Floating Island

When I was a child my mother made a dessert she called "Floating Island" - a delicate custard with meringue on top. Now I see Wolfgang Puck has a recipe for it on Google. But we will soon be faced with another floating island of tsunami debris as a result of the earthquake in Japan in March. Environmental and maritime groups say the slowly eastward moving field is 2000 x 1000 miles in area and consists of small boats, refrigerators, televisions, etc estimated to be between five and twenty MILLION tons. It is moving at five to ten miles per day. It is expected to arrive Midway Atoll early 2012, Hawaii early 2013 and the Pacific Northwest in 2014. NOAA is watching it and notice to mariners has gone out. Obviously, it is a serious environmental issue to be monitored. Google as "tsunami debris" for additional photos. This is not your normal flotsam and jetsam, folks.
tjs
Next - Alone in the Crowd

Anniversary Issue

Today, October 29, 2011 is the first anniversary of this BLOG posting. Coincidentally, the Google scorekeeper tells me that this is also my 300th post. I didn't think it would last this long. You readers have been loyal and faithful. I have tried to comment on the passing parade as I witness it and I hope I may have brightened a rainy day for someone. Let's see where the next year leads us and I hope I do not get too political in an election year. Meanwhile, many thanks for your steadfast readership. (Feedback and comments always appreciated - although Google doesn't make it easy to do so.)
tjs
Next - Floating Island

Hold your breath!

Back in the 1950s in Philadelphia I had a fellow co-worker who came down with a case of hiccups and they persisted for several days until he was admitted to a local hospital. The medics tried the usual remedies - hold your breath - the paper bag treatment - scaring - a steady swallowing of water - nothing seemed to work. As a last resort they were considering "osculation" i.e. two lips on two lips when suddenly the spasms stopped. The upside of the story is while confined he met a student nurse and courted and married her and they lived happily in various assignments here and overseas. So, to all you fellows out there trying to impress the ladies, if your PICK UP line isn't working you might try the HICCUP line. Just make sure your medical plan covers it.
tjs
Next - Anniversary issue tomorrow.

Film Review

I do not get to the cinema as much as I used to but I do try to keep up with the reviews. Now this is not Siskel & Ebert and Pauline Kael has retired but the following rating was listed by the New York Times for the new release "Margin Call." The film is about the Wall Street collapse and presumes to shadow the demise of Lehman Brothers. It is rated "R" for "obscene language and obscene sums of money."!!! Now, here I sit month after month waiting for that Social Security check to arrive on the third Wednesday of the month and these people are objecting to "obscene sums of money." Better hide the kids when this one comes on the screen. And pass the popcorn.
tjs
Next - Hold your breath

A. Rooney Rant

Perhaps it is time for a "Rooney Rant" but Andy is nowhere to be found. So let's take up the cudgels:

Do we really need Daylight Saving Time into November? I hate these dark October mornings and I hate driving in the dark which probably is a generational thing.  And I shudder to see all the little children standing on the curb in the dark awaiting the school buses. Pretty soon we will roll back our clocks and extend that Saturday night party but the poor animals will awake to find a new traffic pattern. And those armadillos don't move very fast. I am all for energy conservation but I think we have carried it too far. Except I don't see the issue on the ballot yet. But then I recall that proverb "It is better to light a candle than to curse the darkness." Anybody got a match?
tjs
Next - Film Review
PS - Learned yesterday that Andy Rooney has been hospitalized and we wish him a speedy recovery.

Apocalypse Now

According to the Washington Post and various twitters, a California preacher announced that the world would end on Saturday, October 22, 2011. He said only believers would be saved. Atheists planned a "left behind party." Well, the date came and went. This is the fourth false prediction from this fellow and he has become worse than that boy yelling "wolf". I wonder what calendar he is using - does he realize we have leap years? This year is 4709 in the Chinese year of the rabbit, and we are currently in the Hebrew year 5772 so this might explain the poor fellow's confusion. In any event when I first heard his warning last week I still sent my laundry out. Stay tuned for his next proclamation.
tjs
Next - A Rooney Rant

Seeing Red

At a private  middle school in Northern England a group of twelve-year old girls began using lipstick and they applied it in the bathroom. After doing so they pressed their lips to the mirror leaving many red images of lips and each evening the maintenance man struggled to remove same only to find they were back the next day. The head mistress decided something had to be done and called the group to a meeting in the bathroom attended by the maintenance man. She wanted him to demonstrate the difficulty he encountered each evening removing the stains. He proceeded to take a long handled squeegee, dip it in the toilet bowl and wipe it across the mirrors. From that day forward there were no more lipstick stains on the mirrors. You might say they were flushed with success!
tjs
Next - Apocalypse Now

Funny? or punny? III

A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two-tired.

A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to the hospital. When his grandmother called to ask how he was  a nurse said "No change yet!"

What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing - but it let out a little whine.

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink.

When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
tjs
Next - Seeing Red (Mon.)

Personnel Matters

It was circa 1973 and  I had been District Sales Manager for USLines in Philadelphia for several years when my secretary announced she would be departing on permanent maternity leave and I was left to my own resources to replace her. I had no personnel experience but I set out to screen applicants as best I could.
Two women applied and we scheduled interviews. Applicant number one was a twenty something young woman, appeared very competent and could certainly run the office. But she showed up for the interview wearing hot pants which was a fashion rage of the day. Applicant number two was a mature woman who appeared to need the job. Now, I was supervising four salesmen all with different personalities and if I hired number one I feared I would have trouble getting them to leave the office to make their sales calls. I was and am all for the feminist movement but I called the home office and said "It's either hot pants or cold logic" - and I hired number two.
tjs
Next - Funny? or punny III

Childhood Games

Recently viewed an old black & white film on the Turner channel. "The Naked City" written by Mark Hellinger and starring Barry Fitzgerald as a New York City chief of homicide detectives. Each day from his open office window he watched the little girls jumping rope in the street. This street activity was always accompanied by a sing-song rhyme. With daily repetition Fitzgerald found himself finishing the rhyme. It was a nice throwaway scene. It took me back to my own childhood when the streets were our playground although the macadam surface was hot in summer. I used to sit on the curb and marvel at the "big" girls jumping rope. Their footwork was quick and agile - the boys could never do it. That's why the girls were always the better dancers. Our kids also had their homemade lyrics - one went something like this:
"My mother and your mother live across the street - fourteen nineteen Beechwood Street -
every night they have a fight - this is what they say -
Alabama - soda cracker - if your old man chews tobacco - he's a dirty BLEEP."

After which the rope turners accelerate the pace and the jumper keeps going until either she misses or jumps out. As the rhyme stuck in Fitzgerald's brain, so it did in mine for seven plus decades. I was amazed at the number of rhymes found in Google search "Jump rope rhymes" - but no one plays in the street anymore which is just as well.
tjs
Next -  Personnel Matters

Retribution

Some years ago I was "friends" (why do we use the plural?) with a couple and on social occasions the husband often would embarrass his wife in front of others. I knew she was hurt by his action and I took her aside one evening and said "The next time you are in a gathering why don't you introduce him as your first husband, Sam.  Maybe he will get the message." I don't know whether she ever did but a few years later she did acquire husband number two. I remained "friends" with all parties to the equation thereafter. Prescient? perhaps.
I recall a line from an old song "Be kind to your fine feathered friends" - and while you're at it shower some kindness on your spouse.
tjs
Next - Childhood Games

Marathon Man

The Huffington Post reported October 12th datelined London, England the following: A marathon runner in the north of England hitched a ride on a spectator bus at mile 20 and came in third. He beat his best time by twenty minutes. But, alas, he was discovered, denied and DQed. There must be something about hitting mile 20 that addles the brain as that is the same mileage marker as Heartbreak Hill in Boston. Perhaps there was no subway service in that town. This reference harkens back to the time in New York when a runner leaving the 59th st bridge into Manhattan took a short cut and rode the subway to arrive at the finish line somewhat refreshed - and exposed. The next New York marathon is Sunday, November 6th. If you are riding the subway that day and you see a fellow passenger in shorts with a number on their chest - if it is a southbound train they are heading for the Verrazano Bridge starting line - but if northbound that sweating person is heading for Central Park. Best to stay upwind from that one. And get his/her number.
tjs
Next - Retribution

Funny or Punny II

-He drove his expensive car into a tree and found out how the Mercedes bends.

-Police were called to a daycare where a three-year old was resisting a rest.

-There was once a cross-eyed teacher who couldn't control his pupils.

-I decided that becoming a vegetarian was a missed steak.

-Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

-Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you an A -flat minor.

-To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
tjs
Next - Marathon Man (Mon.)

Decisions, decisions

When I retired I thought I could escape from the day to day decision making, but, alas, I was wrong. Not a day goes by that I am not confronted with choices demanding immediate decisions. Witness the following:
paper or plastic - credit or debit - window or aisle - here or to go - straight up or on the rocks - hard boiled or soft - lady or the tiger (oops, wrong century) - it goes on and on - until the final curtain falls - and one has to decide - burial or cremation. But don't let it spoil your day. One hundred years ago George M. Cohan wrote a song titled "Life's a very funny proposition after all."
tjs
Next -Funny? or punny.

Hizzoner the Mayor

There is a long history of New York city mayors appearing in court as witnesses. This past week Mayor Bloomberg was a witness in a campaign money issue. While some were expecting fireworks from the usually arrogant and impatient city leader, it was said that he was terse and low keyed and somewhat forgetful of events considering he is a micro-manager. Some years ago when Mayor John Lindsay was on the stand the court had trouble with his middle name V-l-i-e-t - certainly a strange name for a WASP.
Mayor Ed Koch appeared on the stand several times, once being interrogated by Rudy Giuliani who handled him with kid gloves as Koch the extrovert was very popular and left the courtroom through the well shaking hands on the way out. The colorful Jimmy Walker was mayor from 1926-1932 - before and after the 1929 crash - he had been a song writer and played on stage before the footlights but got caught up in corruption and was forced to resign. But on the witness stand he loved to spar with his questioners. They were all colorful characters and good copy for the news media.
tjs
Next - Decisions, decisions

"Emptys cuming back"

My friend Jerry was a railroader at heart when he joined us in the shipping business. He brought a great trait with him - punctuality. He (like Mussolini) liked to have the trains run on time. He goes back to the days when box cars and gondola cars were the life blood of the railroads. Some had colorful names like the Delaware, Lackawanna and Western's "The Route of Phoebe Snow." And they wrote songs about railroads - The Wabash Cannonball - Chattanooga Choo Choo - and the Atcheson, Topeka & Santa Fe.
 Warren Buffet bought a railroad - The Burlington Northern. I thought of my friend Jerry when I ran across an old poem in my scrapbook:
"Have you ever sat by the railroad track - and watched the emptys cuming back?
lumbering along with a groan and a whine - smoke strung out in a long gray line -
belched from the panting injun's stack - just emptys cuming back."

I have - and to me the emptys seem - like dreams I sometimes dream -
of a girl -or munney - or maybe fame - my dreams have all returned the same -
swinging along the homebound track - just emptys cuming back." (By Angelo de Ponciano)
tjs
Next - Hizzoner the Mayor

Bull Run

Bull Run? no, not the Civil War battle - and not the running in Pamplona, Spain. This one is home grown and will take place in Cave Creek, Arizona north of Phoenix on October 14/16th. They expect hundreds of macho runners to go a quarter mile in front of dozens of rodeo bulls. They temper the danger by stating that these bulls are less "aggressive" than those in Spain - and their horns are "duller" so they won't gore you they will just "poke" you. And, unlike in Spain, they do NOT kill these animals. So if you have the $25. entry fee and sign a seven page waiver you can bring your mojo and a good pair of running shoes and get "the thrill of a lifetime" - they say it is better than drugs. Perhaps Nike or Reebok might like to sponsor some day. Oh, and don't wear a red shirt.
tjs
Next - "Emptys cuming back"

The Pill Pusher

My pharmacist is of the old school - he still calls his establishment an "apothecary". At age eighty-three he is still pushing pills and trying to decipher physicians' handwriting. He has a sign on his wall "SERENITY HERE - FRUSTRATION ELSEWHERE". That's one of the reasons I like to hang out with him. He recently told me that his wife's VISA card was stolen but he didn't report the theft as the thief was spending less than his wife. I hope he can hang in and not be devoured by Wallgreen and CVS.
tjs
Next - Bull Run

The Rhineland

A young friend of mine is moving to Cincinnati, Ohio for a job opportunity. As I learned you have to spell it before you can sell it. It was known as the Rhineland because of its German heritage. It is also the home of the Baseball Reds and football Bengals so he will have to alter his allegiances. Some years ago I made a singular sales call on Procter & Gamble, that city's marketing giant. Besides soap, peanut butter and diapers they also marketed Folgers coffee at that time.  As an icebreaker at lunch with our hosts I told them the following: A bartender in New York had created a new cocktail using equal parts coffee and Christian Brothers Brandy. He called it "Onward Christian Folgers". They accepted the pun with good humor and we continued to do business with this prominent Cincinnati client.
tjs
Next - The Pill Pusher

Wall Street

The Occupy Wall Street protests are now in their third week. The protesters have been joined by celebrities such as Michael Moore and Susan Sarandon and now they have received support of several unions which could give them some organizational structure. They have camped out in Zuccotti Park, a private property near Wall Street. There are food stations there and supporters are sending in pizza. They even have a library. But what they do not have are "johnny boxes" - a requisite for crowds. I read where those seeking relief have turned to McDonalds which is not the type of traffic that establishment normally entertains. That Golden Arch is so beckoning.
tjs
Next - The Rhineland

Fallout

In late 1961, at the height of the Cold War, President Kennedy was recommending fallout shelters for all Americans. Unknown to the public the government built two shelters for JFK - one in Florida near his Palm Beach estate - which is now a museum - and one in Nantucket near Hyannis port. The Navy Seabees completed construction in two weeks. In the Florida unit there was a replica of JFK's rocking chair. It was also outfitted with decontamination showers, gas masks, K rations, fifteen double cots to accommodate thirty persons (cozy). It was a very tense time. Eleven months later in 1962 the Cuban Missile Crisis erupted. One of my colleagues was in the Navy reserve and he went off for his two weeks training exercise but after two weeks he did not return to work and his family had no word from him. It turned out that he was on a destroyer participating in the naval blockade of Cuba. It was very scary at the time until Khrushchev blinked.
tjs
Next -Wall Street

One Hundred Proof

The following excerpted from Eagle Blue No. 24 - April 6, 2006 - from steamship annals:

On a cold snowy night at Tioga Terminal we had discharged a 6000 gallon intermodal tank of 100 proof scotch and a seal was noted as disturbed or missing. Fearing possible dilution or contamination, the pier hand was instructed to take samples to present to the surveyors next day. He dutifully dipped two mason jars thru the manhole, filled them to the brim, screwed on the lids and placed them in his desk drawer overnight. As the ice cold liquid warmed up in the warm office our friend heard "POW" "POW" as the jars exploded in his bottom drawer and lifted him out of his seat. Any Jr. 3rd engineer knows to leave a little ullage in the tank. (Ullage being the free space between the liquid surface and the tank top to allow for expansion.) By the way, the scotch was imported at 100 proof and later diluted to the 80 proof that we Yanks like to savor.
tjs
Next - Fallout