Changing of the Guard I

At the USLines office in Philadelphia circa 1960, the District Freight Manager was being kicked upstairs to New York. I guess he had done enough penance with a ten year sentence in an outport. His name was Fred K. - he was an Ivy Leaguer from Princeton and had served with an airborne division in Europe in WWII. The District Manager thought we should give him a sendoff with a dinner and the upper room at Old Original Bookbinders restaurant was reserved for the occasion and we invited fifty heavyweights from the shipping industry. Since the D.M. was more comfortable behind the scene he nominated me to handle the M.C. duties on the dais. As the departing exec was no longer my boss, I took certain liberties with my introduction. I said that Fred K. answered a want ad in the New York Times seeking a young, industrious, enterprising person promising an exciting future - applicant must be a Yale graduate or the equivalent. Fred answered the ad with "By the equivalent of a Yale graduate do you mean two Harvard men or a Princeton man working part time?" I said that Fred got the job and he's been working part time ever since. At the same gathering we introduced Fred's replacement which will save for a separate offering. Stay tuned and keep the party going.
tjs
Next - Changing of the Guard II

Did You Know?

They say that the bathtub was invented about 1842.  It is also said that the telephone was invented by Alexander Graham Bell around 1876. So if you took a bath in 1842 it would be 34 years before you would be disturbed by a phone call. Of course you might shrivel up like a prune in the interim. Isn't history fascinating?
tjs
Next - Changing of the Guard I (Monday)

Along the Shore

I have mentioned how much I admired the longshoremen - particularly in B.C. (before container) - for the way they braved all kinds of weather in pursuit of their hazardous occupation. But they didn't always recognize the "ownership" of certain cargoes. i.e. they thought those Lord & Taylor cashmeres belonged to the ship - and the ship was open season. And those phrases "use no hooks" were often ignored. Also some thought that stencil "FRAGILE" was a port in Italy.  Our ships from Australia would bring in bales of wool, bags of ore and "pigs" of lead. Many of the men wore long WW I coats with multi pockets to hide any small items that might catch their fancy. But sometimes it was amazing what might attract them.
 We were discharging pigs of lead and at the noon break the gang members in the hold had to climb a thirty foot vertical ladder to reach the main deck. One man was lagging behind and the gangway watchman thought he looked suspicious and engaged him in idle conversation thereby detaining him from going to his favorite luncheonette. The man's face turned red and then turned blue and he turned and went back down the ladder and removed the lead pig that he had tied around his neck. Go figure.
tjs
Next - Did you know?

The Grenadines

Below repeated from blog Feb 23, 2011 - Captain Ted Charles passed away last week at age 84.

I always wanted to sail in the Grenadines so one winter I flew down to Grenada (the small island that we invaded in 1983) to join a schooner for a week's sail south to north from Grenada to St. Vincent passing thru some lovely unspoiled islands such as Carriacou, Petit St. Vincent and Bequia. These are not tourist stops. One evening we dropped anchor off Carriacou and since there was no nightlife ashore we settled down to count the stars. Soon we heard music coming out of the darkness. As it grew louder we could see a small rowboat with four native boys and one scratchy guitar and they were singing the chorus of HEY JUDE over and over as they came alongside. Our captain - Ted Charles -  had been in show business and knew a potential floor show when he saw one. So we hoisted this "scratchy band" on board and they performed for us on the fantail after which we passed the hat around. Each time I hear that Beatles song I am transported back to another era. If and when serendipity comes your way I hope you will embrace it as we did.
tjs
Next - For the Birds

Down the ways

Circa 1970 when NASA was beginning to hit its stride, the Steve Allen show featured the  comedian Bill Dana playing a Latino astronaut called Jose Jimenez which became a very popular feature.
At about the same time USLines was planning their new class of containership and the contract was awarded to the Sun Shipyard in neighboring Chester, Pa.  I had a customer in Philadelphia named Carlos M. whose speech pattern was remarkably close to that of Jose. He called me one day and suggested that we name our first vessel "Astronaut" and sent his unsolicited suggestion to our home office in New York.
 After several weeks the company announced that the first "new build" would be named S.S. AMERICAN ASTRONAUT and the sponsor would be Commander James Lovell of Apollo 13 fame.
 When Carlos heard the news he was ecstatic and called me daily for updates. Our Sales V.P. suggested I invite Carlos and spouse to the ship christening. Now the shipyard is the host for these events and they control the invitation list. As a result Carlos and I were behind the ropes while Cdr. Lovell was up on the scaffolding and after the champagne bottle was swung and the ship slid down the ways into the Delaware River, it began to rain. The dignitaries hustled Lovell into the limo and they were off to the reception. There is no more desolate place than an empty shipyard in the rain so I escorted Carlos and spouse to a nearby riverfront restaurant for a leisurely luncheon and he seemed happy with his 8x10 glossy autographed by James Lovell and the thought that he was instrumental in the naming of a ship and I wouldn't dare spoil his dream.
tjs
(for full disclosure - as the writers say - a photo of the ship appears on the cover of my paperback "The Eagle Blue Chronicles" which sells for $9.99 from Lulu Publishing - it is still in its first printing.)
 Next - The Grenadines.

Duty Calls

It was circa 1950 and The Philadelphia Steamship Bowling League convened on Friday evenings at 6:30PM - it was a raucous crowd - I carried a 150 average with a ten pound ball. I had tidied up the desk and had my hand on the doorknob when the phone rang. Dutifully, I picked it up. It was Big Mike the Operations Mgr. There would be no bowling tonight. A ship had just arrived from New York with a relief Master and in the rush to depart New York he had forgotten to replenish the petty cash box and now the crew wanted a "draw" to take in the sights of Port Richmond. Mike said "this is what ya gotta do - take a taxi to M.J. Kelly's Meats (a supplier of victuals to our fleet) - Joe Kelly will give you a package - take it to pier 179 North and give it to the Captain." Pretty straightforward instructions. So off I went - Joe Kelly met me and gave me a brown paper bag filled with money and we headed to Port Richmond. Pier 179 was a  pier with no lights used for idle berthing. It was in the Reading Railroad complex near their grain elevator. I had heard that the rats around grain elevators were as big as cats and I should tuck in my trouser cuffs and whistle if I should see any. The taxi got me as close as he could and I started down the pier apron looking for a gangway but there was none to behold. The ship was "in Ballast" (empty) and was riding very high in the water. There was an accommodation  ladder (a misnomer) hanging down from the bow with the bottom rung broken. I tucked my parcel in my shirt - reached for the ladder and started up with several pairs of eyes peering down at me. They helped me on board and ushered me to the Captain's office - he was perspiring profusely and being hassled by several unlicensed crew members. I handed over my package - he thanked me and bid me goodnight. And now I had to get down the same ladder. The cab was waiting and I made the last game at the alley. The next day was Saturday - we always worked a half day on Saturdays. As I entered the office feeling proud of my previous night's achievement I was set upon by the Freight Cashier demanding a receipt from the Captain which I did not have. Some days you cannot win - either in bowling or in life.
tjs
Next -Down the ways.

Addendum

If you care to retrieve WHY? TOO KAY? of Feb 17 there is a photo added by my editor after publication.
tjs

The Music Store

The music store of the past is long gone - along with the automat, the carpet sweeper, the dusty bookstore. No longer do you find a piano in every parlor. But there was a time when I visited my favorite music store and found a sign on the door - it read "Out to lunch - back at one - but Offenbach later." Now I know that puns and play on words can provoke groans so perhaps we all need the weekend off. You readers have better things to do on weekends i.e. shoveling snow, going to soccer games, or doing tax returns. So I'll be back on Monday - if not Offenbach sooner.
tjs
Next - Duty Calls (Monday)

Why? too kay?

Do you remember Y2K? The scare we had at the turn of the century that all the computers would grind to a halt at midnight December 31, 1999. Fortunately, there were prudent companies with talented people who averted this looming crisis. It was the MILLENIUM ! Our family decided to have a Millenium party where each one would adopt an earlier decade with costume and commentary. I chose the 1930s  - I always liked the music of that era. I did my best FDR imitation wearing a felt fedora hat, cigarette holder, patrician accent with my Scottie as Fala on my lap. It was well received. But six of the previous decades had periods of war and the rest of the family preferred to look ahead so we clinked glasses and roared into the twenty-first century.!
tjs
Next - The Music Store

Customer Golf

One of my colleagues stationed in Japan invited a small group of Japanese customers for a friendly round of golf. The Japanese take their golf seriously. They have multi-tiered driving ranges. On the first tee as they were discussing low stakes bets, one of his guests went over to his bag and counted his clubs. Ouch.

Back in New Jersey we planned an outing for customers. The Chairman of USLines had a membership at the exclusive Baltusrol Club in Summit N.J. which had been the site of major tournaments. He graciously offered us his privileges. Now, not all "customers" are familiar with golfing etiquette and the country club environment. One of our representatives was a woman who rode the cart with the group. But when we went to the 19th hole for refreshment we found that the men's showers opened on to the lounge and our token female was barred from participation. We were appalled and embarrassed but we needn't have worried about a repetition as one of our guests was seen changing his shirt in the parking lot - (a huge NO NO) - a phone call was made the next morning - and we never returned to that plush masculine bastion.
tjs
Next - Why? Too kay?

The Circus

My old boss who was an intern with USLines in Liverpool circa 1938 told the following story: We had taken a circus eastbound in mid 1930s on a vessel with a shelter deck to accommodate animals. As war threatened in 1939 the owner of the circus came to us to arrange to bring the circus home. Except that now we had different type ships and we had to construct stalls on the main deck to accommodate primarily the three elephants who were the focus of the show. On the appointed day the elephants were delivered to the dock. We had constructed a gangway to get them on board. The mahout (elephant trainer) advised that the only way they would go  up the gangway was in a "trunk in tail" arrangement which was the way they moved in their act, i.e. number two trunk attached to number one tail and number three trunk attached to number two tail. We hastened to reinforce the gangway to handle this additional weight. As number one reached the top of the gangway, number two let go of her tail which was the signal to turn around so number one now tried to come down the gangway. We had to pass thru a lock so we had a timed sailing deadline which was rapidly fading. So we undocked the vessel to take her down stream and trucked the elephants down to meet her where they could almost walk on board. When New York received the sailing cable and noted we had three elephants on board they diverted the ship to Boston. This was twenty years before my friend Frank K. was manager of livestock as he would never have flinched from a few pachyderms.
tjs
Next - Customer Golf

St. Valentine

A Church history buff supplied the following:

"Roses are red - onions are odious - what used to be called St. Valentine's Day -
  is now known for Sts. Cyril & Methodius.
tjs
Next - The Circus

Hawaii calls

Since it is Valentine's Day I thought it appropriate to speak of a romantic place. In 1962 I visited Honolulu - partly on business but mostly on vacation. I planned to fly out and take the "boat" back to the mainland as they call California. The music is infectious and ever present - in the hotel room, the elevator and all the public rooms. One evening on the patio of the Moana Hotel under the famous banyan tree I looked south and the sky was red - they were doing an A-test on Johnson Island - six hundred miles away. The jet planes had not yet flooded the islands so that the most festive moments were known as "Boat Day" when the MATSON LINE vessels sailed. They were running two passenger ships - the LURLINE and the MARIPOSA between Honolulu and San Francisco. I had booked passage on the LURLINE and went down to the pier several days before to see the MARIPOSA off. The pier was under the famous Aloha Tower and the Royal Hawaiian Band in their dress white uniforms were playing farewell tunes. A tall prominent lady at the microphone was singing along and as the ship blew its whistles the flower leis began to fly from the portholes. There wasn't a dry eye in the crowd. So I knew what to expect when I would be sailing. When you pass Diamondhead on the way out the custom is to throw your lei on the water and vow to return. It has been fifty years and I have not yet returned. The run to San Francisco took  about four days - the first three the Pacific
lived up to its name - smooth ocean - as you approach the California coast the ocean floor is shallower and the last day got a bit choppy. We passed under the Golden Gate on a misty July morning to explore one of my favorite cities. Except wearing a poplin suit in July I nearly froze. Great memories. Aloha!
tjs
For your listening pleasure.....  Hawaiian Wedding Song
Next - St. Valentine

Sales Calls I

One day a NYC salesman invited me to ride shotgun with him to a client luncheon on the upper east side of NYC. We were to meet at the client's favorite restaurant where all the waitresses knew him. He was an older gent - walked with a cane - the waitress asked "The usual?" and brought him a glass shimmering with a dark liquid. Except he couldn't lift the glass - instead his lips went down to meet the elixir. And this was the starter. But he had no trouble lifting the second offering. We did some modest business and as I watched him walk down the street with a slight list, he had his cane to keep him on an even keel. But I felt for his staffers that afternoon. The guy had been drinking Rob Roys (Scotch Manhattans) at high noon. Pure fire water.!
tjs
Next - Valentine's Day

The British are Coming

Have you noticed the plethora of British accents flooding the television airwaves of late. The Queen's English is heard on reality shows, panel shows, all over the financial channels, with Larry King's replacement and we even have a Scotsman on a late night show. I have to admit - as a closeted Anglophile - "not that there is anything wrong with that." Of course many of these shows had their origin in England and were adapted for our viewing. We have always had British actors/actresses on our stage.
 Some years ago in New York it was fashionable to have a British secretary to answer the phone with her cultivated diction. One story had a caller "ringing up" asking to speak to Mr. Boss. The secretary said "I'm terribly sorry - he is not here - he has gone to the United Kingdom." The caller paused - then said "I'm sorry to hear that - is it too late to send flowers?"
tjs
Next - Sales Calls I

Housewarming

An end of week attempt at humor..........A lady invited her friend to see her new apartment on the east side of New York. She told her what subway to take and where to exit. And followed with the following directions: The address is 1485 and the doorman is off so press the door handle with your right elbow to enter the vestibule. Press my mailbox button with your left elbow and I will buzz you in. I am in 423 so when you enter the elevator press four with your right elbow. When you come to my door press my doorbell with your left elbow and I will let you in. Is that clear?......Guest said it is confusing, what is it with the elbows? Hostess replied "You're not coming empty-handed are you?"
tjs
Next - The British are coming .

Flea Market

Recently I visited a Flea Market for the first time. Hundreds of people milling around - some selling - a few buying and most browsing. It must be a weekend sport for some folks. I was there to thin out my LP collection of records and met with a vendor for an appraisal. He offered me fifty cents each for my "good" stuff and turned most of it away. It seems that I was living in the 1950s and he said the 1970s were "hot" - nothing like living in the wrong decade. Something like feeling that you're at the wrong party when there must be a better party cross town. Devastating! I gave my rejects to the Viet Nam Vets - I don't know whether they have a turntable but the colorful record jackets might have  some merit.

As a lover of limericks I once taught my young son the following:
 -A flea and a fly in a flue - were imprisoned so what could they do -
- let us flee said the fly - fly away said the flea -
- so they flew thru a flaw in the flue.
He learned it so well that his FLUENCY was FLAWLESS.
tjs
Next - Housewarming

Indian Ocean

There was a time when our company chartered several modern cargo vessels to the government for assignment on station near an island in the middle of the Indian Ocean. They had been built with rather luxurious passenger quarters which went unused. One day the U.S.Navy Commodore in charge of the area invited two of our captains to a meeting. It seemed that a U.S.O. troupe would be passing thru soon that included the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders and as the Navy did not have suitable accommodations, he asked if we could offer our unused passenger quarters. It was so agreed but soon one of our ships developed flooding in the engine room due to an open sea valve and a sistership came alongside to assist.
 The casualty was serious enough to cancel any plans for celebrity visitors which was a "bummer." With respect to screws and valves I learned at an early age "righty tighty - lefty loosey".
tjs
Next - The Flea Market

Block Island

With a three day summer week-end approaching, a group of us chartered a small sloop to sail on Long Island Sound. All started out well but by day two the weather kicked up and the Coast Guard was predicting a good blow so we headed for Block Island to anchor. Our ten pound Danforth anchor took a bite about twenty feet off the beach and we stayed awake all night on anchor watch. Many other boaters had also sought shelter and with daylight there were many swinging in the wind with resultant tangled anchor lines. The Coast Guard station was still flying storm flags and it appeared we would not get out very soon. As most of us were due back in our respective offices we lined up to use the radiophone - a common band - to announce our probable absences. We could overhear other boaters doing the same. One embarrassed chap in advising his office also had to explain that his secretary would also be among the missing. The moral seems to be "don't give your secretary sailing lessons."
tjs
Next - Indian Ocean

One Potato - Two Potato

There was a time we put the S.S.  AMERICAN JURIST into Searsport, Maine to load sacks of potatoes for Belgium. The stevedores rigged up a chute to slide the sacks down to the hold and they also rigged up a counter to count the sacks as they went down. Upon arrival at destination we were several bags short. Then the crew remembered that the Maine stevedores were seen sliding down the chute thereby being counted as sacks of potatoes. If this discrepancy had been in France the French would have raised a ruckus - always seeking to assess fines whenever they could. All the cargo manifests for France had to be stamped by the local French Consul who was always searching for typos to assess fines. He had been stationed in China for twenty years and now in Philadelphia he had developed an eye for round eyed ladies. To minimize penalties we sent our best looking employee over with the manifest but as she became uncomfortable we ended up sending an escort to chaperone so we had two people out of the office. Cher chez la femme!!
tjs
Next - Block Island

Super Sunday

Had not planned to post anything that might distract from the "game". As an Eagles fan I probably should root for the NFC team but as a native Pennsylvanian perhaps I should be cheering for the AFC team. In any event they appear to be evenly matched so let's hope that:
- they give us a good game with no serious injuries.
- the commercials are clever.
- and the half-time show is deserving of our time.
so let the hype end and let the game begin.
tjs
Next - One potato two potato.

Dog Tired

Today marks one hundred consecutive  days of posting - hence the title!
Next - Super Sunday

The Scales of Justice

A  husband and wife went food shopping - he knew she was a closet kleptomaniac
with light fingers and tried to keep an eye on her. But as expected she picked up a can of fruit and put it in her purse. The store owner saw this and had her arrested and she went before a magistrate - with her husband along side her. The judge said I understand you stole a can of fruit. She said yes - a can of peaches. He asked how many peaches were in the can. She said six. He said then to pay for your crime I think you should spend six nights in jail. Then her husband spoke up and said "she also stole a can of peas."
tjs
Next - Dog Tired

Chinese New Year

Today, February 3rd the Chinese celebrate the New Year of the Rabbit or Hare. They are exiting 2010 the year of the Tiger. Most large cities in the U.S.A. have their own Chinatowns - Grant Avenue San Francisco - Mott Street in Manhattan - Vine Street in Philadelphia, etc. Their celebrations can last fifteen days. Don't expect your laundry back too soon. And be sure to ask for a fortune cookie to see what is in store for you this year.
tjs
Next - The Scales of Justice

Groundhog Day

Today, February 2nd is Groundhog Day in Pennsylvania. It is the day that Punxsutawney Phil surfaces and if he sees his shadow, folklore has it that we will have six more weeks of winter. In medieval times this date was also known as Candlemas Day and the German farmers used a hedgehog to offer similar predictions. They had the following rhyme: If Candlemas be fair and bright - winter has another flight. If Candlemas brings clouds and rain - winter will not come again. Anyway, the mornings get a little brighter as we exit the cruel month of January - so can Spring be far behind? Tell it to the snowbound.
tjs
Next - Chinese New Year

Shipboard Entertaining

With Philadelphia sandwiched in between New York and Baltimore, our ship arrivals were subject to the previous port's operation as well as weather. As a result we shied away from trying to entertain clients on board as we might end up in a restaurant where the captain was not as impressive as a REAL ship's captain. But one June evening we got lucky. Our number one import account in the midwest had planned a retreat for their dozen department managers in the Philadelphia area. We had our newest class vessel due in on a Sunday for work on Monday. With fat in the schedule and maximum daylight in June we invited them for cocktails aboard ship. The New York stewards department placed two dozen ten ounce tumblers aboard- with the company logo etched thereon - and the shore staff supplied the liquid refreshment. However, someone forgot to advise the ship's Chief Steward so there were no hors douvres, canapes or nary a pretzel laid out - this would be a PURE cocktail party. With the decibels rising it became time to go ashore - and down the gangway they came - these midwestern folks who had never seen a ship - some still clutching their souvenir ten ounce tumblers. Fortunately, we didn't need the cargo nets at the ready and we bundled them into taxis for their next engagement.
And our business relationship was preserved.
tjs
Next - Groundhog Day