Baby Boomers

People born post WWII between 1946 and 1964 are considered the Baby Boom generation. Many of them are approaching their eligibility for Social Security benefits which some thought might create a strain on the treasury. Now a bit more financial pressure is just around the corner as the cast of the Peanuts cartoon will reach sixty-five in October - particularly the core
eight of the total nineteen. Perhaps Linus will finally foresake his security blanket for a different kind of security. And Snoopy at sixty-five is really 455 in dog years. Wow! I'd like to have his benefit every month.
tjs

It's a Gas!

There is an old comedy routine that asks "How do you get to Carnegie Hall?" And the reply is "Practice, practice!" But if today you asked me how to get to the Carnegie Deli I would say "Forget it!" This emporium with the gigantic pastrami sandwiches is currently closed as ConEdison has questions concerning gas usage. (Gigantic is a Woody Allen word and the menu there includes a sandwich named for him) But fear not you tourists - the deli next door on Seventh Avenue is open and their prices are cheaper. It seems that one man's fortune is another man's misfortune. Hold the mustard!
tjs

The Fall of Saigon

This week marks the fortieth anniversary of our withdrawl from Viet Nam. Rory Kennedy has produced a 52 minute documentary on the exodus to be shown on PBS tonight Tuesday April 28th 9PM EC but check your local stations. It is a very gripping narrative. U.S. Lines had three cargo ships under contract with the Military Sealift Command in the area aiding in the rescue of thousands of refugees. One of our captains is interviewed on the film. The peace accord was signed in 1973 but some think that Nixon's resignation in 1974 may have provoked the north to invade the south in April 1975. With the chaos that ensued there was much heroism on display.
tjs

A Rare Rear View

If you are driving in Europe this summer you had better be on your best behavior in Finland. These folks have a unique method of punishing speeders i.e. the fine is based on your income. They check the tax department and assess accordingly. A millionaire caught driving 64 mph in a 50 mph zone was charged eight days pay or about $58,000. - the price of a new Mercedes. On my last - and final - drive thru Virginia the constable clocked me at 82 mph and threw the book at me. As a senior on Social Security I might have preferred the Finnish system but he didn't give me the option. Besides he saw my Florida plates.
tjs
http://www.nytimes.com/2015/04/26/world/europe/speeding-in-finland-can-cost-a-fortune-if-you-already-have-one.html?_r=0

Truth is Stranger Than....

Pity the poor prison administrator who used only to have to deal with strikes, hostage taking, assaults and the like. But now the contraband is arriving over the walls via drones. A recent delivery detected included iphones, drugs and that essential phone charger. One cell was found to contain seventeen iphones. The smart phones avoid monitoring and can coordinate the nighttime deliveries just like ordering a pizza. As the headline read "The phones come in on drones!"
tjs

Earth Day

Yesterday, my best friend from third grade buried his second son after having buried the first son several decades ago. It isn't supposed to work like that. We are not supposed to bury our offspring. Being it was Earth Day, what better time to consign the ashes to the grave. I was glad to have offered my support and friendship to the survivors at this time. R.I.P.
tjs

What's in a Name?

I have recently learned that a long time friend was using a pseudonym on Facebook which I presume is not unusual on social media. With my surname I often have had problems at restaurants and motels. The restaurants give my table away and the motels pose another problem. So on rare occasions I have also used this ploy. My address in New York was One David Lane so it was amusing to hear David Lane paged in the restaurant - and with the possibility of a neighbor being in the establishment. On one occasion I used my
father-in-law's name at the old Tavern on the Green in Central Park. As I approached the maitre'd desk being jostled by the locals I drew a blank. Reading his book upside down I recognized my "name" and all was well.
tjs

Creative Design

San Francisco appears to be a hotbed of creative design. One such firm came up with the idea of making trading cards of each person on the team wherein employees draw each other. They are similar to baseball trading cards and they change them every quarter. "We can't wait to see who got drawn during the quarter." This last phrase made me wince as it reminded me of being "drawn & quartered"- a fourteenth century practice which was quite messy. Anyway, at the end of the day these creative types retire to a pub with all body parts intact - they call it "beers and brainstorming".
tjs

It's In The Air.

Over the years, if you traveled the Philadelphia waterfront from north to south you would be met by a series of aromas reflecting the City's economy. In the northeast it would be the rendering plants making tallow. Further south approaching the Ben Franklin bridge you would be hit with a pungent odor - no, it wasn't New Jersey - it was Publicker's tanks fermenting those "potato skins" for whiskey. Further on at Oregon Ave. we encountered the cocoa bean pier with its sweetness. Now we read that a little further south the Port people expect to import 60,000 tons of fertilizer per year. Now, I can appreciate the "hint" of fresh manure in the air on a Spring day - but 60M of whatever is a bit much. Beware those southerly winds. As the locals used to say when the Blue Route was coming "NIMBY" - not in my back yard!
tjs

The Mating Game

The University of Michigan's mascot is a wolverine. It is a vicious animal the size of a small bear but really of the weasel family with very sharp teeth. One such male arrived at Newark airport this week in transit from Norway to Alaska with a stop over in the lower forty-eight. It developed that he had chewed holes in his metal container perhaps unhappy to have to spend an overnight in New Jersey. He was given a tranquilizer and transferred to a new cage provided by the Bronx zoo. He will soon be joined in his three acre conservation center by a female from Sweden. What do you get when mating a Norwegian and a Swede? A Scandinavian for sure!
tjs

Taxation With Representation

Yesterday was the deadline for tax filing. I am glad I filed early but not everyone followed my lead. A study reveals that in 2006 Americans underpaid by about $450 B - for billion or roughly equal to Pentagon spending. Public shaming has become a tool to collect from deadbeats. The U.K. publishes lists of deliberate tax defrauders.
And in Bangalore, India they hire drummers to visit the homes of tax evaders and to literally bang the drum if they don't pay. I still file a paper return and I hope my whiteouts and erasures do not cause suspicion as I would hate to have them drumming on my front lawn. It would sound like Belfast on the twelfth day of July.
tjs

The Empty Seat

Staten Island also known as the "Outer Borough" has long been treated as a step-child in some quarters. These folks have been deprived of Congressional representation for over 100 days since their most recent Rep. resigned in disgrace. The election for a replacement will be May 5th and the contestants have had some raucous debates. But one thing they appear to agree on is wasteful spending in Washington. An
 example of such was the National Institute of Health spending $387M on a study of the effect of Swedish massages on rabbits. This eyebrow raiser was headlined by Sen. Coburn (R) Okla. in his "wastebook". But the story doesn't end there. The rabbits were euthanized. But what a way to die - in the arms of a Swedish masseuse!.
tjs

Never in Doubt.

St. John's Gospel Sunday was all about doubting Thomas - even Christ himself chided Thomas for his unbelieving. The priest mentioned that any Thomas in the congregation "This is for you." He had me squirming as I thought he would ask for a show of hands. I may be prudent and cautious but I am not a doubter. I did not doubt that that young man would win the Masters tournament nor did I doubt that the Dow would reach 18,000. On exiting the church I approached the celebrant and said "I am Thomas!" He said "This day's for you!"
tjs

Familiarity Breeds

I have long had a habit, when dining out, of ascertaining the name of the server. This to create a relaxed rapport person to person for the evening. So when the Cape May waitress approached our table I asked her name. She replied, "Jennifer, what's yours?" Now this rejoinder was more than I expected but I and this tattooed lady were on a first name basis for the rest of the evening. It recalled the time a seasoned trans-Atlantic traveler was asked the difference between the service offered by United States Lines and Cunard Line. Their reply was that on U.S. Lines the dining room steward was in your conversation.
tjs

The Honor System

With our attention directed to Augusta, Georgia this week for the Masters Golf Tournament I offer the following: Frank & Ernest went out for their weekly round of golf with a few side bets on the line. They were all even after seventeen holes. Frank's drive on 18 was right down the middle while Ernie hooked into the rough. They both went looking for Ernie's ball. The minutes went by with no location so Ernie suggested for Frank to hit his second shot which landed on the green eight feet from the cup. Ernie had said if he could not find his ball he would go back to the tee and be hitting 3. As Frank was savoring his good fortune a ball came flying out of the rough and landed on the green four feet from the cup. Now Frank had a quandary - should he pull the cheating bugger's ball out of his pocket? Neither of these duffers would ever wear the green jacket.
tjs

Democracy in Action

On Tuesday, while the entire nation was absorbed by another Presidential candidate announcing, the writer was attending his first City Council meeting in Cape May, N.J. - a town that recently demoted its chief of police.  Small town politics can be fascinating. Where else can you stand at the "mic" - insult the mayor to his face - and not have the plug pulled as they do in the Congress of the United States. All parties were heard, no blows were struck and many participants adjourned to the neighborhood pub to lubricate their vocal chords. Can't wait for the "season" to begin.
tjs

Odd Occurrences in Oz

The Federal Welfare system is administered by the states each using its own system. Just read where the governor of Kansas is cracking down on alleged welfare abuse. Henceforth, a family of three can only withdraw $25. per day from the ATM dispenser while paying a eighty-nine cent transaction fee. As further tightening this largesse cannot be spent on liquor stores, fortune tellers, swimming pools or cruise ships. The cruise industry is quaking! The poor folks in the squeeze may feel like Dorothy who said to Toto "I have a feeling we're not in Kansas any more."
tjs

Opening Day

Opening Day in the Bronx! No, I don't mean the Yankees. Last week a new links style golf course opened in the Bronx and it is being managed for the city by D. Trump. The "greens" fee is $169. by reservation which gives you the privilege of carrying your own bag. Available carts are equipped with GPS so you can order your sandwich and beverage while traversing the back nine. Its delay in construction and opening was influenced by reason it is built on toxic landfill and watch out for the various vents emitting methane gas. They are not "hazards"? to your game. The Donald will be there in May for the official dedication and just as well he put it off from April as the "greens" are still the color of his hair.
tjs

Can You Top This?

Many of you are aware of the severe drought in California resulting in water rationing rules issued by the governor. Some such rules use the odd/even address method which sometimes can pit neighbor against neighbor. A homeowner in Marin County across the bay is doing his part. His efforts to be thrifty include pouring pasta water on his garden, replacing his lawn with crushed granite and sharing a bath with his wife.
tjs

Good Friday

Good Friday is sort of a pivot point in Holy Week as we remember what and Whom it is all about. It is also a time when Cardinal Dolan of New York visits the prisons. He has been quoted as saying "I love to say Mass in the prisons - nobody ever comes late and for sure nobody ever leaves early!"
Of course, he never commented on the bare collection plate. Happy Easter to all.
tjs

Pearly Gates

Three fellows died and approached the Pearly Gates and St. Peter said they would have to take a test before they could be admitted. He asked No. 1 "What do you know about Easter?" Said No. 1 "Easter is when the man in the red suit comes down the chimney with gifts for the children." Wrong! No. 2 what do you know about Easter? No. 2 "Easter is when they shoot off fireworks and have parades." Sorry, Pal!
No. 3 what do you know? No. 3 "Easter is when they crucified Christ on the cross, took him down from the cross and buried him in a tomb. On the third day he left the tomb - and saw his shadow and went back in and we had six weeks more of winter."
To use a baseball parlance "Three up and three down.
tjs

No Fooling

If you ask the average person what today is they will probably say it is All Fools Day and warn you not to walk under any ladders or see any black cats. But my late friend Jim C. knew it to be opening day of the trout fishing season. In the old Abercrombie & Fitch flagship store in Manhattan they had a fly casting pond on the roof where my friend would frequent and practice. Another sportsman who could be seen there when in town was Ted Williams, the great Red Sox slugger who loved fishing more than baseball. With many streams still snow packed the trout may be late for opening day.
tjs