Auld Acquaintance

I have a friend who thinks New Year's Eve is for amateurs. He always stays home and when he lived in Manila, Philippines, he said all the people ran thru the streets shooting off carbines. I never liked to go out on that evening either but I do like to watch the "BALL" come down in Times Square, New York City. Before there was Anderson Cooper and his potty-mouthed partner, and before there was an ever youthful Dick Clark, there was an erudite commentator named Ben Grauer who was a famous NBC announcer who worked the countdown alone wearing a black overcoat and a black Homburg hat, and never at a loss for words. He called eleven "Eves" between 1951 and 1969 and was a fixture at the time as was Guy Lombardo playing the Roosevelt Grill and later the Waldorf Astoria. Somehow the current crowd don't cut it for me. For Auld Lang Syne, my friends. Happy New Year.
tjs

Winter Olympics

The Winter Olympics will be held in Sochi, Russia in the Black Sea area in February 2014. The Olympic Torch is currently on its 40,000 mile journey that has taken it to outer space and to the North Pole on its circuitous trip. Sarah Lyall's article in the NY Times is worth reading as she describes this incredible undertaking.
tjs
(Blog will be silent over the Christmas Holidays resuming in the New Year)
http://www.nytimes.com/2013/12/18/sports/olympics/got-a-light-olympic-torch-relay-seems-cursed-to-the-ends-of-the-earth.html?ref=sports&_r=0

Stowaways II

After WWII USLines inherited many foreign born captains from the Allied pool. One such was a Brit who wore a black beret when ashore.
His nickname was Limey and he was in command of a conventional freighter on the Australian run which could run to three months round trip and as such could attract a motley crew. It seems that several days out of Brisbane northbound headed to U.S. East Coast via Panama, he discovered two stowaways and did not wish to carry these individuals all the way to New York. A sister ship sailing southbound towards Brisbane was a rendezvous opportunity and Limey asked her master to take these blokes back to Australia but his request was declined. Being still in South Pacific waters Captain Limey made a sight deviation to the Pitcairn Island area (Fletcher Christian's bailiwick), lowered a life boat, put the stowaways in it with crew and instructed crew to put them ashore with water and gave the engineer a handgun to enforce if necessary. When he arrived in New York the crew reported him and his answer was "They were British subjects and I landed them on a British island. Case closed." Those were the days.
tjs
(Above excerpted from Eagle Blue No. 25 - April 10, 2006)

DCC

The Googler reminds me that this is post number 700 or DCC in Super Speak. I always wondered how the Romans added up their grocery bill. We have had three snow storms already and the Winter Solstice is still several days away when the pagans will do their dance to welcome the sun moving north again. And I left Florida for this! But we are looking forward to Christmas with family and loved ones. Hope you are too.
tjs

The Final Voyage

I recently received a survey from a local funeral parlor who had handled several burials of relatives. They were very considerate to not have called on the phone. Some of the questions were straightforward: age, sex, marital status and did I have a burial plot.  Then they asked how much I expected to pay for a burial. I paused - as Jack Benny would - then I threw a number at them -  approximately fifteen grand plus the cost of the after party. They asked if any special wishes. I said you can dispense with the bagpiper as that eerie tone would wake up the dead. And lay on your best embalmer to eliminate the wrinkles - and certainly no two day Irish wake. Lastly, they are sending me a kit and I can't wait to see its contents. Back in the real world, a friend of mine had the misfortune to die in New Jersey in the middle of storm Sandy just before Halloween 2012. They couldn't get a burial permit and after several days the family had him cremated - which was not his wish. Timing is everything.
tjs

The Abscam Scandal

In the rush up with the end of year drum beat for motion picture awards, one that caught my eye was titled "American Hustle". They are touting it as a comedy in full page ads in the NY Times with the comment "some of this actually happened." It certainly did back in 1978 when the F.B.I. set up a sting to ferret out corruption and bribery but there was nothing intentionally comedic about it then. A U.S. Senator, several members of congress and city of Philadelphia councilmen, all served jail time and a young congressman from South Philadelphia was expelled from the body. It was said he had a flippant motto "Money talks and BS walks."  But he came from a nice family - I knew his father. As Tip ONeill said "All politics is/are local." The film review for this "comedy" indicates an "R" rating for "corrupt politicians".
tjs
http://www.nytimes.com/2013/12/13/movies/american-hustle-with-christian-bale-and-amy-adams.html?ref=arts

Stowaways

A maritime newsletter reminds us that the problem of stowaways is still with us. Many years ago a U.S. Lines conventional cargo vessel departed from a European port destined New York. Unbeknownst to the master or crew, there were several stowaways on board. Several days out to sea our vessel was called upon to assist another ship in distress and stood by and eventually took survivors aboard, turned around and returned to port.  The stowaways figuring the number of days that had elapsed, thought they were in New York and left their hiding place and stole ashore where they were apprehended by the German waterfront police. What a surprise! And what a nuisance for the Captain.
tjs
More on this subject at a later time.

Moby Dick

Something I did not know. Herman Melville wrote his famous novel MOBY DICK in 1851 but apparently he could not make a living as an author so in 1866 he became a Customs Inspector in the Port of New York stationed along West Street near what is now the meat packing district. He covered the Hudson (North) River all the way up to Harlem inspecting cargoes and ships. His pay was $4.00 per day. This is the area that eighty years later was the focus of U.S. Lines cargo operations (B.C.) before containers - from West 19th Street up to West 22nd Street which is known as Chelsea. Pier 59 at 19th Street handled all the scotch whiskey from Glasgow and you could smell it from blocks away. The movie "On the Waterfront" was filmed in Hoboken N.J. but the cargo handling was the same as found on the Manhattan side of the river.
tjs

Apostleship of the Sea

The Apostleship of the Sea ministers to the spiritual needs of seamen in the various ports around the world. A colleague of mine belongs to the New Orleans chapter where the priest assigned there occasionally signs on as an "able bodied" seaman (A.B.) to sail with the merchant mariners on their current voyage. Some years ago I belonged to the chapter in the Port of Philadelphia where the chaplain assigned was a blue collar type from the Pennsylvania coal regions. He was assigned to a waterfront parish where he could also minister to longshoremen and waterfront workers. One snowy night his phone rang at 3AM - a young man in his parish called to say his father had died while sitting in his favorite chair and could the padre come to administer the last rites. The priest asked if the young man had notified the funeral director. The lad said he was going to wait until daylight to call him. Raising his voice, the priest directed him to call the undertaker immediately - OR  - they would have to break your father in half with a sledge hammer. Yes, rigor mortis does set in. And so, these men of cloth perform their duties on sea and land.
tjs

The End of an Era

When I lived in New York some years ago we often listened to John B. Gambling's radio show on WOR-AM 710 which he started in 1925 - he called it "Rambling With Gambling". Upon his retirement he passed the baton to son John A. and recently to third generation John R.  WOR way back was called the Bamberger Broadcasting Co. and I think they were then located in New Jersey. Now, after eighty-eight years, they will ramble no more - with the last show December 20th.  There was always a civil discussion and they regularly interviewed the mayor. The announcement said they were retiring the morning show voluntarily
but WOR also announced their preparation for the arrival of Rush Limbaugh for an afternoon time slot. Personally, if I were still living in New York I would prefer a ramble with Gambling to a gambol in the rushes. (IMHO)
tjs
(Note - WOR was founded by The Bamberger Broadcasting Service in 1922  headquartered in Newark NJ the purpose was to sell more radios.)

A Marriage of Convenience

I am indebted to my good friend Bill V. for the following: An eighty year old lady was being interviewed on the occasion of her fourth marriage - to a funeral director. When asked to describe her previous husbands she answered "In my twenties I married a banker - in my forties he was a circus ringmaster - and in my sixties it was a preacher."
The interviewer remarked on the unique differences in her choices. She paused, smiled, and said "Well, it was like this - one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready - and four to go."
tjs

Strange Bedfellows

During a slow Tuesday at the office, my cousin John thought he could squeeze in eighteen holes at the local club. He knew, being a "onesome" that the club pro or starter would have to match him with other players. Upon arrival he found that the only golfer waiting to play was an older fellow and the starter said "You are it - and off you go." For the first three holes the old chap held his own in silence. At the fourth John's drive strayed and landed behind a pine tree obstructing his line to the green. While he was pondering his options - boldness or prudence - the senior finally spoke up. He said "When I was your age I could clear that tree with a seven iron." John stared at him as he grabbed the seven from his bag. He hit the ball clean but it caught the top of the pine tree and fell into the rough. John was livid and turned on the old man - "I thought you said you cleared that tree with a seven." The old fellow replied 'Aye, Johnny, but when I was your age that tree was only six feet tall." To his credit John did not hurl his seven into the nearby pond.
tjs
(Forgive me if I have repeated this story - we seniors consider it a do-over or a Mulligan.)

Wine Tasting

When we sold our house in Florida last year we used the Prudential Realtor Group whose blue & white signs dot the countryside.  But we just heard from them that they had been bought out - lock, stock and barrel - by Berkshire Hathaway the flagship of Warren Buffet, the famous Oracle of Omaha. That foxy fellow didn't want just a "piece of the Rock" - he wanted the "whole Gibraltar".  The agent commented that "those blue and white signs will now change to Cabernet" - the color of the Berkshire Hathaway logo. Wow! I didn't know there was a wine connoisseur hiding out among the corn husks of Nebraska. BTW before the stock split in January 2010 it's share price was $3475.
tjs

Old News

While my back was turned over the Thanksgiving holidays, I missed the following items from the printed press:
-The National Institute of Health announced they would be sending 300 research chimpanzees into retirement sanctuaries at the tax payers expense. They would live in minimum groups of seven, have 1000 square feet per chimp, have access to outdoors and the opportunity to forage for food - most of which privileges I have except I don't like crowds. An activist was quoted "A chimpanzee should no more live in a lab than a human should live in a phone booth."

- The NY Times reported that a police helicopter crashed thru the roof of a Glasgow, Scotland pub on the eve of the St. Andrew's holiday and while the band was playing. Unfortunately, there were fatalities. This seemed to be a departure from normal protocol as during a raid the police usually came thru the front door.

-The Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation, with their interest in Africa, have promoted a contest to build a better condom - "the next generation" There were 812 ideas submitted, whittled down to 11 winning designs and now move to the next round. The author of the article stated that "people were encouraged to erect a better condom."
http://www.triplepundit.com/2013/11/gates-foundation-building-better-condoms/
tjs

Where Were You?

On this date every year, any adult over age fifty-five, will ask that question as we remember the day our world shook and as someone wrote "we suffered the loss of innocence."  November 22, 1963 was a Friday. I was working on plans for our waterfront Communion breakfast to be held on the Sunday and a Maryknoll missionary friend home on leave from East Africa agreed to address our group and our budget allowed for a honorarium of fifty dollars. Then he called to say that his local parish pastor offered him the opportunity to speak at all the Sunday masses and keep the proceeds of all the collections - which dwarfed my offering so I released him from his promise and he provided a substitute missionary from Bolivia. After JFK was shot on the Friday all the churches overflowed on the following Sunday and my friend had a financial windfall to take back to Tanzania. So that a large scale tragedy on one hand resulted in a small scale serendipity on  the other.
The National Football League decided to go ahead with their scheduled Sunday games and as I had tickets and a Bolivian missionary on my hands, I took him to the Eagles game and Franklin Field was packed with 60,000 attendees. It was then that word circulated thru the crowd that Jack Ruby had fatally shot Oswald on live TV.  For those of us alive back then it was an unforgettable five days and the memories come flooding back with today's commemoration. R.I.P. JFK.
tjs
(The Blog will be silent next week as we celebrate Thanksgiving with family - resume in December)

The Merry Mex

Many golf fans will recognize Lee Trevino, the Mexican-American famous for his golfing ability as well as his humor. He once carried a rubber snake in his bag and during a playoff with Jack Nicklaus in a U.S. Open he came out of the weeds and threw the snake at Jack who took it in good fun even in the midst of a serious championship - Trevino won that match. One time he lingered on the course during an electric storm and was struck by lightning. Asked what he would do in the future he said he would grab a number one iron because not even God can hit a "one". He was a blue collar kind of guy and when he lived in Texas he used to mow his own lawn. While grass cutting and perspiring one day an auto pulled up to his curb, a woman inside rolled down her window and asked him how much he charged for yard work. He came over to her and said "I have an arrangement with the lady inside - she lets me sleep with her and I take care of her lawn."The woman rolled up her window and sped away.
tjs

Going for the Gold

The winter Olympics will be held in Sochi, Russia beginning in February 2014. At these events it is routine to test samples from athletes to assure that banned substances have not been used to enhance performance. We have seen such practices in the worlds of cycling and baseball where individuals seek an edge on competitors similar to what certain Wall Streeters do with inside trading. But with the big show only three months away we now hear that the laboratory setup at Sochi does not pass muster for quality to determine desired results. The same situation has arisen in Brasil where the World Cup is to be held in June 2014. In Brasil's case - with fewer athletes to check - they are planning to fly their "samples" to Switzerland for analysis. If Russia elects to go the Swiss route the labs there will be working overtime. And so it is as the chase for miscreants goes on. I am reminded of a certain late Sen. Charles W. Tobey of New Hampshire who served on the Kefauver Crime Committee in 1950 at a televised hearing where he was questioning an elusive member of an alleged "crime" family.  Sen. Tobey, who was an ardent Baptist and down east Yankee,  finally yelled at him "Be ye clean!" We could use that chant today.
tjs

Going to the Dogs II

When we traveled with our twenty-five pound Scottish terrier, she always rode in the baggage hold of the airplane in her kennel carrier for the two hour flight - and for a fee. However, if I could obtain a letter from a mental health professional, Bonnie Lass could have been certified as "an emotional support animal" - sit on my lap - and ride FREE.  Such designation differs from that of a "service" animal such as seeing eye dogs.  And it appears that an "emotional support" animal is not exclusive to just dogs! With planes currently running full there is always jockeying for the arm rests so take notice of your neighbor in the adjacent seat who may have a "lap full." And hope you don't have an allergy. One low cost airline expects to carry 20,000 emotional support and service animals this year - an average of 400 per week. While my air travel is limited these days, I thought I would alert you to the trend which seems to be growing.
tjs
http://www.nytimes.com/2013/11/16/business/emotional-support-with-fur-draws-complaints-on-planes.html

Mistaken Identity

In the recent election in Boston, Marty Walsh was elected the new mayor. It seems that there are six Martin Walshes in the Boston directory and when Joe Biden called to congratulate, he was connected to the wrong Marty. Biden being Biden he probably congratulated the surprised Marty for being Irish.
Similarly, there are at least two Jonathan Martins out there - one a professional football player and the other a reporter for a prominent New York newspaper - the latter recently finding his hashtag buzzing with unanticipated activity - some of which unprintable.  Then I began to think that there are hundreds of individuals out there bearing my own surname and, hopefully, none of them commits a heinous crime else my dormant "hashtag" will come alive from those vicious vendors of venomous vitriol. Alas, such is life when fame or fortune - albeit misplaced - comes your way.
tjs

On Second Thought

It's the second mouse who gets the cheese.

At a public restroom, incoming traffic has the right of way.

You can lead a horse to water but if you can get him to do the backstroke, ya got something.

One good turn gets all the blanket.

Technology is the knack of so arranging the world that we don't have to experience it. - Max Frisch.

The meek may inherit the earth but they won't get many rebounds.

No good deed goes unpunished.
tjs

Social Media Shortcomings

My cousin John, also a Scorpio, died suddenly last July. His birthday would have been celebrated this week. So several days ago I received a "pop up" reminder from F-book to wish John a happy birthday and perhaps send him a gift. Now I realize that there are millions of friends out there busy friending each other and the F-book founders are pre-occupied with the price of their stock, so no one has time to read the daily obituaries. All the same, it is a bit of a jolt for families working thru their grief to receive such reminders months after the death of a loved one. Can't quite bring myself to defriend the dead. Just a thought.
tjs

Going to the Dogs

New regulations and revelations have penetrated the Swiss Banks' ability to hide funds from tax collectors.  This has caused many depositors to move money around within the Euro Zone. It has been moving in suitcases, shoe boxes and even secreted in baby carriages. The denomination favored is the 500 Euro note in bundles. While much of it slips thru, some security groups at airports have been training sniffer dogs to detect "the ink on banknotes." Wow! So the next time you are passing thru airport security and you see a German Shepherd approaching, hold onto your wallet and hope you don't have a stray 500 Euro note stuck between your greenbacks. Caveat emptor!
tjs

Currency Exchange

Russia, in its continuing effort to portray the Ruble as a safe currency for investment, is seeking a symbol similar to our dollar sign ($). The logical approach might be to use the capital R but in the Cyrillic alphabet an R looks like a P - and this could be confusing. They have suggested five signs using R and P with vertical and horizontal lines. The Central Bank announced that one symbol is heavily favored and investors are holding their breaths to learn the victor. BTW, the Ruble is trading at 30 to the dollar - or about three cents each.
tjs
http://www.nytimes.com/2013/11/07/world/europe/ruble-hopes-to-join-ranks-of-the-dollar-and-euro.html

Zodiac Sign

Today, as I turn another page in the book of life, I find myself surrounded by a cyclone of Scorpios, including my daughter-in-law, Godchild and my personal physician who opined that we both being fellow Scorpios may explain why we get along so well. But I can't fail to include my late father-in-law whose centenary of his birth is today - we shared eleven-eleven. He was a man of great integrity. In his professional life he was a CPA and tax accountant and you could take his numbers to the bank. In his family life he educated his five daughters which was not a common practice of the day. He was a very thoughtful man and graciously welcomed me into his family. In his later years I grew to appreciate his views on life and sought his opinions on sundry subjects. My Irish grandmother might have described him as "a man you won't meet every day." John, I hope you will save me a seat behind the Pearly Gates - but not too soon.
tjs

Quotes of the Week

A prominent Tech firm explaining its third quarter loss:........."due to noncash intangible asset impairments." I can empathize with them as I have experienced similar "impairments" trying to balance my checkbook.

The U.S. Attorney in New York is waging a crusade against insider trading in the Hedge Fund Industry and was quoted "no firm should consider itself TOO BIG TO JAIL" Ouch!

The "largest" mayor of the largest Canadian city has admitted to smoking crack cocaine - "probably in one of my drunken stupors."  Wow! I haven't heard that descriptive phrase in a long time. It seems so twentieth century.

Sorry to close on a down note but enjoy the weekend anyway......and the holidays to follow.
tjs

Red Buttons Remembered

Some years ago we held a testimonial dinner for a retiring colleague and in the spirit of Toasting/Roasting I offered to paraphrase a Red Buttons routine about all the famous people in history who "never got a dinner":
-Napoleon's weather forecaster-
-Dwight Eisenhower's speechwriter-
-Richard Nixon's makeup man-
-Dan Quayle's spelling teacher-
-Bill Clinton's hair stylist (she never got a dinner)-
-Harry Houdini's locksmith-
-Fidel Castro's valet-
-Manuel Noriega's plastic surgeon-
-Amelia Earhart's navigator-

All these important people operating in the wings "NEVER GOT A DINNER" - and yet, you my friend, are being feted with a "dinner".... He lived another fifteen years in retirement and never missed a dinner.
tjs

Bullying

The dreaded word "bullying" has reared its head again in the headlines - this time spreading its misery into professional football locker rooms. The tactic can manifest itself early on the playground, then gravitate thru school corridors and lunch rooms and then go viral on social media sometimes contributing to teen suicides.  I once worked with a colleague who was a retired professional football
player. He had two Super Bowl rings  - one on each hand to balance himself as they were huge. Once, while discussing the subject of hazing at training camp, he volunteered that they used to make the rookies stand on a chair in the dining hall and sing their school song. Pretty tame compared to what we read today. But this was forty-some years ago when they still wore leather helmets and made a lot less money.
tjs

Big - Bigger - BIGGEST

Ed Sullivan used to call it a "really big show" - Woody Allen might say "Gigantic" in his New Yorkese. So I read where a prominent television manufacturer whose name begins with "S" has come

 out with an 85 inch set. That's seven feet one inch - some of my walls are not that wide. How far do I have to sit back to watch? Will I be outside looking thru the window? Do I need to wear special glasses? Must I hire ushers with flashlights?  Egad! For someone weaned on a twelve inch black and white  Philco set this sounds enormous and at least eye-popping. How high is up?
tjs

'Tis the Season

With Christmas merchandise popping up all over already it appears we are in for a long holiday season culminating with singing carols on Christmas Eve. One of my favorites is a Welsh carol dating to 1866 which lyrics go as follows:
-Deck the hall with boughs of holly - Fa la la la la la la la la.
-'Tis the season to be jolly - Fa la la la la la la la la.
-Don we now our gay apparel - troll the ancient Christmas carol - Fa la la la la la la la la.

Now comes Hallmark changing my apparel to "fun" - after 150 years they want to alter gaiety to just "fun". Now the Salvation Army will have to change all their songbooks as I have to change my apparel. As Scrooge would say "Humbug!" We already have "Xmas" and the suggestion of a "Holiday" Tree and even Kramer's (of Seinfeld) invention of "The Festivus for the rest of us" with his aluminum tree/pole. I really wish they would stop tampering with tradition.
tjs

Fall Back

This Sunday we "Fall Back" and regain that hour we lost last spring. I have always thought that Daylight Saving Time lasted too long. Now we have the chore of changing all the wall clocks, kitchen appliance clocks, radio clocks and nobody alerts the small animals crossing the road that a new dawn is dawning. Armadillos are particularly slow. My personal hiccup occurred on the Spring Forward end some years ago when I planned my annual exodus from cold Philadelphia to the sunny Caribbean. PanAm had only one flight from PHL daily at 10AM - My travel agent - also representing the carrier - anticipating the change over on the first Sunday in March - issued me a paper ticket for an 11AM departure.  But when I arrived at the airport with my baggage and tennis racquet, the plane was gone as PanAm had not changed their timetable. The agent was closing shop to go home and didn't want to see me standing there. He offered that there was a flight from New York JFK that afternoon, did I want to rebook. I said yes - how do I get to JFK? He suggested I take the Pennsylvania Railroad whereupon I demurred quietly - after all it was Sunday morning. With my protest ringing in his ear he began working the phones and found me a shuttle flight to JFK leaving shortly - connections made - and I arrived at my destination in time for the vertical sunset followed by the green flash - and a story for the cocktail crowd.
tjs

Old Cape May

I spent a long weekend in Cape May at the southern tip of New Jersey to check on the bird watchers as this is the season and the Cape is a flyover location. There were plenty of watchers but most of the birds had gone and were being welcomed down in Mexico. I didn't see even one double breasted seersucker. But the Blue Pig Cafe had a roaring fire going and they were serving a smooth chardonnay with a St. Francis label so I had a tasting in honor of the Pope. Cape May is a small town with only one gas station and N.J. is a full service operation. The attendant apologized for keeping me waiting - almost floored me. I was also pleasantly surprised that the price of regular was only $3.18 per gallon having paid $3.43 in the city. He blamed the government shutdown when no one was driving to work and inventories built up. One can see the rippling effect right down to the gas pump.
tjs

Step Right Up

The episode with the circus recalled that my closest brush with the animal kingdom was of the stuffed variety. While working the booking desk in Philadelphia I received a call from the owners of a "Ma and Pa" carnival group who wanted to send a trailerload of stuffed teddy bears to Honolulu for the Hawaii State Fair.  Hawaiian rates were negotiable and we agreed on $3000. for trailer and contents - PREPAID. On the appointed day - Friday - they arrived at the pier and the "Ma" half of the partnership came into the chief clerk's office with a large carpet bag filled with 3000 crumpled up dollar bills which she proceeded to dump on his desk. Several longshoremen lingering there were bugeyed - the banks back then closed at 3PM - and the petty cash drawer couldn't accommodate this windfall so the poor cashier had to babysit it at home over the weekend. Talk about money laundering! But when all is said and done there is nothing like cash on the barrel - or on the Chief Clerk's desk!
tjs
(Above excerpted from EagleBlue No. 12 - March 2, 2006)
(Blogger will be out of pocket for a week as we head down to Cape May to check on the bird watchers as this is flyover season.)

Still More Pondering

It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end - someone from California will try to pass them.
If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

The things that come to those who wait may be the things left by those who got there first.

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day - teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.
Flashlight: a case for holding dead batteries.

God gave you toes as a device for finding furniture in the dark.

When you go into court you are putting yourself in the hands of twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.
End
tjs

Pachyderms on Parade

My former boss at USLines was stationed in Liverpool circa 1938 when he received a phone call from a lady who owned a small circus which centerpiece included three elephants. She said that we had brought the troupe eastbound several years before and as Hitler was heating up Europe it was now prudent to head home so a booking was arranged. We were then berthing in the Mersey area inside a lock which required a timed tidal sailing. At the appointed day the troupe arrived at the quay and we had to jury rig a special gangway. The mahout handling the elephants said they would only move up the gangway - "trunk in tail" as they were trained to do in their act. We began to reinforce the gangway. So number two trunk entwined with number one tail and likewise three with two. With all three now heading up the gangway it began to sway which spooked number two who let go of number one tail. This was a signal in their act for number one to turn around who now proceeded to try to get DOWN the gangway. Confusion reigned and we were faced with losing our tide - so they undocked the vessel - moved her downstream - vanned the elephants down the road to meet her where the freeboard was lower and practically walked the beasts on board. When New York received the sailing telex including the animals they diverted the ship to Boston. Cowards!
tjs
(Above repeated from Eagle Blue No. 12 March 2, 2006)

Among Friends

We are party to a real estate matter being handled by a respected estate lawyer who happens to be a Quaker so one can be reassured that all dealings will be transparent, above board with complete fair play in evidence. I recall the story of the elderly Quaker lady riding a crowded bus where she was forced to be a strap hanger in front of two young men seated who were busily chatting and working their hand helds. Looking down at them she whispered in her Quakerly voice "Thee forgets thyself!"
Amen.
tjs

Double Indemnity

The following is not for the faint of heart. Just read where the Iranians hanged a drug felon, let him dangle twelve minutes in a noose then shipped him off to the morgue. The next day the morgue found him to be breathing so the presiding judge ordered him hospitalized for rehanging "once medical staff confirm his health condition is good enough." A human rights advocacy group said the order "does appear to be setting a precedent to the best of our knowledge in cases of hanging." Now, the Iranians (Persians) have been around for several thousand years - you would think they would have their routine down pat by now.  But they are believed to have executed 508 people in this year alone so it is possible the hangman suffered from fatigue. The least they could have done was measured the poor guy's collar.
tjs
http://www.nytimes.com/2013/10/18/world/middleeast/after-man-survives-hanging-iran-plans-a-second-attempt.html?ref=world

Trick or Treat

In over 650 postings I have refrained from waxing political -but recent events have pushed me over the edge. I just heard that the most popular Halloween mask this year will be that of the junior Senator from Texas. I must admit he does have an uncanny facial resemblance to the Occupy Wall Street harlequin. Those masks must be in abundant supply.
And the former part time governor of Alaska has considered the government shutdown to be an impeachable offense. Once upon a time there was a former congressman from Georgia who thought that Monica Lewinsky was an impeachable offense  - a "high crime and misdemeanor" - we know how far that went. It looks like we are afloat until the next crisis - but I did receive my S.S. check this week and it didn't bounce. Are better days ahead?
tjs

More Pondering

The following from a reader's reader:

Light travels faster than sound. That is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

He who laughs last thinks slowest.

A day without sunshine is like, well, night.

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.

More later.
tjs

A Philly Landmark

After several years being shuttered, we learned that Old Original Bookbinders Restaurant is scheduled to reopen under new ownership. This landmark in Olde City was a favorite watering hole for steamship people, particularly after John Taxin the produce man took over in the 1950s. We had many Christmas Eve luncheons there with an accordionist serenading the crowd in the bar. My colleague, Big Mike, tried to con the accordion man to visit our pier to play for the longshoremen. Back in those days we at USLines were entrusted to carry U.S. Foreign mail to Europe. While entertaining Post Office employees was officially taboo, we found that their New York superiors were amenable to a few perks. Late in the season Notre Dame came into town to play Penn and this was a hot ticket and we invited our Postal friends to attend. The night before there was a heavy snowfall and the stadium was frigid at game time. With Johnny Lattner and Notre Dame running away with the game, by the third quarter Big Mike hustled our guests into taxis and off to "Bookies" they went. The brandy flowed and the lobsters clawed and at banquet's end the waiter dropped the "tab" on the table. A New York hot-shot picked it up - looked at it - and quickly dropped it. Big Mike called the waiter over, gave him his business card and a twenty dollar bill and held his breath. With smiles all around they headed for the exit and the train back to New York and Monday morning Big Mike had his first credit card from Old Original Bookbinders. Those were the days!
tjs

The Plaza

I read that last week they held a "roast" for Dick Cheney at the Plaza Hotel in New York City.  The usual suspects were in attendance though the press was not invited. Can only hope they checked their firearms at the door. As we have no first hand witnesses, we can only depend on little Eloise eavesdropping from her perch on the wall - but she may have covered her ears.
The Plaza - before her conversion to partial condo use - was a comfortable meeting place - with afternoon tea in the Palm Court and a string ensemble playing Viennese waltzes. The Oak Room bar was a more masculine watering hole. One late night our group arrived there with clients in tow and the room was packed. With no fanfare the maitre'd magically produced a table for eight. Never underestimate the talent and finesse of a New York maitre'd. I hope they didn't burn the roast - perhaps just a bit of a singe.
tjs

What's in a Name?

The Vatican struck a commemorative medal in connection with the ascension of the new Pope Francis to the throne of St. Peter. But the inscription in Latin around the edge misspelled the name Jesus - substituting an L for the J. They printed 6000 copies in gold, silver and bronze and four were sold before the error was caught.  When I worked in New Jersey I acquired a new boss with a multi-syllable surname of Mediterranean extraction. For the first week I made sure I could spell and pronounce his name correctly. Some years ago there was a story making the rounds in Washington, D.C. when a particular government department was having a rapid turnover at the top. A supervisor on his way to lunch instructed his secretary "If the boss calls, get his name!" Too bad the Romans didn't have SpellCheck..........mea maxima culpa!
tjs

Current Currency

As a child of the great depression I developed a considerable respect for money. With my first paper route I bought the papers for two cents and sold them for three cents - a fifty percent profit - but not enough volume. In the shipping business I was adept at dealing with British sterling - pounds - shillings and pence which denominations were in twelfths. Cross border travel in Europe always left one with a pocket full of strange coins i.e. marks, francs and guilders. And you might need a wheel barrow to handle the Italian lira of the time. But I was always partial to those presidents' pictures - even though Hamilton and Franklin never made it to the White House. The Franklin 100 note has become the bill of choice by the global drug lords so the U.S. Mint is reissuing this one with special paper and bells and whistles built in. It's "like" playing the game "Whack a Mole" for as we take action to block, the bad guys come up with another gimmick i.e. the BITCOIN which Wikipedia describes as a Cryptocurrency - dealt peer to peer - with no central authority to eliminate the risk of devaluation. Years ago we had a saying "Don't take any wooden nickels." Now the advice is "Beware of crypto Bitcoins."
tjs

Cheating

The troubling subject of cheating has been in the news lately:

-Up to seventy students have returned awkwardly to an Ivy university after a year suspension for cheating.
-NY Times science section October 8th discussed the thrill some people get from undetected cheating.
-And finally there was the article on cheating spouses which indicated that the males were partial to Guinness. I presume they meant the beverage and not the Record Book. This was probably a preference that Budweiser and Coors would gladly pass up.
tjs
http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/10/07/in-bad-news-cheating-feels-good/vv

Dogs are people, too

Continuing in a canine theme, a loyal reader has commented on the NY Times article as titled above wherein a neuro-scientist has trained a dozen dogs to enter a MRI scanner and look directly at their brains. He treated them as persons, had a consent form signed and had them wear earmuffs to protect them from the decibels the scanner makes. I have always thought that dogs were pretty smart. There is a story about a ship at sea that picked up a blip on the radar of an unidentified vessel approaching on a collision course. Radio contact was not returned and a few blasts on the whistle had no effect. The captain took evasive action and as the mystery vessel passed close to her path he could see no one on the bridge except a black dog running about after which a person appeared to take the helm. It was presumed that the dog was trained to awaken the master when a ship would approach. Blackie would have been a good candidate for the MRI project.
tjs
http://www.nytimes.com/2013/10/06/opinion/sunday/dogs-are-people-too.html?pagewanted=all

One Potato, Two Potatoes

In break-bulk days (pre Container) U.S. Lines put the S.S. AMERICAN JURIST into Searsport, Maine to lift a cargo of potatoes in sacks to feed the post war German populace. With a considerable number of sacks to be handled manually, the Searsport stevedores rigged up a slide/chute with a counter to slide the sacks down into the hold. Upon arrival in Rotterdam it was noted there was a shortage of several bags on outturn. It was then that a ship's crewman remembered that he witnessed several Maine longshoremen sliding down the chute thereby counting themselves as sacks of potatoes. Mystery solved! So whether you like them baked, mashed or fried - they are just plain spuds.
tjs
(Above excerpted from Eagle Blue Vol. 2 No. 16 -January 29, 2007)

Mondo Cane (A Dog's World)

Our apartment complex has recently become the home of several small canines. We have noticed that one of these pets sets to barking every day at noon - presumably to be fed or walked. We can set our clocks by its call. It reminds me of the story of another apartment dweller who worked nights and slept days. His neighbor in the adjoining flat worked days and owned a large dog who needed a daily run. He noticed that his pet grew agitated when the phone rang and it proceeded to run thru the limited area until the ringing stopped. To offer the animal a minimal dose of exercise, he decided to telephone his apartment every day around noon, give it at least ten rings and know that Bowser was taking his laps around the sofa. Of course this activity disturbed the sleeping neighbor who finally bribed the super to permit him entrance next door just before noon and after five rings on the phone he picked up the receiver and breathed heavily into it and then replaced it in its cradle. For some strange reason his sleep was never again disturbed. And they lived happily - and neighborly - ever after.
tjs

Supply & Demand

A while back we wrote of the bike racks appearing in Manhattan as part of a Bike Share program. We then read about two men arriving simultaneously at a bike rack and there was only one cycle available. Both were in a hurry but being reasonable fellows, one suggested they solve the dilemma by falling back on the children's game of "Rock, paper, scissors" with the winner taking the bike. And so it was that rock vanquished paper with rock riding off downtown leaving paper in the gutter waving for a taxi.  Would that our Washington, D.C. representatives could settle their disputes so amicably. So it's off to the playground, children - but be careful with those scissors.
tjs

Heartache & Tears

At first it was sequestration - now they are choking the nation.
Portfolios shrinking - ship of state sinking - what are they thinking?
Red states bleeding - blue states pleading - where is this leading?
Confusion & delusion - but hardly amusing!
Where have all the statesmen gone?
tjs

No Comment!

Many writers and publications are beginning to discourage comments to their articles due to the increase in incivility rampant on the Internet. The latest to shut off comments is Popular Science Magazine who said that vicious, insulting or ignorant "on line" comments can pollute otherwise intelligent discussions and undermine public understanding. The violators have been described as "trolls" and "spambots". Wikipedia states that "troll" comes from Norse mythology and Scandinavian folklore so we can see that these individuals are not living in the real world. Further - a "troll" sows discord to provoke argument. The "spambot" is a new one for my ever expanding vocabulary. Just an automated computer program designed to assist sending SPAM. It seems that everyone wants their fifteen minutes of fame but they want it every day.  What did these "people" do before there was an Internet?  Archie Bunker might have told them to "stifle it" - or perhaps they ended up kicking the dog.
tjs
http://www.nytimes.com/2013/10/01/science/comment-ban-sets-off-debate.html

Vocabulary

A new word (for me) has recently appeared in social media - "twerking" - it can be a noun or a verb.
Oxford Dictionary describes it as "Dancing to pop music in a sexually provocative manner." Wikipedia is further descriptive.  It takes me back to early visits to the Caribbean where the calypso singers all had risque lyrics filled with double entendre.  The Mighty Sparrow was a headliner in the carnival tents in Trinidad. One of the many calypso numbers they sang sounded something like this:
-"Bock to bock - belly to belly - we don't give a damn - we done dat already -
-"Bock to bock - belly to belly - it's the Goombay Jamboree."
I had the good fortune to be in Port of Spain, Trinidad at the time of a Carnival rehearsal - the sun was hot, the rum was flowing and the many steel bands (i.e. Esso) were beating their infectious rhythms. So it seems that they were twerking down there long before it hit Manhattan.
But I never could get under that limbo bar.
tjs