Reunion

In a few days we will be heading north to attend a 25th reunion of USLines former employees. It will be a commemoration - but not a celebration - of the Chapter 11 bankruptcy of November 1986. The party will be held at an Irish Pub called the Shannon Rose and I expect that there will be a few tears flowing in the River Shannon that night along with a few Guiness flowing as well. After which Thanksgiving in New Jersey and expect posting will be sporadic thru the end of the month. Wishing all a Happy Thanksgiving with family and friends. Will see you in December.
tjs

Familiarity breeds contempt

When Winston Churchill was a young Tory he fancied a small blond mustache above his upper lip. It wasn't admired by all. After speaking at a town hall type meeting he was cornered by a woman who said to him "I don't agree with your policies and I don't like your silly mustache." He replied "Madam, it is unlikely that you should ever become familiar with either." He came by his wit early.
tjs
Next - Reunion

Floors, Please?

My friend the waterfront priest was making a sick call to a parishioner in a local hospital. He was wearing his black clergy garb and a Roman collar. It was a time when elevators had manual operators. As he entered the elevator and requested his floor, the operator turned around to size him up. The man must have been a preacher of sorts on Sundays so he said to the priest "Reverend, Ise the same as you is except I works during the week." The padre took it with good humor but wondered if he was getting off easy with only eight masses a week plus an occasional funeral and wedding  - and those 3 A.M. phone calls.
tjs
Next -  Familiarity breeds contempt

Veterans' Day

Today 11-11-11 is Veterans' Day - formerly known as Armistice Day after WWI - it is a Federal Holiday.
It is also my birthday. I told someone I was turning 82 but if I really turned 82 I would be 28 and that is the age of my son which makes it awkward for sure. There was a character in the "Lil Abner" comic strip - it might have been Marryin Sam  - who used to say "It's amusin but confusin!" And then I recalled an old song title "I'm my own grandpa". But my biggest fear is that the candle power on the cake will set off the fire sprinkler system and dampen the party. Anyway, here's to Scorpios all  - and Happy Birthday to me! (Forget about 9-9-9 - think about 11-11-11 - and let's salute and  honor our Veterans of all wars.)
tjs
Next - Wall Street Humor

But, it's not Cricket!

The game of Cricket is the national pastime of Pakistan and other former British colonies. But according to a New York Times article datelined Beijing, the Chinese have turned it into a blood sport whose origin extends back more than 1000 years nurtured by the Tang Dynasty. That is, they are training field crickets to become fighters and these cricket fights can command bets as high as $1600 by a cricket owner. A really formidable fighter can be worth more than a horse. Legend suggests they were first domesticated by Imperial concubines who kept trilling crickets at their bedside to stave off loneliness. One effective fighting move is "creep like a tiger, fight like a snake."  There is one province where the soil and climate seem to produce a particularly fiery breed - and the loudest chirpers are usually the fiercest. They are pampered with their diets and a bit of chili pepper will make them especially ferocious. But as our British friends might say "It's not cricket" - but this article was printed on a slow news day.
tjs
Next - Veterans Day

Directions

The Bronx is up and the Battery's down as per Leonard Bernstein's lyrics. We will be in New York soon after twenty years away and probably will be asking directions from passersby. It is not easy to find a native New Yorker - and one who speaks English. These folks always try to be helpful and even when they don't know the answer they will still give an opinion - and sometimes several will stop and render differing opinions. One time we flew into Philadelphia and picked up a rental car for a trip to South Jersey. I knew the route but the vehicle was equipped with a GPS instrument which my son activated and soon a formal female voice was giving me directions. When I deviated from same there was tension in her voice and I began to argue with this instrument. During the current political season we see potential candidates constantly changing direction - flip flopping, they call it.  It got so bad that one described an opponent as a "lubricated weather vane" - now that's changing direction!
tjs
Next - But it's not Cricket.

A Nocturnal Visitor

We live in a gated community - approximately 900 homes - with excellent security. One night my phone rang at midnight - it was a security person. He said "I'm in your driveway with my headlights on - your garage door is open - and a raccoon is picnicking in your driveway." The nocturnal forager had entered the garage and found the paper bag of cat food and was having a midnight snack while also spilling the contents on the ground. Coincidentally, some of our feathered friends - particularly Blue Jays, also fancy the dry cat food for its nutrients. But the black eyed raccoon is both bold and clever and his tiny fingered paws can get into anything.  Soon we will be moving north to more urban surroundings where we expect to find a different type of after hours activity. But remember to close your garage doors.
tjs
Next - Directions

That 3 A.M. phone call

Various election campaigns have featured the rhetorical question "When that phone rings at 3 A.M. who is going to answer it?" Recently, I introduced you to my friend the Port Chaplain, Father Tom W.  Some years ago he was stationed in a Philadelphia waterfront parish and on a snowy winter night his phone rang at 3 A.M. - it was a young man from his parish who said he thought his father had died sitting up in his favorite chair and could the reverend come right over to administer the last rites. The padre asked the young man "Have you notified your undertaker?" The lad said he was waiting until daylight so as not to inconvenience the funeral director. I can just see the veins bulging in the priest's neck as he said to the young man "You had better call that undertaker NOW or else they will need a sledge hammer to break your father in half!" So when that phone rings at 3 A.M. you KNOW who is going to answer it.!!
tjs
Next - A Nocturnal Visitor

Funny? or Punny IV

When William joined the army he disliked the phrase "fire at will".

Pencils could be made with erasers at both ends, but what would be the point?

Atheists don't solve exponential equations because they don't believe in higher powers.

An electrician claimed that his truck was a volts wagon.

A hungry traveler stops at a monastery and is taken to the kitchens. A brother is frying chips. "Are you the friar, he asks?" "No, I'm the chip monk" he replies.

It is tough to do inventories in Afghanistan because of the tally ban.
tjs
Next - The 3 A.M.  phone call (Mon.)
PS - Don't forget to roll back the clock Sat. night

An Officer and a Gentleman

This goes back to the time when the best way to get from San Francisco to Los Angeles was by train - usually overnight. This particular evening two mature women of a certain age embarked at San Francisco and found their way to their double compartment.  The train was fully booked  and the last passenger on board was a four stripe Naval Officer. When the conductor led him to his berth they found it occupied by the two ladies and the train was by then well under way. As the embarrassed conductor was trying to figure out what to do, one of the women spoke up saying "We are all mature adults, I'm sure we can work out some accommodation." The Captain straightened up and said "Madam,  I am an officer of the United States Navy and a gentleman - the arrangement you are proposing is totally unacceptable - one of you must leave"!! (My apologies if I have repeated this one)
tjs
Next - Funny? or Punny IV

Alone in the Crowd

Early in my career I was associated with the Port Chaplain in Philadelphia. Father Tom came out of the coal regions of Pennsylvania and his first assignment as a curate was to an Italian parish in South Philadelphia. This culture was foreign to him at first. At funerals he would hasten to the funeral home to pray over the body and as the cortege proceeded several city blocks to the church it would be preceded by a pick up brass band - something right out of New Orleans - but certainly not out of the coal regions.
 He later was assigned to a waterfront parish but still in South Philly where he became "spiritual director" to a string band club on "two street" - they of the Mummers Association. Once a year he would also bless the family pets. He enjoyed a cigar and an occasional cool beverage and late in the evening, with his collar off, he would rise to sing in his mellow baritone something like the following:
-I'm all alone in the crowd, all by myself in the crowd -
I used to know - just where I stood - now they're wearing high hats in the old neighborhood.
Sweethearts go walking in pairs - you'd think that the sidewalks were theirs -
Old friends seem to be - total strangers to me - for I'm all alone in the crowd.

The irony was that this gregarious clergyman was never alone. And he left his mark on the waterfront.
tjs
Next - An Officer and a Gentleman

Halloweens Past

This year we only had four groups knocking on the door - all accompanied by parents. But when I was growing up  we were on our own. The night before Halloween was mischief night - some people soaped windows - the worst infraction I had was tossing hard corn at windows and then the next night asking the same neighbors for "treats". We always made a beeline for the Spreckley residence - the husband was sales manager for Wrigley Chewing Gum which because of WWII was unavailable over the counter.
 Except that Mrs.Spreckley would insist that we perform to receive treats. My mother had taught me the Lord's Prayer in Gaelic (phonetically) which I volunteered to applause and a pack of spearmint. My Gaelic was as bad as my Latin but who knew back then. It was a Hallowed Evening.
tjs
Next - Alone in the Crowd