Old Cape May

I spent a long weekend in Cape May at the southern tip of New Jersey to check on the bird watchers as this is the season and the Cape is a flyover location. There were plenty of watchers but most of the birds had gone and were being welcomed down in Mexico. I didn't see even one double breasted seersucker. But the Blue Pig Cafe had a roaring fire going and they were serving a smooth chardonnay with a St. Francis label so I had a tasting in honor of the Pope. Cape May is a small town with only one gas station and N.J. is a full service operation. The attendant apologized for keeping me waiting - almost floored me. I was also pleasantly surprised that the price of regular was only $3.18 per gallon having paid $3.43 in the city. He blamed the government shutdown when no one was driving to work and inventories built up. One can see the rippling effect right down to the gas pump.
tjs

Step Right Up

The episode with the circus recalled that my closest brush with the animal kingdom was of the stuffed variety. While working the booking desk in Philadelphia I received a call from the owners of a "Ma and Pa" carnival group who wanted to send a trailerload of stuffed teddy bears to Honolulu for the Hawaii State Fair.  Hawaiian rates were negotiable and we agreed on $3000. for trailer and contents - PREPAID. On the appointed day - Friday - they arrived at the pier and the "Ma" half of the partnership came into the chief clerk's office with a large carpet bag filled with 3000 crumpled up dollar bills which she proceeded to dump on his desk. Several longshoremen lingering there were bugeyed - the banks back then closed at 3PM - and the petty cash drawer couldn't accommodate this windfall so the poor cashier had to babysit it at home over the weekend. Talk about money laundering! But when all is said and done there is nothing like cash on the barrel - or on the Chief Clerk's desk!
tjs
(Above excerpted from EagleBlue No. 12 - March 2, 2006)
(Blogger will be out of pocket for a week as we head down to Cape May to check on the bird watchers as this is flyover season.)

Still More Pondering

It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end - someone from California will try to pass them.
If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

The things that come to those who wait may be the things left by those who got there first.

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day - teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.
Flashlight: a case for holding dead batteries.

God gave you toes as a device for finding furniture in the dark.

When you go into court you are putting yourself in the hands of twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.
End
tjs

Pachyderms on Parade

My former boss at USLines was stationed in Liverpool circa 1938 when he received a phone call from a lady who owned a small circus which centerpiece included three elephants. She said that we had brought the troupe eastbound several years before and as Hitler was heating up Europe it was now prudent to head home so a booking was arranged. We were then berthing in the Mersey area inside a lock which required a timed tidal sailing. At the appointed day the troupe arrived at the quay and we had to jury rig a special gangway. The mahout handling the elephants said they would only move up the gangway - "trunk in tail" as they were trained to do in their act. We began to reinforce the gangway. So number two trunk entwined with number one tail and likewise three with two. With all three now heading up the gangway it began to sway which spooked number two who let go of number one tail. This was a signal in their act for number one to turn around who now proceeded to try to get DOWN the gangway. Confusion reigned and we were faced with losing our tide - so they undocked the vessel - moved her downstream - vanned the elephants down the road to meet her where the freeboard was lower and practically walked the beasts on board. When New York received the sailing telex including the animals they diverted the ship to Boston. Cowards!
tjs
(Above repeated from Eagle Blue No. 12 March 2, 2006)

Among Friends

We are party to a real estate matter being handled by a respected estate lawyer who happens to be a Quaker so one can be reassured that all dealings will be transparent, above board with complete fair play in evidence. I recall the story of the elderly Quaker lady riding a crowded bus where she was forced to be a strap hanger in front of two young men seated who were busily chatting and working their hand helds. Looking down at them she whispered in her Quakerly voice "Thee forgets thyself!"
Amen.
tjs

Double Indemnity

The following is not for the faint of heart. Just read where the Iranians hanged a drug felon, let him dangle twelve minutes in a noose then shipped him off to the morgue. The next day the morgue found him to be breathing so the presiding judge ordered him hospitalized for rehanging "once medical staff confirm his health condition is good enough." A human rights advocacy group said the order "does appear to be setting a precedent to the best of our knowledge in cases of hanging." Now, the Iranians (Persians) have been around for several thousand years - you would think they would have their routine down pat by now.  But they are believed to have executed 508 people in this year alone so it is possible the hangman suffered from fatigue. The least they could have done was measured the poor guy's collar.
tjs
http://www.nytimes.com/2013/10/18/world/middleeast/after-man-survives-hanging-iran-plans-a-second-attempt.html?ref=world

Trick or Treat

In over 650 postings I have refrained from waxing political -but recent events have pushed me over the edge. I just heard that the most popular Halloween mask this year will be that of the junior Senator from Texas. I must admit he does have an uncanny facial resemblance to the Occupy Wall Street harlequin. Those masks must be in abundant supply.
And the former part time governor of Alaska has considered the government shutdown to be an impeachable offense. Once upon a time there was a former congressman from Georgia who thought that Monica Lewinsky was an impeachable offense  - a "high crime and misdemeanor" - we know how far that went. It looks like we are afloat until the next crisis - but I did receive my S.S. check this week and it didn't bounce. Are better days ahead?
tjs

More Pondering

The following from a reader's reader:

Light travels faster than sound. That is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

He who laughs last thinks slowest.

A day without sunshine is like, well, night.

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.

More later.
tjs

A Philly Landmark

After several years being shuttered, we learned that Old Original Bookbinders Restaurant is scheduled to reopen under new ownership. This landmark in Olde City was a favorite watering hole for steamship people, particularly after John Taxin the produce man took over in the 1950s. We had many Christmas Eve luncheons there with an accordionist serenading the crowd in the bar. My colleague, Big Mike, tried to con the accordion man to visit our pier to play for the longshoremen. Back in those days we at USLines were entrusted to carry U.S. Foreign mail to Europe. While entertaining Post Office employees was officially taboo, we found that their New York superiors were amenable to a few perks. Late in the season Notre Dame came into town to play Penn and this was a hot ticket and we invited our Postal friends to attend. The night before there was a heavy snowfall and the stadium was frigid at game time. With Johnny Lattner and Notre Dame running away with the game, by the third quarter Big Mike hustled our guests into taxis and off to "Bookies" they went. The brandy flowed and the lobsters clawed and at banquet's end the waiter dropped the "tab" on the table. A New York hot-shot picked it up - looked at it - and quickly dropped it. Big Mike called the waiter over, gave him his business card and a twenty dollar bill and held his breath. With smiles all around they headed for the exit and the train back to New York and Monday morning Big Mike had his first credit card from Old Original Bookbinders. Those were the days!
tjs

The Plaza

I read that last week they held a "roast" for Dick Cheney at the Plaza Hotel in New York City.  The usual suspects were in attendance though the press was not invited. Can only hope they checked their firearms at the door. As we have no first hand witnesses, we can only depend on little Eloise eavesdropping from her perch on the wall - but she may have covered her ears.
The Plaza - before her conversion to partial condo use - was a comfortable meeting place - with afternoon tea in the Palm Court and a string ensemble playing Viennese waltzes. The Oak Room bar was a more masculine watering hole. One late night our group arrived there with clients in tow and the room was packed. With no fanfare the maitre'd magically produced a table for eight. Never underestimate the talent and finesse of a New York maitre'd. I hope they didn't burn the roast - perhaps just a bit of a singe.
tjs

What's in a Name?

The Vatican struck a commemorative medal in connection with the ascension of the new Pope Francis to the throne of St. Peter. But the inscription in Latin around the edge misspelled the name Jesus - substituting an L for the J. They printed 6000 copies in gold, silver and bronze and four were sold before the error was caught.  When I worked in New Jersey I acquired a new boss with a multi-syllable surname of Mediterranean extraction. For the first week I made sure I could spell and pronounce his name correctly. Some years ago there was a story making the rounds in Washington, D.C. when a particular government department was having a rapid turnover at the top. A supervisor on his way to lunch instructed his secretary "If the boss calls, get his name!" Too bad the Romans didn't have SpellCheck..........mea maxima culpa!
tjs

Current Currency

As a child of the great depression I developed a considerable respect for money. With my first paper route I bought the papers for two cents and sold them for three cents - a fifty percent profit - but not enough volume. In the shipping business I was adept at dealing with British sterling - pounds - shillings and pence which denominations were in twelfths. Cross border travel in Europe always left one with a pocket full of strange coins i.e. marks, francs and guilders. And you might need a wheel barrow to handle the Italian lira of the time. But I was always partial to those presidents' pictures - even though Hamilton and Franklin never made it to the White House. The Franklin 100 note has become the bill of choice by the global drug lords so the U.S. Mint is reissuing this one with special paper and bells and whistles built in. It's "like" playing the game "Whack a Mole" for as we take action to block, the bad guys come up with another gimmick i.e. the BITCOIN which Wikipedia describes as a Cryptocurrency - dealt peer to peer - with no central authority to eliminate the risk of devaluation. Years ago we had a saying "Don't take any wooden nickels." Now the advice is "Beware of crypto Bitcoins."
tjs

Cheating

The troubling subject of cheating has been in the news lately:

-Up to seventy students have returned awkwardly to an Ivy university after a year suspension for cheating.
-NY Times science section October 8th discussed the thrill some people get from undetected cheating.
-And finally there was the article on cheating spouses which indicated that the males were partial to Guinness. I presume they meant the beverage and not the Record Book. This was probably a preference that Budweiser and Coors would gladly pass up.
tjs
http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/10/07/in-bad-news-cheating-feels-good/vv

Dogs are people, too

Continuing in a canine theme, a loyal reader has commented on the NY Times article as titled above wherein a neuro-scientist has trained a dozen dogs to enter a MRI scanner and look directly at their brains. He treated them as persons, had a consent form signed and had them wear earmuffs to protect them from the decibels the scanner makes. I have always thought that dogs were pretty smart. There is a story about a ship at sea that picked up a blip on the radar of an unidentified vessel approaching on a collision course. Radio contact was not returned and a few blasts on the whistle had no effect. The captain took evasive action and as the mystery vessel passed close to her path he could see no one on the bridge except a black dog running about after which a person appeared to take the helm. It was presumed that the dog was trained to awaken the master when a ship would approach. Blackie would have been a good candidate for the MRI project.
tjs
http://www.nytimes.com/2013/10/06/opinion/sunday/dogs-are-people-too.html?pagewanted=all

One Potato, Two Potatoes

In break-bulk days (pre Container) U.S. Lines put the S.S. AMERICAN JURIST into Searsport, Maine to lift a cargo of potatoes in sacks to feed the post war German populace. With a considerable number of sacks to be handled manually, the Searsport stevedores rigged up a slide/chute with a counter to slide the sacks down into the hold. Upon arrival in Rotterdam it was noted there was a shortage of several bags on outturn. It was then that a ship's crewman remembered that he witnessed several Maine longshoremen sliding down the chute thereby counting themselves as sacks of potatoes. Mystery solved! So whether you like them baked, mashed or fried - they are just plain spuds.
tjs
(Above excerpted from Eagle Blue Vol. 2 No. 16 -January 29, 2007)

Mondo Cane (A Dog's World)

Our apartment complex has recently become the home of several small canines. We have noticed that one of these pets sets to barking every day at noon - presumably to be fed or walked. We can set our clocks by its call. It reminds me of the story of another apartment dweller who worked nights and slept days. His neighbor in the adjoining flat worked days and owned a large dog who needed a daily run. He noticed that his pet grew agitated when the phone rang and it proceeded to run thru the limited area until the ringing stopped. To offer the animal a minimal dose of exercise, he decided to telephone his apartment every day around noon, give it at least ten rings and know that Bowser was taking his laps around the sofa. Of course this activity disturbed the sleeping neighbor who finally bribed the super to permit him entrance next door just before noon and after five rings on the phone he picked up the receiver and breathed heavily into it and then replaced it in its cradle. For some strange reason his sleep was never again disturbed. And they lived happily - and neighborly - ever after.
tjs

Supply & Demand

A while back we wrote of the bike racks appearing in Manhattan as part of a Bike Share program. We then read about two men arriving simultaneously at a bike rack and there was only one cycle available. Both were in a hurry but being reasonable fellows, one suggested they solve the dilemma by falling back on the children's game of "Rock, paper, scissors" with the winner taking the bike. And so it was that rock vanquished paper with rock riding off downtown leaving paper in the gutter waving for a taxi.  Would that our Washington, D.C. representatives could settle their disputes so amicably. So it's off to the playground, children - but be careful with those scissors.
tjs

Heartache & Tears

At first it was sequestration - now they are choking the nation.
Portfolios shrinking - ship of state sinking - what are they thinking?
Red states bleeding - blue states pleading - where is this leading?
Confusion & delusion - but hardly amusing!
Where have all the statesmen gone?
tjs

No Comment!

Many writers and publications are beginning to discourage comments to their articles due to the increase in incivility rampant on the Internet. The latest to shut off comments is Popular Science Magazine who said that vicious, insulting or ignorant "on line" comments can pollute otherwise intelligent discussions and undermine public understanding. The violators have been described as "trolls" and "spambots". Wikipedia states that "troll" comes from Norse mythology and Scandinavian folklore so we can see that these individuals are not living in the real world. Further - a "troll" sows discord to provoke argument. The "spambot" is a new one for my ever expanding vocabulary. Just an automated computer program designed to assist sending SPAM. It seems that everyone wants their fifteen minutes of fame but they want it every day.  What did these "people" do before there was an Internet?  Archie Bunker might have told them to "stifle it" - or perhaps they ended up kicking the dog.
tjs
http://www.nytimes.com/2013/10/01/science/comment-ban-sets-off-debate.html

Vocabulary

A new word (for me) has recently appeared in social media - "twerking" - it can be a noun or a verb.
Oxford Dictionary describes it as "Dancing to pop music in a sexually provocative manner." Wikipedia is further descriptive.  It takes me back to early visits to the Caribbean where the calypso singers all had risque lyrics filled with double entendre.  The Mighty Sparrow was a headliner in the carnival tents in Trinidad. One of the many calypso numbers they sang sounded something like this:
-"Bock to bock - belly to belly - we don't give a damn - we done dat already -
-"Bock to bock - belly to belly - it's the Goombay Jamboree."
I had the good fortune to be in Port of Spain, Trinidad at the time of a Carnival rehearsal - the sun was hot, the rum was flowing and the many steel bands (i.e. Esso) were beating their infectious rhythms. So it seems that they were twerking down there long before it hit Manhattan.
But I never could get under that limbo bar.
tjs