Latin, the dead language

 

Margalit Fox does it again. Today's NYT carries her obituary writeup on a Carmelite monk who was the official Latinist for the Vatican.

She writes that he dreamed in Latin, cursed in Latin, banked in Latin and ultimately Tweeted in Latin. He was LXXXI. She has other jewels in her half page story which try to catch.

tjs(NYT)

TexMex

 

Golfing fans of an era will remember Lee Trevino who played with the big boys in the 1960s and won several OPENS. He was a blue collar kind of guy from West Texas. One hot summer day he was out mowing his lawn in a tee shirt and perspiring profusely when a late model auto stopped at his curb. The lady occupant rolled down her window and called to him.

"Sir, how much do you charge for landscaping?" He answered thusly: "I have an arrangement with the lady of the house - I mow the lawn and she let's me sleep with her." The auto quickly drove away.

On another occasion a fan asked him "What do you do if you are out on the course when lightning strikes? He answered "I reach for my ONE iron as not even God can hit a ONE." tjs

Friendly Golf

In an earlier time, USL Sales Manager in Tokyo, invited three top clients for a "friendly" golf game. You know how serious the Japanese take their golf, with double deck ranges, etc. After a "friendly" luncheon the foursome collected at the first tee to discuss match-ups. Suddenly, one of our guests went over to our man's bag and counted his clubs. There would be no "friendly" match today! But our business arrangement was preserved. Sometimes there is no reason to play "customer golf". tjs

Keep Calm and Carry On

 Yes, I do read the obits. NYT 11/24 Lady Elizabeth Anson, was a cousin to the current Queen Elizabeth II. She had a talent for planning "parties" including the Queen's 80th & 90th and later formed a company where she planned one for the Rolling Stones which attracted the police. 

But it was the following that caught my attention: "In 1993, when Ivana Trump, newly divorced from Donald J. Trump, hired Lady Elizabeth to organize a 50th birthday party for Ms. Trump's fiance at the time, Riccardo Mazzucchelli, and then doubled the guest list. Ms. Trump refused to pay the difference. The two spent years in court fighting over $9000." Does this sound familiar? The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

tjs

Greetings of the Season

 For wine lovers, the new crop of Beaujolais Nouveau was to market on the third Thursday of November - Nov. 19th. It is famous for races by distributors to get the first bottles to different markets around the globe.

Folklore has it that one enterprising distributor planned to parachute a case to beat a competitor to market. He didn't plan on it ending up "bubbly".

Sign in a local State Store: For all you BYOS suggest fine wine and good spirits.

 A late election comment: "The only way Trump will get to 270 if he would lose fifty pounds." -Michael Steele             

tjs

Post Election Review

 

Several of the comments that caught my eye:

- Perhaps Trump should "put on his big boy pants" - Mayor Jim Kenney of Philadelphia.

- "Bad things happen in Philadelphia" - DJT - reminded one of Howard Cosell's famous knocks against our city.

- Referring to that famous photo op outside the D.C. church where Trump held up a Bible "shaken like a Martini" - NYT

-But the best referred to Rudy Giuliani's press conference at the Four Seasons. I'm sure America's Mayor had dined there often. But this Four Seasons was a landscaping service in northeast Philadelphia next to an adult bookstore and crematorium where Rudy held court in the parking lot. Earlier in his career he might have closed the adult bookstore and the crematorium might have been the destination of their campaign. Anyway, as the seasons go, I prefer Vivaldi's.tjs

Current events.

 

- Bismark, N.D. elected a dead man on Tuesday - fortunately it was for a down ballot office. He did seem rather quiet during the debate. It recalled the following anonymous quote - "It isn't the cough that carries you off, it's the coffin they carry you off in."

-"Le confinement" is what the French call their coronavirus lockdown. Politically correct perhaps but surely weYanks could find a more colorful description.

tjs

What's in a Name?

facebook Lachlan Murdoch son of Rupert and chief exec at FOX was heard politely spelling his name to a restaurant hostess who didn't recognize him. Reminded one of a time in Washington D.C. when a particular department was shuffling personnel. One chap on the way to lunch called to the receptionist "If the boss calls, get his name!" tjs

Quotes of the week -

- Sen. Dianne Feinstein, age 87, is the ranking member of the Judiciary Committee. She is the oldest member of the Senate. Her defenders say critics confuse her "patrician gentility for senility".

- An evangelical Trump donor was raving about the Trump Hotel in Washington. "That place is like an angelic Grand Central Station". I have been thru this station at rush hour and those are not angels painted in the ceiling. tjs

News of the week IV

- "We don't agonize, we organize"! - Nancy Pelosi

- Calling Mrs. Malaprop!! - DJT confuses "herd mentality" with "herd immunity" - picky, picky!

"We have more arrows in our quiver!" - Nancy Pelosi

-"When a thoughtless or unkind word is spoken, best tune out"  - RBG

-Dateline Australia: Qantas Airline is advertising Flights to Nowhere - depart and return to the same place. Thousands of people who miss flying are rushing to buy tickets. First flight sold out in ten minutes. NYT 

tjs

News of the week III

- "Strong letter to follow!" - Tom Ridge after a critical rant about DHS.

-"A good anvil does not fear the hammer." - China's ambassador to Britain.

-"He always needs to touch the flame." - Jared Kushner
(Something like Icarus flying too close to the sun).

-......Better to pet the bear than to poke him!  - the attitude of many Presidents in dealing with Bob Woodward.

-From the mouths of babes: With the smoke blocking the California sun, a four year old asked her mother: "Is this how the dinosaurs died?"
tjs

News of the week II

- Mixed metaphors: DJT thinks that certain law enforcement officers may be prone to "choke" under pressure. He compares the condition to freezing over a three foot putt. But his three foot putts are "gimees" so how would he know?

-Get out of the sand trap and do your job!" - Joe Biden.

-"I'm thinking it's time to just put up the Christmas tree  and call it a year." - Anon.

-Eyebrow raiser: Strom Thermond wanted Joe Biden to  eulogize him at his funeral and stipulated it in his will.
tjs

News of the week

Having reached a certain age, I do read the obits in the NY Times. One dated Aug. 22 was for Norman Carlson, a long time leader of the Federal Bureau of Prisons. He served under 11 Attorneys General having been appointed by John N. Mitchell, Nixon's A.G. Subsequently, Mitchell was convicted in the Watergate scandal and was sent to Federal prison where he was under Mr. Carlson's custody. You can't make this stuff up.
- "I know a predator when I see one." - Kamala Harris, Attorney General of California.

-Post G.O.P. convention - The mostly maskless guests were seated cheek by jowl for hours, like the teeming crowd for the big finale of a pandemic reality show: "The Celebrity Appestilence."-James Poniewozik NYT
tjs

How now Dow Jones

Some of you with IRAs may follow the readings of the Dow Jones index of the top 30 stocks based on their share prices. Apple's 4 to 1 recent stock split has shuffled the roster with new arrivals Amgen, Honeywell and Salesforce(?) bumping Exxon Mobil, Pfizer and Raytheon. Exxon Mobil is the successor to Standard Oil of New Jersey the longest serving member since 1928. Its exclusion now should make old John D. Rockefeller roll over in his grave. They say this gent used to hand out dimes to folks during the depression. This brings to mind a saying of the time "Brother, can you spare a dime."
tjs

News of the day

Re COVID 19 - during the Spring, the hardest hit neighborhood in New York City  was CORONA, Queens.
(NYT 8/20/20)

When Steve Bannon was arrested this week he was having morning coffee on the deck of the yacht LADY MAY on Long Island Sound.  Gosh dang it, I hate to have my coffee hour disturbed.Well, LADY MAY but Stevie did.

Heard on the street: If Trump wanted to lock Hillary up he should have hired her.
tjs

Aerial Battle

Dateline - Upper Michigan - The Department of Environment, Great Lakes and Energy. Their name is abbreviated E.G.L.E..........one of their drones was challenged by a Bald Eagle and the drone lost. The Eagle may have been protecting his turf but some think he may have been offended by the misspelling of his name.
tjs(NYT 8/16/20)

Quotes of the Week

-"She really wanted her last check to bounce" - Warren Buffett describing his sister's wish after giving all her money away.

-"God must have loved the common man, He made so many of them" - etched over the entrance of the Daily News Building on East 42nd St.

-On ZOOM, sweatpants cannot be distinguished from tailored dress pants. - Brooks Bros. bankruptcy message.

-Sumner Redstone, Media giant, died at 97. At his future service he wants them to play "My Way".
tjs

The Dating Game

Back in the mid-fifties - post Korean conflict - I had a friend who was a junior Naval officer on a destroyer who was designated communications officer. Long sessions at sea put a crimp in his date life until he found he could communicate with commercial air carriers overhead and made the acquaintance of several flight attendants. This being an unsecured phone, the conversations were overheard by other officers. When shore leave might coincide with air layovers, he attempted to "make a date". But to protect the women from imposters he had his father in Philadelphia act as a clearing house to confirm his identity as the real Lt. j.g Richard. I commended him for his ingenuity - particularly maintaining "social distancing" from thirty thousand feet.
tjs

Swatting

An aeronautics professor at CalTech has spent fifteen years studying the evasive flight behavior of houseflies. To combat this nuisance he recommends the following:
- Use a long handle swatter.
-Try for minimal distance i.e. creep up on them.
-Try not to be visible.
-Use a clear and non-reflective swatter if you can find one.
But the good professor personally uses a rolled up newspaper!
This mention of houseflies recalls this tongue-twister:
-A flea and a fly in a flue -
-were imprisoned, so what could they do?
-Let us flee said the fly - fly away said the flea -
-So they flew thru a flaw in the flue.
tjs (NYT 8/8/20)

Quotes of the week

-"Mr. Giuliani is not able to estimate the value"... of the legal services he rendered pro bono to the Trump organization. NYT 8/2/20

-"I'm a naughty TORY!" - member of British parliament accused of sexual assault. NYT 8/3/20

-"It is what it is!" - DJT explaining the Pandemic.

-"An eye for an eye leaves everyone blind!" - John Hume Irish peacemaker.

-"Like a knife through hot butter." - Gov. Phil Murphy N.J. describing the movement of storm ISAIAS although he is guilty of mixing his metaphors.
tjs

Quotes of the week et al

COVID 19 - Univ. of Fla. infectious disease expert: ..we don't know what the long term consequences are -"Surviving doesn't mean thriving."

-Nancy Pelosi description of Donald J. Trump -"Delay, deny, distortion."

Rep. A.O.C (D) takes on sexism on the House floor -
"Don't hate me cause you ain't me, fellas!"

-Trump seems fixated on five words- "Person, woman, man, camera, TV" to prove his cognitive ability. Perhaps he thought that "Rock, paper, scissors" was too easy.
tjs
(NYT 7/24/20)

The Land of Brexit

The news this week comes from across the pond and all Gin drinkers will  be saddened to learn that there will be layoffs among the Beefeater guards who attend to the Tower of London. Tourism is down and a voluntary layoff program is in force.

The British Open Golf Tournament is under the auspices of the Royal & Ancient Golf Club of St. Andrews founded in the eighteenth century. The site each year is chosen from a pool of ten courses in Scotland, England and Northern Ireland. Now comes one Donald J. Trump, a carpetbagger from the colonies, and the owner of several of these links courses, attempting to lobby for selection of his Turnberry facility and using our Ambassador to the Court of St. James for this effort.
The dictionary defines "crass" as lacking in sensitivity, refinement or intelligence. BTW our current ambassador is the owner of the N.Y. Jets football team, hardly a diplomat.
tjs

Current events

DJT recently took a Cognitive Assessment test and was bragging that he "aced" it although some of the questions were hard. A section has drawings of three animals which have to be identified i.e. a Lion, a Rhinoceros and a Camel.
-He had no trouble with the first as "lyin" was second nature to him.
-The second was a Rhino - a Republican in name only.
-But the third dromedary stumped him - he wasn't sure whether one hump or two.
tjs

News of the Day

Anheuser Busch's most popular beer in Brazil is named BRAHMA after an Englishman who invented a draft pump valve. But an interfaith coalition is pressing for removal as it is too close to the name of the Hindu god of creation and should not be "misused as a toasting tool." But, admittedly, this has to take a back seat to CORONA, the Confederate flag and the Washington Redskins.

In early May the Treasury Dept. handed out "stimulus" checks - estimated $1200. per person. But in their haste they sent $1.4 Billion to dead people and now the IRS is trying to recover these funds by canceling these checks - what? after two months. What are the odds of success?

Quote of the day: "If we had half the testing, we'd have half the cases." - DJT (Mathematics 101)
tjs
(NYT 7/15/20)

My Tonsorial Parlor

After five months of sheltering in place I could use a haircut lest I be mistaken for one of those old Southern Senators with the flowing locks.
-Forty years ago I was living in New York and looking forward to my wedding when I walked into an upscale salon on Central Park South as a "walkin" and requested a haircut and manicure. Explaining my circumstances, they accommodated me and I was presentable for the upcoming ceremony.
Which reminded me of the man in the barber's chair getting a shave and a manicure. He began to flirt with the manicurist and suggested a "date". She replied "I'll have to ask my husband." He persisted "Why do you have to ask him?" She said "Well, then why don't you ask him yourself, he's shaving you!" I suspect those hot towels must have caused third degree burns.
tjs

Covid fallout

When the COVID virus ravaged Manhattan earlier in the year, many who could sought refuge in Eastern Long Island. Some had a guilty consciences but there were other laments. i.e. "Our cellphones don't work well in the Hamptons and we didn't know what our internet would be like."

The financial markets were skittish reviving Warren Buffett's quote "It's only when the tide goes out that you learn who's been swimming naked."
tjs
(NYT 7/12/20)

JAWS revisited

Recall the scenes in the movie JAWS when the Chief of Police closed the beach. It was a July 4th weekend and the Chief took some heat from certain quarters. Fast forward to our own July 4th where the Florida governor has mandated closing all beaches due to Covid spread - a sensible but unpopular decision. We might expect "disappointment" all the way from Jacksonville down to Miami Beach. Too bad it takes a shark attack to get some people's attention.
tjs

COVID side effects

As a senior sheltering in place for the last five months I wasn't aware of some of the effects on the outside world. But Sunday's NYT brought the following into view:
- Building elevators - space constraints may limit elevator floor space to four masked silent occupants. This poses a problem with the lobbies filling up between 7 and 9 AM.
-Office greenery - when folks were encouraged to work from home, they left behind their ficus trees and other plants that require some water during current conditions.
-Bunkers - we have seen an increase in constructing underground "Bunkers" which harkens back to the nuclear scares of old.
Just some of the ways life is changing these days and I read it all in Sunday's NYT.
tjs
(NYT 6/28/20)

Sorry, Charlie

Those of you of a certain age may recall Charlie the Tuna who was spawned on Madison Avenue in 1961. The theme was that Starkist wasn't looking for a fish with "good taste" - rather one who "tasted good." Charlie accepted the rejection and has since been retired but his fame lives on as a representative of the "brand". My former employer was very particular in protecting the "brand" including copyrights, etc. Even Trump knows that. So I was saddened to read that Starkist is being dragged into an Anti-trust matter with competitor, Bumble Bee, over the amount of ounces in a can. For full disclosure the blogger is a Starkist consumer except my tuna swims in from Ecuador and arrives in a pouch vice can. To each his own.
tjs

A Fair Way

When Covid 19 arrived in New York, those who could, fled the city, with the wealthiest heading to Eastern Long Island. The membership at East Hampton Golf Club runs to $400 thousand but with the shortage of caddies, some members are using robot caddies on wheels which follow them from tee to green. They remain silent but think if those personal assistants (i.e. Alexa or Siri) were on board...........
"Alexa, did you see where my ball went?"
'It went left, you hooked it'
"Siri, hand me my six iron"
'I think you need a five, sir'
"Alexa, what's my distance to the hole?"
'Never mind, you can't reach it'
That would make the game interesting.
tjs

A Coughin' Fit

The Covid virus is overwhelming the Undertakers and surviving family members are being surprised by the burial costs. The FTC is being urged to make "on line" pricing mandatory. The median cost for full burial in 2019 was $7640. A Minister in Kentucky describes how she helped a young man save $3000. by directing him to Costco to buy a coffin for his deceased mother. Who would have thought? As the saying goes "It isn't the cough that carries you off, it's the coffin they carry you off in."
tjs
(NYT 6/13/20)

The Sporting Life

Sports are slowly returning in Britain. Among them was pigeon racing with a  4000 bird race underway. (Lookout Tippi Hendren). Horse racing, dog racing and  "snooker" also started up. There was no mention of "darts" which every pub crawler thirsts for. The jockeys all wore masks ala the Lone Ranger. Soccer (futball) soon to follow.
On the home front Belmont Park is racing again. But the Belmont Stakes was postponed until June 20th and was reduced to ten furlongs from twelve which will necessitate an asterisk * for years to come.
tjs

Alcoholic intake

NYT Science section reveals that elephants really can't handle their liquor. They lack a key enzyme that we humans enjoy. It goes back to a time when living changed from arboreal to terrestrial when diets changed and (ready) "....richer in fallen, fermenting fruit on the forest floor." As to the latter the story told is that birds gorged on fermented berries so that "there wasn't  a tern left unstoned." (Groan)
tjs
NYT 5/26/20

Pub Crawl

The NYT proposes "Will Britain's Pubs Survive?"   The current Covid virus has caused a lockdown that has everyone imbibing at home. Noel Coward, the famous British playwright, was asked to write a song that was intrinsically British and he decided to write about his favorite Pub, the Rose and Crown. It goes something like this:
-Saturday night at the Rose & Crown is quite the place to be - soldiers and sailors, tinkers and tailors, out on the town for a bit of a spree - if you're tired of life with your husband or wife and the kids are getting you down - things will all come right - on Saturday night - at the Rose & Crown! Hail Britannia!
tjs

Quotes of the mid-week.

About POTUS: The pandemic has left him shaken, not stirred. - Jennifer Senior. I thought she was describing James Bond.

-Trump's new catch phrase - "Transition to Greatness" - you can expect to hear it again, and again - right out of Madison Ave.

-"I may never get an obit......from the New York Times" - (The late Jerry Stiller) (He did get a half page 5/12/20)

- Catch phrase II - "We have met the moment and we have prevailed." (DJT) Not quite "Mission Accomplished". It recalls Pogo's famous "We have met the enemy and he is us."
Anyway it would seem that POTUS has a new ghost writer.
tjs

Pachydermia

Today's NYT crossword puzzle contains the clue "16th century pope who owned a pet elephant". Answer is LeoX from the di Medici family who was elected in 1513. The Indian elephant's name was Hanno and was a gift from Manuel, king of Portugal, to curry favor with the Vatican. The story was written by the Smithsonian in 2015. For Hanno's first appearance before the Pope it is alleged that he (Hanno) bowed and then showered the assembly with water. The "pet" is buried in the Vatican courtyard minus his tusks(?)  and his skeleton was discovered during recent excavation.
Crossword puzzles can be so "puzzling" but also educational.
tjs
(NYT 5-1-20)

Breaking Bad-ly

As a lad I worked in a pharmacy - the old fashioned name was apothecary with the jars of red and green liquid in the window. (Sort of port and starboard arrangement.)  New York State has enlisted hundreds of pharmacists to perform Covid tests which makes us all proud of these professionals. So I was dismayed to read in the NYT datelined Auburn, Nebraska of a pharmacist dealing in opioids conspiring with a drug dealer. His establishment was called "Family Value Pharmacy". He needed more drugs to keep his side business going so he/they planned to firebomb a rival pharmacy and steal opioids and increase the amount of drugs he could order. Apparently, Covid hasn't reached Auburn yet. As the Chicago BlackSox young fan cried "Say it isn't so, Joe!" One bad apple in the barrel.
tjs
(NYT 4/23/20)

Sheltering in Place IV

-Calendar of events - cancellations.

-The National Spelling Bee - so now we don't have to fret trying to spell all the virus terminology.

-The Running of the Bulls at Pamplona, Spain. (July) So I guess it depends on "whose ox is gored."
- The Oktoberfest in Munich, Bavaria. This means no Oompah music and we can put those steins back on the shelf.

Still scheduled -

-  The NFL draft but maintaining social distance.

- Macy's Fourth of July Fireworks Show. Vouched by Mayor de Blasio. This on the heels of Macy furloughing 100,000 employees nationwide.
tjs

Sheltering in Place III

-The Trump Hotel on Pennsylvania Ave. pays a monthly lease of $268,000 to their landlord General Services Administration (GSA) who is part of the Trump Administration. Since all the lobbyists and hangers-on have disappeared, the Trump organization is seeking some relief.

-The NYT crossword puzzle for 4/22 clue reads "Orangish shade" eight letters - the answer is "coralred" so Potus' hairdresser might want to get updated on the tint of his pomade.
tjs

Sheltering in Place II

A small town in Indiana, pop. 6000 has finally been touched by the virus. Their two most prominent employers are a coffin maker and a manufacturer of medical supplies - perhaps not in that order.

-POTUS exhortation to LIBERATE Virginia betrays his lack of historical knowledge as Virginia was one of the first states to secede from the Union in 1861. I don't think they plan on leaving again.

I can still hear Judy Garland singing "Oh, how I wish again that I could be in Michigan, down on the farm". But those weren't farmers yelling "Lock her up!" Just sayin'! Stay safe.
tjs

Are there any news?

-Have you noticed that the WH briefings are far from brief?
-Alcohol consumption in Russia has spiked as a result of the virus. One patient confessed "I decided to decontaminate myself with alcohol."

I have been waiting six weeks for an IRS refund. I hope its delay is not waiting for Potus signature.

POTUS latest gambit is forming an "Opening our country council" - a list of 200 names across various industries - some blindsided by their appointment - to communicate via conference calls..........I did a double take when I heard my former employer mentioned!
tjs

Casino Royale

There are 989 casinos in the country - all shut down because of the "virus". Just as they were anticipating a bonanza season, they lost March Madness, The Masters and Kentucky Derby in one fell swoop. NYT writes that they are joining numerous other industries in asking for Federal Aid!! Yes, you heard right. So this means a billionaire mogul, Sheldon Adelson, a large Trump donor with casinos in Vegas and Macao (near Hong Kong) will be at the trough for Federal dollars - (read taxpayers dollars). Mon dieu! In the meanwhile, gamblers will have to do with a coin flip, red or black, or maybe three card monte on the sidewalk. So what happens in Vegas doesn't always stay there.
tjs
(NYT 4/6/20)

"not essential"

The Brits have blanched over some of the new conditions placed upon them. Certain activities have been considered "not essential." One community is using drones to scatter groups considered "not essential". And small stores have been instructed that they should not sell chocolate Easter eggs because they are "non- essential." But unlike France, Britons do not have to fill out paper work to go outside. But one group placed black dye in a quarry pool to discourage swimming. All this on the heels of learning that Prince Charles and Boris Johnson have proved positive and they are not over Brexit yet. Hail Britannia! Stiff upper lip!
tjs
(NYT 4/2/20)

Easter Duty

As we approach Holy Week, a pastor in the area is pursuing a way to do drive thru confessions. Presumably the driver would roll down window, remove his/her mask and pour out any indiscretions to the padre also wearing his mask. Sort of like driving up to McDonalds - shouting your sins into the speaker then moving up to the window to receive your penance. Hopefully, you didn't get "The Stations of the Cross." I can just hear Ronald McDonald exhorting me to "Go and sin no more." - as he waves me thru.
tjs

Day's End

As they say "At the end of the day" TGIF.

NYT writes of the wild goose who raced a New Jersey commuter train for 20 miles and did it again the following day. If he was training for the Olympics, someone should have told him they were cancelled. This occurred long before California banned foie gras.

Yesterday was opening day for baseball but all diamonds were idle. Someone once asked the great Rogers Hornsby what did he do in winter when there is no baseball. "I'll tell you what I do. I stare out the window and wait for spring." So part the curtains and lift the blinds to improve my view.
tjs
(NYT)

Sheltering in place I

With serious discussions winding down, Nancy Pelosi said she would pray to Pope Francis for enlightenment. Her opposite number, Treasury Sec. M'nuchin, said he would pray for the economy. Pelosi thought he might have chosen something from the Old Testament.

POTUS has set Easter Sunday for his target date to reopen the country. Someone should remind him that Easter is a movable feast.

It is rumored that Bacardi and Tito's will be switching their line to hand sanitizer. So don't be surprised if your drink has a lower alcohol content.
tjs

Tradition

Today, March 19, in addition to being the feast day of St. Joseph, is also the date that the swallows come back to Capistrano - the song written in 1940 and recorded by the Ink Spots and Glenn Miller. Of course, this is all contingent on the State of California letting them in. And one has to wonder where they spent the winter. Anyway, we are sheltering in place and practicing "social distancing" - until we meet again.
tjs

Virtual assistant

A writer was discussing her plans for her 50th birthday celebration but did not want to reveal her "new age". But a friend shouted into his house - "ALEXA, how old is ________? He had the answer in seconds.
Across the street a neighbor asked "SIRI, can you reproduce the sound of flatulence?" I am told she performed as requested. And I hear all these exchanges are in their memory boxes. So keep it down to a whisper.
tjs

No Seconds

NYT Food section reported on recent studies about last meals requested by prisoners on death row. Last October, in Missouri, an inmate consumed a gyro, a smoked brisket sandwich, two portions of fries, a cola and a banana split. With nary a belch he went on to meet his maker. Contrast that menu with Timothy McVeigh's request for a double order of chocolate chip ice cream. Over all the study determined that seventy percent of inmates requested fried foods. Sort of eating fried before getting fried. Ouch!
tjs
(NYT 3/11/20)

What? No room service?

The above photo is a replica of Al Capone's luxurious cell in the Eastern State Penitentiary in Philadelphia. It comes to mind as Harvey Weinstein awaits sentencing and to learn of his next address. He has recently added to his team a paid professional known as a "prison consultant" whose duties include making sure the inmate understands the details of their "journey." - i.e. a shaving of the head and the wearing of handcuffs.
They are hoping he can be housed  in a facility with a protective custody unit apart from the general population. Mr. Weinstein also wants a prison that is close to New York City or to one with a significant Jewish population. Wow!
tjs
(NYT 3/5/20)

Getting aquainted.

In 1942 there was a popular song "I've heard that song before" - sung by Helen Forrest with Harry James' band. Tell me if you have heard the following before. In his anxiety to pull out of Afghanistan, the President talked to a leader of the Taliban. "I spoke to the leader of the Taliban today. We had a good conversation.........the relationship is very good that I have with the Mullah." Next he will be receiving love letters or perhaps renewing that invitation to Camp David.
tjs
(NYT 3/4/20)

Ivy League

Quote of the week - today's obits include a gunman who shot up the U.S. Capitol in 1954 on behalf of Puerto Rican independence. He was given a lengthy sentence and spent time in Alcatraz in San Francisco, Marion Penitentiary in Illinois and Leavenworth in Kansas. He called them the "Harvard, Yale and Princeton of American prisons." But doubt if he saw any ivy on the walls.
tjs
(NYT 3/4/20)

Virus side effects I

-The owner of the Black Rabbit bar in Brooklyn said she had written the mayor to see whether alcohol licenses could be altered to allow home deliveries of cocktails and alcoholic beverages. Presume may need an APP for this. Run  Rabbit Run - but stir don't shake.
tjs
(NYT 3/2/20)

News of the day.

-A prominent London bank has backed away from a software program that monitored employee's productivity - including bathroom breaks......When I was a high school senior I worked in the General Post Office during Christmas break. Their approach to the problem was to open all windows in the rest rooms (December) to make the temperature near freezing so no one would linger. They didn't need a software program back then.

-Roger Stone, on his way to jail, was holding court -"The key to a good martini is you have to marinate the olives in vermouth first." He said he got the recipe from Nixon who got it from Churchill. I don't think he will find any in "stir".
tjs

Heard on the Campaign

-A questioner asked Sen. Warren who would be her "Mike Pence" - she answered "I already have a dog."

"The Dems need a sober designated driver to get them home." - Chris Matthews.

"Where I come from they measure a man's height from the neck up.' - Mike Bloomberg.
tjs

Quotes of the Week

Iowa picks corn, but New Hampshire picks Presidents - although this week Iowa couldn't pick their noses.

Using baseball parlance: "He can't carry your glove, Mitt."

I went to a prayer breakfast - it was tasteless, graceless and sprinkled with spite. Blame the cook?

I keep hearing it "At the end of the day"......the sun goes down.
tjs

The Jersey Shore

Well, POTUS visited the Jersey Shore and Wildwood will never be the same. They are still hauling trash and debris away. While it lasted the local mixologists got creative and served up "subpoena-colada, MAGA Margarita and Impeachment punch." Am so glad he didn't land a few miles south in Cape May which was the favorite resort of past Presidents Pierce, Buchanan, Grant and Harrison. Oh, and folklore has it that Henry Clay used to frolic on the beach there.
P.S. Doubtful Grant went there for the waters although they named a street after him.
tjs

Caneel Bay

Caneel Bay resort on St. John in the U.S. Virgin Islands is still reeling from back to back hurricanes last season and the owners have not done any repairs as they have a dispute with the U.S. Parks department. This was known as a Rockefeller resort in its heyday and it is a pity to see it languish in disrepair. Some years ago I and some sailing friends dropped anchor off their beach and took a dinghy ashore. We relaxed on their veranda as the drink of the day was frozen peach daiquiris. After considerable consumption we managed to navigate back to ship feeling "peachy". But that was in the long ago. One hopes Caneel Bay may once again return to receiving visitors.
tjs