An American Icon

CBS has announced that the old warhorse, Andy Rooney, will be hanging up his spikes and glove at age 92 after 33 years and 1097 essays on "60 Minutes". His last appearance will be this Sunday, October 2nd at 7:00PM EDT (or at the conclusion of NFL football). He was a war correspondent during WWII and wrote for "Stars & Stripes". He started in TV in 1949 with Arthur Godfrey and progressed on to CBS in various writing and producing capacities. Wikipedia has a complete write up on him.  He has sometimes been described as a curmudgeon but I would like to call him a "codger" the description of which I have always liked i.e. "White hair conveys  a certain majesty - a touch of thickness around the waist connotes substance - and being a bit crotchety speaks of experience." With his slot open I was thinking of auditioning but I would need time to let my eyebrows get bushier. Meanwhile, watch for his swan song on Sunday evening - I hope they give him more than the usual three minutes. I wouldn't miss it!
tjs
Next - TBA (Mon.)

Did you know?

Starbucks has initiated offering wine and beer at a select number of stores in Washington state. And Burger King began selling beer at some upscale Whopper Bars. There is considerable downside to doing so i.e. getting permits, staff training, checking I.D., additional security, etc. I have enough trouble with Starbucks lengthy menu of lattes and grandes on the wall and now having a young barista hand me a wine list to peruse will surely hold up the line of anxious folks seeking their caffeine fix. We could precipitate an altercation. Another thing to consider is the majority of their traffic occurs before 2PM which makes for a bit early wine break. As for Burger King somehow "A hamburger, fries and a cabernet sauvignon" doesn't sound right. Let's see where all this goes but if the line isn't moving at your local Starbucks blame it on those wine connoisseurs up front.
tjs
Next - An American Icon

A Change of Venue

Some years ago when I was living in Philadelphia I visited a friend in Queens, New York. His father was a Lieutenant on the N.Y. police force with responsibility for the area around Fifth Avenue and St. Patrick's Cathedral - quite a busy area.  My friend and I decided to visit the Aqueduct race track in an effort to improve the breed. While there - among forty thousand fans - I recognized a neighbor from my home town who lived across the street. On returning home I remarked to the policeman parent of the coincidence. He asked only one question "Was your neighbor a banker?" I replied, "Why, yes, how did you guess?" He said that bankers never gamble or visit tracks in their home towns - it wouldn't look good.  Such is the mind set and the thinking process of an experienced policeman. Now not all gamblers are bankers and, thankfully, not all bankers are horse players.
tjs
Next - Did you know?

NASA?...NADA!

NASA announced that a dead satellite would be falling back to earth last Friday - but it must have had a mind of its own as it kept orbiting another 24 hours - they estimated it would fall into the Pacific Ocean and leave a trail of debris for 500 miles. They also estimated that the largest "piece" would weigh 330 lbs. and the odds of hitting or injuring a human was 1 in 3200 - which is lower odds than winning the Florida lottery offers. But they hasten to say that the odds of anything hitting ME is one in 21 trillion which is more reassuring. But no one is sure when or where its remnants landed so we will have to chalk it up to another mystery of space. Anyway we probably can put away our hard hats for now.
tjs
Next - A Change of Venue

In a Pig's Eye

Back on August 8th I wrote that "Pork bellies are down!" But now it appears that "pork bellies are gone!" - stolen - on the hoof. Farmers and sheriffs in Iowa and Minnesota are scratching their heads to explain the who and how of the missing pigs. One farmer lost 150 hogs and he lamented about the cost of the corn to fatten them up  for six months. One sheriff said "It's difficult because they all look alike." A few have taken to use tattoos for identification. These thieves "aint your old wild west rustlers." A hog ready for market can weigh 270 lbs and it doesn't come when called so it has to be persuaded. The puzzle remains unsolved at this writing but it sure puts another slant on the phrase "bringing home the bacon." WOO PIG SOOIE!
tjs
Next - NASA?......NADA!

The U.N. Week

This is the week of the United Nations meeting in New York when that city is at its finest. There will be the usual traffic jams and all dignitaries will be accommodated safely and protected by New York's finest. But who can forget:
- Nikita Khrushchev banging his shoe on his desk.
- Fidel Castro's first visit when he brought the live fowl into the hotel rooms.
- Col. Qaddafi of Libya negotiating with Donald Trump for real estate to erect his tent.
- Pres. Ahmadinejad arriving from Iran tieless who killed the necktie business the way JFK killed hats.

And now we have the Palestinians for the first time. It should be an interesting week.
tjs
Next - A Change of Venue (Mon.)

Autumnal Equinox

Tomorrow, Friday, September 23 is the Autumnal Equinox and I notice the sun beginning to head south. While it has become chilly up north, down here in Florida we are still seeing temperatures in the nineties.
 How hot is it? You may recall Ed McMahon asking that of Johnny Carson who always had a sharp reply. All I can say is it was so hot the other day that I found myself putting ice cubes in the bird bath. And I do really miss the change of seasons up north. So button up your overcoat and let's hope we have a mild winter.
tjs
Next - The U.N. Week

How Now Dow Jones

As a prudent retiree investor it behooves one to be concerned with the health of one's portfolio.  The financial markets have been roiling of late with almost daily roller coaster rides. Europe is worried about Greece, we are worried about Europe and everybody is worrying about us. Last Monday the Dow Jones indicator read DOWN 270 points in the morning finishing the day DOWN only 100 points, prompting the TV talking head to announce "we're off our lows." Wow, thanks for that false positive, I feel better already. But I keep hearing that phrase too often of late which usually means a bad day at black rock. Still I will try to get a good night's sleep and see what tomorrow brings.
tjs
Next - Autumnal Equinox

Bermuda

The following is excerpted from Eagle Blue Vol. 3 - In 1977, anxious to expand services, USLines decided to enter the Bermuda trade which was strictly a 20 foot container service and southbound only unless you wished to corner the market on onions.  We had on charter a Pacific feeder ship which we brought to the east coast to begin service. When she arrived New York she had a Chinese crew, twelve of whom had to be repatriated to Taiwan. Our personnel manager was assigned to bus these dozen under guard to JFK airport. They begged to stop in Chinatown to see the sights and smell the smells but their request was denied as our man knew they would melt into the Mott Street scenery and he would have to shanghai a different twelve but would make the number at Kennedy altho Immigration would be upset.
For the maiden voyage we would have a Sunday arrival as the Chamber of Commerce was alerted to plan festivities and our delegation would be offering a reception at the Princess Hotel. But on the Saturday before arrival a riot broke out in the town of Hamilton and a curfew was called for. A bad omen for the start of a service. Meanwhile, back at the Princess Hotel our small group was quarantined and the bar did a bang up business. The piano player was in his cups by 2100 hours and he announced that he was the fire warden for our floor. No one got much sleep that night. But be assured that the sand on Bermuda beaches is just like pink talcum powder.
tjs
Next - TBA

Passing Grades

Last week Rick Perry was revealing the poor marks he received in school - many Cs and Ds. It struck a compassionate chord with me. The only "D" I ever recall "earning" was in freshman Typing class. They let us use Smith Corona and Underwood units but I don't recall they trusted us with Remingtons. One frustrated lad held a typewriter out the window one day and the Christian Brother went apoplectic. They proceeded to teach us the keyboard makeup, where to place the fingers and NOT to look at the keys. But I couldn't take my eyes off the keys so I couldn't do the thirty words per minute they required - so there went my secretarial career.  There was one interesting drill "The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog." This phrase included all twenty-six letters of the alphabet and gave all ten fingers a workout. But here I sit six decades later still pecking with two fingers while that energetic fox keeps jumping over that lazy dog.
tjs
Next - Bermuda

Virtual Warfare

In the aftermath of the attack on our Kabul Embassy it appears that NATO is having an exchange with the Taliban via Twitter as reported by the NYTimes Sept. 15 by J. David Goodman. So it has come to that! Virtual Warfare in 140 characters. A NATO spokesman in Kabul said the exchange was part of a stepped-up campaign to fight what it perceives as "misinformation on social networks." WOW. This isn't Nintendo, boys and girls. The Taliban are returning our tweets. The exchange read like a schoolyard spat with each party trying for the last word. POGO used to say "We have met the enemy and it is us - and he's using OUR social media! As kids we used to say "sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never harm me." May all wars - just or necessary -  be fought via laptops at twenty paces.  (Anyone wishing to "follow" the Taliban (figuratively) their handle is @abalkhi) - but you may need an interpreter.)
tjs
Next - TBA Mon.

The Big Dig

When I worked in New York it seemed that the utility Con Edison was always excavating somewhere. The motto assigned to them was "Dig We Must".  I read a recent article about a trend in London, England. While there are skyscrapers in the commercial areas, it appears they have some zoning limits on the height of domestic residences. So if you can't build UP and the lateral confines are tight, some wealthy residents are digging DOWN. Some have been digging up their basements, going down as much as two stories to install indoor swimming pools complete with lighting. And some neighbors were not happy with all the truckloads of excavation passing by. It is amazing that the diggers were not obstructed by pipes or cables or by a water table.  But I did recall that the London Underground (subway) is deeper than any I have seen in the U.S.A. - which made for air raid shelters during the wartime "blitz". So if you need a break during the long, harsh London winter, perhaps your neighbor will invite you over for a swim.
tjs
Next -TBA

Anonymity

At Monday night's political debate Wolf Blitzer asked a rhetorical question of Ron Paul. "If a thirty year old man who declines to obtain health insurance suddenly gets seriously ill, who pays for his care?" Paul danced around the question mentioning his days as a hospital physician and the activity of the churches, etc. until Blitzer cut him off by asking "Should we let him die?" Several anonymous voices in the audience yelled YES!  I thought I was in the Roman Coliseum with all the thumbs pointed downward.
The following day, Tuesday, the N.Y. Times reported on a new reality show to appear on channel CW tonight, Wednesday titled H8R which is a play on the word "hater". I do not normally watch reality shows but this one has an interesting theme.  It plans to have celebrities confront their detractors face to face. The show is "a reaction to the bile, often anonymous, that cascades thru the Internet." "Haters are hiders" said the show's creator. (What a quote!) She goes on "It's easier to trash talk when you don't have to look people in the eye." The network president said the message of the show is "Think before you type and don't believe everything you read on a blog." (Except on The Eagle Blue Chronicles.) The full text of the article NYT Arts section Sept 13 writer -  Brooks Barnes.
tjs
Next - The Big Dig

The New Buzz Word

The N.Y. Times states that "Authenticity seems to be the value of the moment." Everyone wants to be perceived as "authentic" - see Michele Bachmann - Hillary Clinton - Katie Couric - Anderson Cooper. And even the Pope says "there is the challenge to be authentic." Being authentic is a must in social media. A professor's student told her "Facebook is me on my best day." There is nothing wrong with putting your best foot forward - just be authentic. I guess that when I used an alias to obtain a restaurant reservation I was being inauthentic. So "authentic" has become the new fad word and alphabetically it replaces that worn out "awesome".
tjs
Next - The Big Dig

Job Security II

We had previously written how tenuous and precarious is the life of a baseball manager. Baseball fans of a certain age may remember Birdie Tebbetts and Bobby Bragan.  Birdie's nickname came from his high pitched voice when he was a catcher for the Detroit Tigers. During the post WWII period there was an umpire who suffered dizzy spells from the war and fearing the loss of his job asked Tebbetts to assist him in calling balls and strikes which Birdie did with hand signals. Bragan was a disciple of Branch Rickey, had started as a shortstop and was converted to a catcher and had a reputation as a umpire baiter. These two characters crossed paths later as managers - Tebbetts preceding Bragan at Milwaukee circa 1963. When Tebbetts was departing Milwaukee he told his successor that when he arrived in the job he found two white envelopes - numbered 1 & 2 - in his desk drawer.  He was told that when the going gets tough and the team is in a losing streak and the fans are on you - to open the first envelope. The message inside read "Blame the press!" This should get you another three months of peace. But, inevitably, the problems will return and this time the owners will be breathing down your back. It will then be time to open the second envelope - which message reads "Start preparing two new envelopes for your successor." Bragan had been fired three times during mid-season - once in Cleveland after only 67 games so he knew the score. Job Security? As my friend Dan from Brooklyn used to say "Fuggettaboutit."
tjs
Next - The New Buzz Word

Looking Back

The tragedy that befell our nation ten years ago touched many people, some more deeply than others. In September 2001 I was living in Florida and my friend Whitey was on Long Island - both of us retired. Whitey's son Jimmy worked at the Cotton Exchange on the 8th floor of 4 World Trade Center. On that fateful morning neither of us was watching television.  Whitey's phone rang - it was his daughter - she said "Jimmy's O.K."  Whitey asked "Why wouldn't he be?" She told him to turn on the TV.  Jimmy's salvation was that the Cotton Exchange didn't open until 10:00AM and the planes struck the towers shortly after 9:00AM. His building was damaged and the Cotton Exchange had to relocate to Long Island City for the next several years. He was one of the lucky ones that day. May we never forget. I remember every time I pass thru airport security and have to remove my shoes.
tjs
Next - Job Security II (Mon.)

The Carousel

I read where New York City is installing a refurbished carousel on the Brooklyn shoreline between the Manhattan and Brooklyn bridges.  It survived a fire in Ohio and now the forty-eight wooden horses are ready to ride again under the name "Jane's Carousel" opening September 16th.  During my boyhood growing up every amusement park and most seashore resorts had a "Merry-go-Round" or Carousel. The inner circle of horses went up and down and had stirrups for your feet and a leather belt that could be either secured around the waist or used for gently urging the equine onward.  But the older kids chose the outer circle in an attempt to "grab the brass ring". Back then the operator filled a feeder arm with metal rings - 99% iron and 1% brass and if you reached out on every turn of the turntable you could grab a ring. If it was iron there was a receptacle into which you could throw it. If you were ever lucky to "grab the brass ring" you were rewarded with a free ride. The music was usually provided by a large Wurlitzer organ which gave the scene a circus atmosphere.  I would be surprised if the modern day Jane's Carousel is offering any brass rings.
tjs
Next - Looking Back

Homonyms

It was Mrs. Miller's fourth grade grammar class and she was drilling us on "homonyms" - words that sound alike but have different meanings. And she filled the blackboard with examples - Aisle/isle - altar/alter - pane/pain etc. Now fast forward sixty years when the lesson came back to me. This would be a time when the Internet was in its infancy and the SPAM was filling the "in"box. Much of it was of a suggestive nature before we had blockers in place to intercept. One such marketing teaser was suggesting "penal" enhancement with suitable instructions. I thought "these SOBS want to "penalize" me for some perceived anatomical shortcoming!" Come to think of it, I don't recall THIS word association being outlined on Mrs. Miller's blackboard.
tjs
Next -The Carousel

Mystery solved

While driving around our gated community I began to notice these blue plastic reflective plates imbedded in the roadway at random locations. At first I thought they might be checking for speeders. But I learned that the local utility company had provided them gratis and they have been placed adjacent to fire hydrants so that if the fire department is summoned after dark they will note the proximity of the nearest fire hydrant. Other communities might consider similar placement particularly in rural areas to guide the first responders. Just a thought for the day.
tjs
Next - Homonyms

Hair Today

I just returned from the barber shop, except it isn't about barbering anymore. There is no barber pole outside. It is a unisex hair salon. All the clippers are female, the magazines are a bit stale and there was some soft country on the AM radio - I knew I was in the south. I stop in periodically to have the salt separated from the pepper and feel a bit younger - and the senior prices are reasonable. Did I need a haircut? Well, I was growing a duck tail in back and in the old days we would say "I'd better get a haircut or buy a violin." But I sure do miss that aroma of witch hazel.
tjs
Next - Mystery Solved

FEMA

In the bad old days of Katrina FEMA took a lot of hits because they had political appointees in jobs that required Operations expertise. Lessons were learned and they have come a long way and acquitted themselves well in the recent hurricane IRENE. Their past recalled a situation we had during a hurricane coming thru Florida. Our port manager in Port Everglades, looking ahead leased two 5000 Gallon intermodal tanks and filled them with potable water which he intended for use by our employees and for the port facility. As the weather worsened FEMA appropriated our water for their priorities. Weeks after the storm we sought return of our empty tanks as the per diem costs were running up. We finally located them at the local ZOO! But that was the bad old days and FEMA has performed outstandingly this time and let's hope Congress doesn't cut them off at their knees.
tjs
Next - Twitter