time when some babies were given the maiden names of a wealthy grandmother, but these current "monikers" will drive their teachers crazy. I read recently that one of the Schwarzenegger boys wants to change his surname to Shriver. Can you blame him? If you plan on becoming famous it helps to have a name that will fit neatly on the marquee.
tjs
Next - Friday Humor

Bewitched

The dateline reads Salem, Mass. and the N.Y. Times headline reads "Witchy Town's worry, do too many psychics spoil the brew?" Salem is the place in the late seventeenth century where people were falsely accused of "witchcraft", 150 arrested, 29 convicted and 19 hanged. It sounds incredible today but they were victims of mass hysteria and religious extremism. Anyway, the town's reputation has always attracted tourists and the curious and now the place is teeming with psychics - 75 at last count. One native thinks it's good for competition and wants Salem to become the "Las Vegas of psychics." The average fee runs $35. for fifteen minutes but a Chinese fortune cookie would be much cheaper.
tjs
Next - What's in a Name

A Duffer's Dream

Duffers and hackers take heart - someone has invented a golf ball that will not hook or slice (at least 75% of the time.) It's not done with magic - just the law of physics. It's called a POLARA. Its secret is an irregular "dimple" pattern. The downside is it is illegal so if you plan to join the P.G.A. tour or any tournament of the U.S. Golf Association you cannot use it.  Stamped on it is a small red arrow which should be pointed in the direction you are aiming. However, you would need to pick up on the fairway to redirect the arrow which is also illegal. One other downside is it will put teaching pros out of work. But the week-end golfers who have tried it are thrilled. Cost - $30. per dozen - step right up. No longer will you have to yell "FORE" to the gallery.
tjs
Next - Bewitched

Great Debates

In 1858 Abraham Lincoln and Stephen A. Douglas held seven debates vying for the Senate seat from Illinois. Douglas won the seat but Lincoln won the presidency two years later.
In 1960 there was the famous first debate between John F. Kennedy and Richard M. Nixon held in a TV studio. Don Hewitt of CBS offered both candidates his makeup facilities but Nixon declined and his five o'clock shadow coupled with the heat from the TV lights did him in. JFK looked cool and Nixon looked perspiring. TV viewers thought JFK won the debate but those listening on radio favored Nixon. Such was the power of television even back then.
Some years ago there was a debate in Philadelphia's Town Hall between the then sheriff Austen Meehan a blue collar type and the District Attorney Richardson C. Dilworth a blue blood who always wore double-breasted pinstripe suits custom made in Savile Row in London. They were both candidates for mayor of Philadelphia. Dilworth's wardrobe irritated Meehan and during the heat of the exchange Meehan blurted out "And I still get my suits at Robert Hall"(a discount retailer). Dilworth became our next mayor. The reference to wardrobe reminds me of Pat Nixon's cloth coat.
During the 1968 Democratic convention in Chicago  - a very difficult time with the VietNam war still in progress - the ABC network telecast a debate between Wm. F. Buckley and Gore Vidal with Howard K. Smith attempting to moderate. The exchange grew very heated and Vidal called Buckley a crypto-Nazi
 and Buckley called Vidal a "queer" and threatened to sock him.  This was an elevated school yard fight on live TV. (YouTube has a brief clip on the exchange but I witnessed it live.) And then there was Bush 41 in a standup group debate where the camera caught him looking at his wristwatch. This was before he said "Read my lips."
tjs
Next - A Duffer's Dream

Potpourri

A view from the sidelines:
- The Republican slate of candidates is getting so crowded that you will need a program to identify them all. Someone said the ideal slate might be Jeb Bush and Liz Cheney - you could save on bumper stickers.
- A husband and wife were arguing over who should make the coffee. Hubby said "You run the kitchen, you do the cooking so you should make the coffee." The wife replied "Read the Bible, how many times does it mention HE-BREW." I make the coffee in our house and set it on a timer so that the aroma wafts thru the house and is very pleasing to my wife. So that's one thing we do not argue about.

-A teenage boy asked his father if he could have the car. Dad said if you improve your grades, read your Bible and get your hair cut I will consider it. Several weeks went by and they met again to review progress. Dad said I see your grades are up and I note you are reading the Good Book but your hair is still too long. The boy said that Jesus, Moses and Samson all had long hair. And Dad said "Yes, and they walked everywhere!"
tjs
Next - Great Debates

Summertime

It feels like summer is arriving early in Northeast Florida and we are still three weeks away from the Summer solstice. The current heat wave reminds me of the summers of my youth growing up pre-WWII when no one had air conditioning. We kids would chase the iceman down the street and when he stopped to deliver a cake of ice for the grocer's cooler we would hop on his tailgate and scrounge a few slivers of ice to suck on.  If you could redeem a soda bottle for a nickel you could feast on a bottle of carbonated soda which was not really quenching. Now the coke in the little green bottles was only six ounces and only adults drank those. It was around that time that Pepsi-Cola appeared on the local scene with a twelve ounce bottle for the same nickel. It became a "no brainer". Pepsi began marketing aggressively and started using sky writing with the name outlined against the azure blue sky. And their jingle appeared on the radio "Pepsi Cola hits the spot - twelve full ounces - that's a lot! Twice as much for a nickel, too - Pepsi Cola is the drink for you." It was Madison Avenue in full throttle.
One summer my parents decided to make and bottle root beer in the cellar. They collected bottles, bought the root beer extract made by Hires and also the yeast. The bottle caps had those cork inserts and they obtained a gadget to affix the caps. When the elixir was mixed in a vat and the bottles filled they were placed in a dark recess in the cellar to "age" for a few weeks. At the appointed time they filled the ice cube trays with the dark beverage to freeze the cubes which we consumed while sitting on the stoop at dusk waiting for the fireflies to appear and lighting some "punk" to keep the mosquitoes away. WWII was just around the corner and life changed after that.
tjs
Next - Potpourri

George Plimpton

George Plimpton who died in 2003 was the long time editor of the Paris Review and a man who believed in "participatory journalism". As such he was curious how an amateur would perform in a professional setting. So began a long list of performances - sometimes on his own and often on assignment by Sports Illustrated.
 - He sparred in the ring with Archie Moore and Ray Robinson.
- In 1963 he went to training camp with the Detroit Lions football team whose stars included Bobby Layne and Alex Karras - both noted for their highjinks. Plimpton went in for four plays at quarterback and "got smeared". Also on that team was a halfback named "Night Train" Lane who was married to the singer Dinah Washington and played her records in the training camp at night. (Her rendition of "Manhattan" with a flute background runs over four minutes and is a gem.) But I digress. In 1971 Plimpton actually played in an exhibition game for the Baltimore Colts.
-He later donned pads and mask and played goalie on the ice with the Boston Bruins. He tried his hand at high level bridge, hit tennis balls with Pancho Gonzales and even worked with a high wire circus act.
He wrote thirty books, had eighteen cameo movie roles and eleven TV appearances. A documentary on him is due out this year. He even got a rare interview with Ernest "Papa" Hemingway on his fishing boat in Cuba. But of all his exploits the most daunting one was playing percussion with the New York Philharmonic Orchestra under Leonard Bernstein.  While there are time-outs in football and hockey there are none when the music starts and you CAN'T make any mistakes. He played the bells, the gong and the one that really scared him was the "triangle". Bernstein tolerated him for a month on the road. Plimpton was a unique literary character and he wrote of his experiences in his many books. His advice to writers was in three words "Keep a journal."
tjs
Next - Summertime