Man's best friend

From the NYTimes Bucks blog - State Farm Insurance says it paid over $109 million in liability claims for about 3,800 dog bite claims nationwide last year. Industry wide the number of claims is estimated at 15,000/16,000 annually. The average cost per claim runs $29,000. If your dog bites someone your premium may go up - or your dog may be excluded from coverage. Behavior classes may be encouraged. Our female Scottish terrier bit everyone she ever met but since most victims were relatives we avoided being sued. One time we considered an experienced dog sitter who bragged that he had handled over 200 dogs. He attempted to pet our Scottie from back to front which was not a good idea. I offered him a band-aid and we never saw him again. There is a saying around Washington, D.C. "If you want a friend, buy a dog.!" - But it could be costly over the long run.
tjs
Next - TBA

Dead Duck

A bit of Friday humor suggested by a family member -
A woman had a pet duck who suddenly was taken ill and she rushed it to the veterinary who did all he could but the bird expired. The distressed owner was not satisfied with the verdict and requested a second opinion. The vet said he would consult with colleagues and produced a Labrador retriever to sniff the bird. The dog came to the same conclusion and walked away. The vet then brought in a Calico cat who also agreed with the earlier findings. Finally, the vet served the owner with a bill for $125. which she thought was exorbitant. The doc said his fee was only $25. - the balance was for the LAB report and the CAT scan.
PS- But he did offer a referral for a taxidermist. 

• tjs

Memorial Day

The Memorial Day holiday weekend comes early this year. Originally the holiday was known as Decoration Day when we decorated the graves of our war veterans. In the New Jersey beach resorts it opens the vacation season. Bogart said he came to Casablanca "for the waters - but he was misinformed." We will be leaving for Cape May, N.J. for the ocean breezes and do not expect to be disappointed. As we used to say on the streets of Philadelphia "We're goin' Dinah Shore!" See you in a week. Happy Holiday.
tjs

Hawaii Calls

My son and his new wife honeymooned in Maui, Hawaii and for the first six days we did not hear from them which is not unusual for honeymooners and when you consider that the Hawaiian alphabet only has thirteen letters  he really did not have an opportunity to say much. Fifty years ago I was in Honolulu standing below the Aloha Tower preparatory to sailing back to the "mainland" on Matson Line's SS LURLINE. It was BOAT DAY. The Royal Hawaiian Band in their starchy white uniforms were playing island music and a "bloody Mary" type singer was on the mike and there was not a dry eye to be seen. The practice back then was to hurl your flower lei on the water as the ship rounded Diamondhead with a vow to return. While I never did get back I am happy that my son had his opportunity to visit this island paradise. Aloha!
tjs
Next - TBA

Politics isn't Beanbag.

The current campaign finance law is producing more and more SuperPac money onto the scene. The latest involves a neophyte billionaire who decided he wanted to make his mark on the national stage and he allotted ten million dollars to finance a negative ad  against the President and hired an experienced political ad man to draw up a proposal. Apparently he got more than he bargained for as the GOP candidate was critical of it and distanced himself from it. The fallout continued as one of the billionaire's sons happens to be the chief executive of the Chicago Cubs baseball team who is in negotiations with the City of Chicago for upgrades to the Wrigley Field baseball stadium. The mayor of Chicago just happens to be a close friend and former colleague of our President and reportedly was furious that the "family" would stoop to such an enterprise and refused to take the team owner's calls.
One writer opined that to be on Rahm Emanuel's black list was not a comfortable place to find oneself.
As if the Cubs didn't have enough trouble winning ball games.
tjs
Next- TBA

Follow the Money

A recent article in the NY Times was about a religious order, the Passionist Fathers, who were enduring financial problems forcing them to sell off property. In an effort to recoup they invested $50,000 in a Broadway musical "A Leap of Faith" about a swindler's redemption. The show opened on April 26th and closed on May 13th after only 20 performances. Rather than a "leap" it was more like a "broad jump" and they might have had better luck with the lottery.
In an unrelated news event J.P. Morgan, the investment bank, just announced a loss of two Billion dollars on a risky transaction. Their chairman had to address the shareholders this week to explain.
Among the shareholder questioners was a priest member of the Oblates of Mary Immaculate (O.M.I.)
who apparently had invested in J.P. Morgan, a bank "too big to fail" or as one pundit put it "perhaps too big to manage". While these two events are unrelated it illustrates where these religious orders are placing their bets. Perhaps they could use a risk management department. I would like to assist the good Fathers but my portfolio has taken a bruising of late.
tjs
Next - TBA

Snooze, you lose.

Flash! The Roger Clemens perjury trial is dragging on into its fifth week and the judge just dismissed two jurors for falling asleep. He then admonished the rest of the jurors to "Stay alert. We don't want to lose anybody else." He even provided free coffee in the jury room. I don't believe they are dozing at the John Edwards trial in North Carolina which is also plodding along.  The difference? perjury versus politics and sex. On my only call to jury duty I wore a three piece suit and was summarily rejected by the defense counsel. I normally don't handle rejection well, but they were only paying $20. per day so I ate my brown bag lunch and went home. But I felt I could have stayed awake.
tjs
Next - Follow the money.

Cash or Credit?

We were in Houston, Tx. last weekend for a family wedding. As the clan was gathering, one family member arrived late at night and in the absence of the airport shuttle, opted to take a taxi to the hotel.
It was quite a distance and the fare was negotiated at $60. The cabbie said he preferred cash but would accept a recognized credit card and they were on their way. At destination an AMEX gold credit card was presented and the driver's receipt was one of those old tear out paper sets with the carbon paper insert. He ran it thru his "equipment" and it included name, credit card number and amount. But when he went to recover his money from AMEX his equipment jammed and he was out $60. After 36 hours had elapsed he returned to our hotel seeking his passenger for reimbursement but the "fare" was by then enmeshed in the wedding activities and the hotel consierge was enlisted in the search. Unsatisfied, the cab driver contacted the local police and two of Houston's finest appeared with weapons holstered seeking redress for the poor driver. In due course cash was produced, paper receipts voided. All's well that ends well and a  perp walk in handcuffs thru the lobby was avoided.
tjs
Next - TBA

Salt & Pepper

After twenty years in Florida patronizing unisex hair salons I am back in Penna. and decided to try an old fashioned barber shop (not shoppe) once again. Andre was born in Sicily and has been cutting hair for forty years. He has a bare bones tonsorial parlor - very masculine - lots of talcum powder but no witch hazel - I used to love the aroma of witch hazel. I asked him to pluck out the salt and leave the pepper. He did the best he could. Anyway, he has me properly groomed and as the father of the groom I will emulate Dean Martin who sang "I'm goin' to Houston, Houston, Houston."
See you in a week.
tjs

White Lies

NYTimes.com/bits writes of a new study by Consumer Reports that indicates about one-fourth of Facebook users in the USA lied about themselves to protect their privacy. With a total USA audience of 157 million that means that approximately 40 million of "us" are "fudging" our resumes. Does this fiction include gender, age, sheepskin, hobbies, occupation or whatever? Personally, I think there is too much personal information and dialogue on the "f" screen but maybe I shouldn't worry since 25% is false - but privacy? fuggeddiboutit! In the same edition it was reported that several Tech Execs were called out for "inaccuracies" in their curriculum vitae.  Does this all mean that the people I have friended are not really my friends after all?  Heartbreak!
tjs
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Driver Alert

When I played stick ball in the streets of Philadelphia we used a manhole cover for home plate. Our biggest concern was that the bakery horse and wagon might pause on top of home plate and our game might be "called". We did not figure on thieves stealing "home". Con Edison has 200,000 manholes in the Metropolitan New York area. They have recently reported an increase in theft of their metal discs - with thirty being stolen since March.  The thieves wear reflective safety vests, put out orange cones and use jack hammers - and appear legitimate. The going price as scrap metal would be only $30. but ConEdison spends $200. on replacement. However, until they are replaced there is a void in the street and a danger to drivers and pedestrians. The manufacturer recalled thieves overseas replacing them with styrofoam over the hole. Heaven forbid you hit one of those at 40 MPH.
tjs
Next - White Lies

Texas

We are flying to Houston, Texas next week for a family wedding. This will be my first visit to the Lone Star State. The city is named for that great soldier and statesman, Sam Houston. Down there I believe they pronounce it "hewstun" while in Manhattan the street bordering Soho is called "howstun" - different vowels for different folks. My previous employer still has operations in that port and an earlier employer, U.S. Lines used to call their vessels at Houston, Galveston, Baytown, Corpus Christi along the Texas coast, so I should have friends there if I ever need to make bail. The visit should also ease my curiosity whether a ten gallon hat really holds ten gallons or has there been any shrinkage along with the economy. I will be out of circulation before and after Mother's Day so this is my reminder to remember Mama be she living or deceased.
tjs
Next-TBA

Twin Spires

This Saturday, May 5th, will be the 138th running of the Kentucky Derby at Churchill Downs. There are twenty-one thoroughbreds entered which is a rather large field and it will look like a cavalry charge
as they leave the gate. These are all three year olds and doubtful any have been tested at  ten furlongs which is the Derby length. With all the jockey silks it should make for a colorful spectacle. And if your choice is HANSEN he should be easy to follow in the crowd  as he is an uncommon white colt. Anyway, hope for good weather and a dry track and go easy on the mint juleps.
tjs
Next -Texas

The ATM Machine

What do you do in the wee  hours of the morning when you find you are short of cash to exit a downtown parking garage? Why you turn to the convenient ATM machine in the corner which several thieves did according to the Chicago Tribune. But apparently they had forgotten their PIN and since they were driving a U-Haul they decided to take the "machine" with all its contents. You might say they  made quite  a "Haul". One hopes this doesn't spawn a bunch of copy cats. But we can expect all our Andrew Jackson twentys to be scrutinized for the near term.
tjs
Next - TBA

Litiginous lawyers

In 2007 a large containership departed Oakland California in dense fog with a bay pilot on the bridge. The forward lookout was in the galley instead of being on his watch. The vessel veered off course and slammed into the Oakland Bay bridge resulting in considerable oil spillage. In the inquiry that followed it was determined that the Bay Pilot was under medication that may have impaired his performance. Civil settlements followed for the environmental damage and for repairs to the bridge. Now in 2012 I read where the ship owner is suing the pharmacists who provided the medication taken by the Bay Pilot.
This would appear to be a stretch - but what about the physicians who issued the Rxs? This case raises the eyebrows - I would hope the court would dismiss it - but it shows the length that imaginative lawyers will go to push the envelope. Stay tuned.
tjs
Next - The ATM Machine